hmm, Okay this is odd cause my fiance is more educated then me - thus has more degrees under her name as appose to I, which makes me feel like I am not the bread winner in the family.
Don't get me wrong, I am proud of her accomplishments, however I do wish to be the Man of the house. Its just not like that..
I did my Bacelors in Business and o did she, after which I did a MBA. She has done an MBA from a decent place, and also done an MSc from one of the top 10 business colleges in the world. I am actually jealous - a little bit that she has done more, so she gets paid more, and I don't feel that important.
Recently she came home at 2am... she was at work, I got back at 9 and waited for her to come - so that we could eat. I ate dinner alone, and she came back and didn't even ask abt me cause she said she presumed I ate, I did not eat...
I don't know what to do, or say..... I do not even know how to talk 2 her abt this and what to do.....
please advice, and what do u think?
2007-05-04 07:30:05 · 13 answers · asked by Ryan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By that I mean I ate a piece of leftover lunch from the fridge - thats what I called dinner - cause I got hungry.
I did not eat the actual dinner that I cooked - The meatloaf
2007-05-04 08:06:56 · update #1
One if you two are a team and you are carrying your share of the load don't sweat who makes more or who has what on their resume. Just handle your business in the bed room and you will feel like the man, as far as her coming home at 2 am that sounds too fishy, sounds like she was out doing something else. Especially since she didn''t check in. If she's hot keep a close eye on her, somebody is always doing that too. Just be happy that you both are doing well.
2007-05-04 07:41:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grow up it sounds like you are being an idiot so what if your fiance makes more then you it just means she is getting payed for her accomplishments. If it bothers so much then maybe she is not the one for you. I think you must realize that alot of women this day and age make more then there significant other, it just means that she will be able to spoil you more with toy's and extravagant gifts. I think you have to drop the ego trip and come to grips that you have a smart educated fiance which is better then a golddigging bimbo any day.
I think you both have to start to find time for each other being a workahoilc is very hard on any relationship.
Congrats on the engagement and hopefully you will become a man soon. If you are proud of her then get over this problem and just enjoy the benefits of having two great incomes and who know's when you marry you'll be a couple of DINKS for awhile. Meaning double income no kids!
2007-05-04 08:23:00 · answer #2 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is get over the insecurity, period. So what that she is more educated and makes more money. She chose you, just be there next to her and enjoy the ride that is your life. I let a great relationship go stale and fade because I was insecure about her being more educated and deserving more from her man. I was much younger and much more naive when it happened but, it was perhaps the biggest mistake of my life. Since then I have gone stale, am in an unhappy marriage, and have little to no memory of the man I once was or wished to become. Don't let that happen to you! Life is about the journey, not the destination. Sounds to me like you will enjoy the journey with this woman.
2007-05-04 10:00:13 · answer #3 · answered by D v 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I initially thought you had highschool and your wife had more than college. That I could understand your feeling.
But you hold a graduate degree. Yet you have the misguided ego of an uneducated man. Your degree is nothing to be ashamed of in front of friends and family so it is all in your head. EDUCATION SERVES TO HUMBLE THE BEHOLDER, TAMES HIS SHARP EDGES. IT IS NOT MEANT TO INFLATE HIS EGO TOWARDS HIS FELLOW MEN..
Unless your wife's actions clearly signal that she is better than you, you should just accept that you have a 50/50 household and enjoy the benefits of it. You seem to focus on how the glass is empty (to your disadvantage) instead of how full it is.
I am telling you from experience. My wife and I both are PhDs from top schools.
2007-05-04 07:52:56 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like it isn't so much that you are uneasy that she is more educated or that she is paid more money. It appears, from what you have typed, that you do not feel as if you are getting the attention that you want from her in your relationship.
I recommend you both sit down and talk. Don't be critical (e.g., you make me feel..), just honest with how you feel (I feel like ...).
Counseling would also be recommended to help facilitate communication in the relationship.
I wish you well.
2007-05-04 07:54:50 · answer #5 · answered by sleel_dew 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife is more educated and makes more than I do. I have no problem with that. It all goes into the same account anyway. You have some strange hang ups that are too old fashioned, and jealousy will destroy a marriage.
2007-05-04 08:07:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds a little like the movie Boomerang. Sometimes men hate when women have strength. You don't sound this way but I would definitely talk to her about how you feel. She is a women and probably has concerns herself. I am sure you work as hard as she does.
2007-05-04 07:44:30 · answer #7 · answered by renee125 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not worry about how much money your wife brings in and how much education she has. What you do need to worry is how you treat her and how she treats you. You both should be treating each other as an equal. What is she doing at work at 2:00 am that is another thing I would be worried about.
2007-05-04 07:41:13 · answer #8 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you and your wife are brutally honest with each other and work on communicating more effectively, you will not make it as a couple. The fact that you say " I DO NOT EVEN KNOW HOW TO TALK TO HER"... says EVERYTHING.
Talk with your wife, and make sure she is talking with you. Nothing else matters. As long as you both are happy with your lives, WHO CARES WHAT YOU DO OR HOW MUCH YOU MAKE! You should probably be focusing on OTHERS instead of yourself.
2007-05-04 07:39:09 · answer #9 · answered by flyfish_777 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I see no problem....you both are educated and intelligent and there should be no jealousy or hard feelings period....you can still be the man in the family....what about the househusbands whos wifes work and they stay home?' good luck
2007-05-04 07:36:24 · answer #10 · answered by The Emperor of Ecstasy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋