I dont need any bad comments, I am in a big mess. I have cheated on my wife and have fallen in love with this women. It is all my fault and know I am going to ruin everyones life and dreams. But I feel empty when this women is not around me. Anyone have any comments about how to break this horrible news to my wife, or have been in this situation before.
2007-05-04 07:16:29 · 18 answers · asked by hazmat1424 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Before you break up the whole house, I think you need to give this allot of thought. Rather then insult you I would like to know Why you feel you can not live with out this other woman?
I am sure the girlfriend is happy to see you, looks good, is fun, thinks your wonder full, and makes you feel good in and out of bed. She is not the wife. She is not cleaning the house, worrying about bills, taking care of the kids, washing your dirty underwear. So think hard before you regret it as the grass is not always greener.
2007-05-04 07:27:35 · answer #1 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy way to break the news to your wife. I just suggest that you really look at your marriage and think it over before you leave. I don't know how long you've been married or what kind of relationship you have with your wife. Just know that sex always clouds your judgement and be sure this isn't just a passionate relationship built on lust.
I also don't know if you have any children involved, but that is another thing to consider if you do.
I was married at 21 for 4 and 1/2 years. I was very sheltered and married way too young, but thought that because my ex was a good guy it was "meant to be". Well, obviously it wasn't. We were completely different in almost EVERY way. Needless to say it ended. I have been divorced for 2 1/2 years, now. I am in a relationship, have been for almost 2 years and I am very happy. Though I left for other reasons than you have, the only thing I have to regret is the guilt I feel for hurting my ex by leaving. I know in the long run it was kinder to both of us to end things so we could move on. Every choice we make comes with a price, just make sure you are willing to pay the price of the choices you make.
I know we all make mistakes and I don't know your life's situation, but I do know life is too short to live unhappy, whether it's with your wife or your lover.
Be kind to you and your wife by being honest. Whatever you do, don't let this keep lingering it will only make things worse for ALL of you. Make your choice and stick to it. Good luck!!!!!!!!
2007-05-04 14:37:05 · answer #2 · answered by Gretta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to be 100% sure you love this new person and just aren't fantasizing about what you do with her. Usually men and women cheat because there is something missing in their marriage. You don't seem to want to fix what is wrong or you wouldn't be asking advice. There is no easy way for you to break this news to your wife. She's going to be hurt and angry at you for doing this. But don't disrespect your wife any longer by not telling her. She deserves better than that. I hope this is what you want.
2007-05-04 14:43:09 · answer #3 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are leaving her for another woman the best way is first of all make sure you have a place to go and have all your **** ready(if possible in your car already) because trust me the worst thing you can do to her is staying around, sit down with her(privacy please) and tell her straight out, dont go around the bushes or try to candycoat it because at the end the fact that you hurt this woman still remains the same. Make sure you have one of her friends or someone close to her that you can speak to to be there for her once you have stepped out of your house, dont leave her alone. After that, get a divorce, dont make things harder for her, and dissapear from her life, dont keep her in the backburner. Trust me you are doing her a BIG FAVOR by getting you(the cheater) out of her life. I wish the best for your former wife! I wish she finds a great Man that can appreciate her as a REAL WOMAN!
2007-05-04 14:28:47 · answer #4 · answered by just curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you really love her, and more importantly she really loves you, because your life is about to take a turn for the worse. You may end up paying $$$ for the divorce, especially is she thinks you're an ***. Hopefully the new women will be worth it, although she may not be able to trust you, or think that cheating on her side is okay, too. You've crossed the line here friend, and there is no honor among thieves.
2007-05-04 14:42:51 · answer #5 · answered by cinemave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wanting advice on how to break this to your wife? What I actually think you are wanting is a way to make it easier for you so you do not feel so bad. You are about to destroy her life, her dreams, if you have kids, you will do this to them too. Just be a man and tell her up front and honest.
2007-05-04 14:55:09 · answer #6 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I refuse to believe that true love occurs as a result of infidelity. You have no idea how much pain you are going to cause your wife. You wrote that you didn't need any bad comments. You aren't the victim! It's your wife, YOUR WIFE, who is on the receiving end of this bullet. You'll get no pity from me.
2007-05-04 21:30:29 · answer #7 · answered by bgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass always seems greener on the other side and once you leave and live with this other woman things will change. This other woman will never completely trust you due to you being unfaithful to your wife. Your poor wife is living a lie thinking you are being faithful to her. If you had a problem with your wife it was your duty to tell her that you are not satisfied with her. You are wasting your wifes precious time just tell her and I sure hope you enjoy your unfaithful life.
2007-05-04 14:23:35 · answer #8 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You can work backward. What is the outcome you want? Divorce, reconciliation, coexistence? Divorce is very likely from your wife's side so what about you? If you are ok with it, then just be as plain as it can be and with apology that you hurt her.
YOu didn't say if you have children. If you do, you are imparting immense damage to them so you have to realize that and keep asking yourself if it is worth it.
Think it through before you act, rationally instead of satisfying your emotional needs.
2007-05-04 14:26:39 · answer #9 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't prolong telling your wife it will just make it harder. Yeah you have messed up, most definitely.But obviously something was missing in your marriage, to make you go cheat. Make sure you are the one to tell your wife, Don't let her hear it from somebody else. That will make things alot worse for you, make it simple, tell her and leave, don't make it into a long drawn out thing, don't make it any harder on her than its already going to be.
2007-05-04 14:25:06 · answer #10 · answered by blondie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋