Please open to suggestions or opinions...?

Question

If I am pregnant thats the big one for me here.. I am scared shitless of having to tell our parents and to tell him hes going to be a daddy.. Im scared he will blame me and leave.. That our parents wont be open to it and just bash me with negative.. and so on like my mum has told me before if it were to happen she would be ok but at other times joked she'd would kill me ... Im 23 and I know there opinion shouldnt really be such a big deal for it would be my own new family but my mums opinion means everything to me.. Please either suggestions or what you would or have done..

Oh and I dont live with my mum just to clear that up for anyone who might think that were just really close.. me and my man live together common law..

Answer 1

I know what you mean when you say your mom's opinion means the world to you. That's how I feel. My mom is the first person I told, even before the babys father. I am 21 and had no idea how to approach her. Finally I did it randomly....we were both watching TV and I said..."I'm pregnant" she turned around and just had this blank look on her face. I started crying, saying I'm sorry...she first started crying, than the questions..finally silence....to my suprise she turned around and hugged me. She was really supportive. She also stood by myside when I broke the news to everyone else. Again, to my suprise...they were all very excited.

As far as your babys' father goes....if he leaves...he leaves. I know that sounds strange but you cannot make someone become a father without them maning up to it. My babys father told me he'd be around...I am now almost 5 months pregnant & he hasn't helped me emotionally or financially. We were together for almost 2 years before I got pregnant. I am having a little girl..he tells me every day how much he loves us and wants to be with us..but his actions speak louder than his words. I've learned to let him go and do what I have to for myself and the well being of my unborn daughter. I've become such a strong person going through all this & although I am struggling balancing school and working full time...I know that I will be ok and that he's the one missing out...I won't allow myself to do the same.


You are right...it is YOU that is starting your family....and remember..as much as your families opinion and thoughts mean a lot to you....you are asking for there blessings not there permission.

Answer 2

All I can suggest is be open and honest and blurt it out. thats what I did. I was petrified of what everyone would say. My partner just gave me a big hug and has been really supportive. My parents .......... different story. I live 1700 miles away from my parents and never have any money. Im 24 but I dont have a steady job. I am a singer/entertainer which isn't steady money. They were not very happy and stuff at first but now they are very happy. Still anxious but happy and supportive. They've sent me no end of maternity clothes and allsorts. Now they are looking forward to being grand parents. just go with the flow and things will be fine in the end

Answer 3

It sounds like your mom would support you if she has actually taken the time to discuss it with you.

AND you're 23...not 15. You're a grown young lady...it may not have been planned or whatever...but obviously...this baby was meant to be...so don't stress...tell your mom and she'll give you the self confidence you need to tell the daddy...(And she'll feel special that you told her first)

The only reason I suggest telling mom first is that it sounds like you have a more solid relationship with her than you do with the boyfriend..(since there's even a chance in your head that he'll leave you over this) If that's true...then tell your mom and then tell the dad...

Either way...the baby is the most important thing in all of this...and he or she will bring you more joy than you've ever known. Don't worry about people's reaction..this is a blessing...be happy...you're allowed.

Answer 4

I've said it once, I'll say it again CHILL OUT! You don't even know if you're pregnant or not yet. Don't stress yourself out yet. Wait until you know for sure.

IF you are pregnant, then great! Don't worry about anyone else. If your man leaves you, then you wouldn't want him around to be a father anyways. And as for Mum... she may be shocked at first. She may be disappointed that things didn't go the way she planned... but once the initial shock wears off, believe me when I tell you that she will be thrilled that there will be a new baby around! My mother didn't talk to me for 2 weeks when I told her I was pregnant (I wasn't married to the dad at the time) She was raised catholic so she thought we were the biggest sinners in the world. But once that shock wore off, she was just happy that she was gonna be a Grandma.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Don't know what to tell you about the guy. You have to be the judge on that one.

When you tell your mom, don't just say it. Go buy something for the baby. Something tiny and cute. Every woman ooohs and aaahs over the tiny baby clothes in stores. Who can resist? They're so cute! Get an outfit that says "I love Grandma" and get a picture frame with abc blocks and rattles around the edge. Wrap it up like a gift and give it to her. Everyone likes getting gifts. She'll be happy to start with, then she'll see the cute baby stuff. She'll put 2+2 together and you won't have to say a word. Just stand there with the shy "do you still love me?" smirk on your face.

Answer 6

Your 23 and still looking for your mom's approval? Grow up. You are about to be the mommy. And if your boyfriend/husband blames you for getting pregnant and leaves, get him for child support. It is his baby too. If he leaves you over this, then good riddance! You don't need somebody like that anyway. Tell your mom. I'm sure she will be fine about it. After all, this is her grandchild. And by the sound of it, you will need her support, 'cause your man sounds like a LOSER! She may be upset, but she will get over it. You're her baby after all.

Answer 7

dont worry so much about what your parents are gonna say. seriously, just take a breath and let them know. they might be a little mad at the moment, but the minute the child comes out, they are gonna be sooo happy.

with the daddy...just tell him. hope for the best. maybe he'd be happy about it. if he's not, make sure he pays child support

Answer 8

I'm 23 and I am 32 weeks pregnant. At this point, you are a grown woman! Do you still live with your mother?

I guess you just have to stand up for yourself and tell them how it is (if you are indeed pregnant.)

I thought my parents would have been upset at me, but they were SOOO excited. They surprised me. They might surprise you too. :-D

Good luck!

Answer 9

theres no easy way to tell them.....if the babys father leaves you then your child would be better off without an immature father figure like that in his life....your parents will get over it i promise....

Answer 10

you have to tell your husband/boyfriend if he blames you screw him and rememind him that it takes two to tango and make a baby tell you mom, she may be mad at first but trust me they come around :)