My mother in law criticizes me because I didn't circumcise my son.?

Question

I asked a question before about whether or not intact boys get teased in the locker room because my mother in law thinks I'm a crazy hippie for not getting my son circumcised. My husband tells me that I should just ignore her but she's always making another snide remark and it makes me mad. What should I say back to her to get her off my back?

Answer 1

You made the right choice. It's your son's penis, not your mother-in-law's! If she's like my mother-in-law, if you get her to stop criticizing you for this, there will be something else next week anyway! {Can you move to another state?} There's really not much you can do except develop a thick hide and just tell her the discussion is closed whenever she brings it up.

You could ask her to watch the video at http://www.cirp.org/library/procedure/plastibell/ and see what she says then.

Answer 2

Your son most likely won't get teased in the locker room. Two reasons: the circumcision trend has been decreasing, hovering at about 60% right now in the US (much lower depending on the state); and many boys can be too concerned about being teased themselves to tease someone else.

You need the support of your husband if you're going to respond to her. Him saying something is a lot more effective than you saying something. Or you can ignore her. Sometimes people annoy others just to get a response. If you ignore her long enough, she'll probably give up.

In any case, as long as there's no problems with your son's foreskin, you've probably done him a favor. Several studies have shown that being uncircumcised is more sensitive and more pleasurable for both the man and the woman (see links 1, 2, 3). And as long as he takes care of himself and maintains good hygiene (which is easy, see link 4), he can prevent/reduce a lot of the problems that people would associate with having a foreskin (see link 5).

So I guess you could tell also your mother-in-law that your son might be a better lover and that as long as he takes care of himself, he probably will have no problems. Perhaps most importantly, the foreskin is a part of your son's body, so it should be his choice if he wants it removed or not.

Answer 3

Fewer boys are being circumcised now than in the 50's 60's and 70's. She is remembering those years where the circumcision rate was about 95% plus. She probably had her sons circumcised, and every one she knew had their sons circumcised and was believed the proper and normal thing to do. All boys were circumcised. It was cleaner and healthier and in those days was believed to prevent boys from playing with their penis by rolling their foreskins back
and fourth encouraging masturbation. If they didn't have a foreskin then they couldn't play with it, so off came the foreskins. Circumcisions does have useful and medical benefits but she should respect your decision.

Answer 4

Show her the facts. Show her the statistics that in some states it's as low as 14% for circumcised newborns. Show her a circumcision video. Show her the new studies that prove that circumcision reduces sensitivity and pleasure. Show her the study that found that it makes masturbation more difficult. Show her that the USA is the only advanced nation that does this. Get your husband on your side and she'll shut up.

You can find the direct links to all those claims here:
http://forums.govteen.com/showpost.php?p=3069995&postcount=2

=)

Answer 5

Put things in perspective!!!
It is none of her business. The decision was yours to make. There is no documented justification for the procedure. In my opinion you made the right decision.
If anyone has a problem it is your mother-in-law. She doesn't know when to shut up. Tell the lady that "the decision was made, your son was not cut, you will not do it now, history can not be changed, and please do not bring this up again as it is a subject which is none of your concern." If she brings it up again, repeat the above. There should be no reason to enter into further discussion with her. Don't do it!

Answer 6

You should ignore her. Or, ask her when the last time she was a man in a locker room. Obviously, she doesn't know anything about it since she is not a man. Further, I think your MIL is crazy woman if she doesn't consider the pain her grandson would go through for no medically supportable reason.

I don't recall it ever being an issue. If someone was looking at another guy's junk, he would soon be ostracized for it.

Answer 7

you shouldn't say any remark - just ignore her and tell your husband to talk to her. Your son needs a family of support around you and someday he will realise if his grandmother isn't a nice person. If you speak up, your going to look like a witch. which might make you feel better for a few hours but in the end its going to be bad for your son. If she keeps bugging you tell her to talk with her sons father becasue its a male issue.

Answer 8

I would have her witness a circumcision of a future grandson by one of her other children if she has any. I am sure she would change her mind when she hears the scream of agonizing pain when they are cut. There is a website you can look up and find videos of babies being circumcised you should look it up and have her view it,maybe she will understand your decision.

Answer 9

tell her: "We chose not to mutilate our son. And that will be the end of this discussion." Direct and to the point.

And no, intact kids are not harassed in the locker room. It's pretty common today to see 'em both ways.

Answer 10

Rent her the film Europa, Europa.
There is also a lot of recent research that suggests it is in fact unnecessary and traumatic for young males...
It does effect size and performance, both ways.

I think you did your son a favor...he can always lob it of later when he is old enough to know what he wants.