Women: If you got married and think you made a mistake, how long would you wait to divorce?

Question

Ladies:

I want your HONEST opinions, please. If you got married to a man, and realized you made a mistake (maybe you completely still loved your ex and you know he wants to be married to you, you think you married too quickly, married because you were just "obsessed" with getting married etc.) how long would you honestly stay married, before you got divorced? Would you try to see if things changed? How long?

Would the "embarrassment factor" play a role in your decision, maybe being too embarrassed to get over your marriage, bcs. you would be worried what your friends/family would say after such a short marriage?

Answer 1

two months

Answer 2

Yes, the embarrassment factor plays a role, no matter what everyone says! I don´t know, I guess depending on how bad it is. If its little fights and bicker everyday, I guess I could last more than 3 years, maybe more. But if its major violence and such then less than 3 - 6 months (Most women, including myself, believe the BS that men will change) If its financial burdens that are wearing out our relationship. I guess I could wait 2 years, give or take. Now if its just depressing to be with that person, I guess I´d personally wait 1 year. There are many reasones that someone can think they made a mistake, those are a few of mine. By the way: cheating is instantaneous, that night my bags are packed and I´d disappear from everyone I know.

Answer 3

I think if you believe that you have made a mistake out of being alone or just like the thought of being married then maybe just look at getting an annulment. Tell the person that you were in the wrong place of thought when you said yes and that you still have not gotten over the Ex. I think this person will understand they will be hurt but really no one should expect you to stick in a marriage where you are unhappy or just not feeling the spark with your mate.

God Bless and Good Luck!

P.S. Next time choose wisely and do not rush into something you are going to regret at a later date.

It also appears to me that you divorced someone for the wrong reasons and you still have deep feelings for them. If they still have a desire to be with you maybe it is time to turn around and take it slow with your Ex. Start dating and see where it goes. I would say with everything do not get married for a number of years, and just live in different residences for awhile just so your not pushing yourself into another relationship so fast.

Answer 4

With my first marriage, I was 21, and basically got married because it was a way to get out of a very dysfunctional family. I realized almost right away that I had made a mistake. Two months later I packed my things and left. It was, I believe, the best move I ever made!

Answer 5

I think this particular person has issues and is very immature. You do not jump into marriage like a marry go round and then jump off right when it ends. What she should do is try to salvage this marriage unless the man is abusive in any way. She chose to go in front of God and others to be faithful and loving to her spouse. If she cannot get over her ex then she should leave her husband because it really is not fair to him that he is not being loved the way he needs to be.

Answer 6

Too late, you made the choice to get married, you can't just leave because of silly reasons like, well... maybe, I am still in love with someone else. Puhhhllease! You made a commitment to a lifetime of marriage, and you can't back out on it now. How would you explain it? That you are selfish and immature? That isn't very good reasoning. You need to get yourself right with God and your whole identity in this marriage. You are a wife now! Get used to it, love your husband, with all your heart and soul! Unless there is abuse or adultery, I don't feel like you have the right to get a divorce... Just my opinion though!

Answer 7

I was with a loser off / on for 12 years and had 2 kids with him. I got pregnant again and we decided to get married. I was 5 months preg when we married and I kicked his loser asss out 3 months after the marriage. I didnt care what family and friends thought. I was not embarrassed, but I was not gon play the fool and spend another moment with al oser who wasnt worth me or my kids time. This was 8 years ago. I held my head high then and now. If you want out..let him be the first to know and move on. He doesnt deserve to be played with.

Answer 8

I stayed married to my first husband for seven years for all the reasons you mentioned above. My Dad was a preacher and I thought he would not accept my divorce, but when I finally told him, He said what took you so long!! So if you are not happyly married, get a divorce! I have been married (2nd time)now to a wonderful person for nearly 32 years!

Answer 9

I divorced him after not even two years of marriage. Yes, I was embarrassed but it sure beat the heck out of staying in a loveless relationship. I had too much going for me to settle for something like that. Thank goodness we didn't have kids!

Answer 10

Embarrasment is not the main factor here, but feelings. Don't wait longer and have a serious talk with your partner about how you feel, you should not mention your ex though. Be honest about your feelings torwards him, usually talking on time will save both from more pain.

Answer 11

You might try switching gears! by that i mean trying to cope with just getting married and try to find ways to enjoy the company of your new husband. Dont give up just yet.
If all else fails have a chat with your new husband about it, talking couldn't hurt.