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I would like to start going to alanon because of my husband and his drinking. If you have gone to alanon, did it help? I don't want to spend time there if it's just going to be a big rag session on the drinker/ex-drinker. I am looking for ways to overcome the issues of the past and move forward so that we can both heal. Any info or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

2007-05-04 05:28:48 · 9 answers · asked by momofmodi 4 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

9 answers

Many, many years ago, I went to Al anon with my Mom and Dad and some siblings because of another siblings affinity for alcohol. We went to one meeting and that was it. It seemed like a gossip center - and a "who's who" in the alcohol world. Although I have to admit we did get some tips on how to not be enablers and how to address issues. Also that we should not take ownership for something that we did not create. Anyway - we just took what we needed and didn't find the need to return. We were able to resolve our family issues and move forward. The end results were very positive. My suggestion is to go to a meeting or two and see how it fits in your own scheme of things. Not everyone approaches issues in the same way - but you don't know if you don't try. And most importantly, I applaud you for stepping up to being pro-active in dealing with this disease. It is obvious that your marriage/relationship is important to you and you will do what it takes to iron out some heavy wrinkles. God bless you and Good Luck!

2007-05-04 05:39:31 · answer #1 · answered by cleesurrey 4 · 0 0

Al-Anon can be SO helpful for the problems you are describing. In fact, one of their principals is NOT to rag on the drinker/ex-drinker. I would suggest you try several meetings before choosing one, or deciding whether it will help or not. Each meeting has a different "personality." Over the years, I have seen again and again that the MOST helpful thing someone in your position can do is go to Al-anon. It will give you support and will greatly impact how you interact with your husband.

2007-05-04 05:33:53 · answer #2 · answered by pdxmaven 2 · 0 0

i do not comprehend how previous you're, besides the indisputable fact that the very shown reality that you nonetheless use the be conscious "weigh down" appears like you're literally not that previous in any respect. do not take offense to that. it really is only the case that many adults do not use that be conscious. you comprehend why those previous relationships did not artwork. do not imagine you'd be unmarried always in accordance to determining on the incorrect adult males for that reason far. God isn't doing something to you. believe him about this. imagine about issues logically. Are you attempting to make it sense like God is pointing to this or that guy? OR is God fairly doing that? imagine about that heavily. that is not demanding to cajole your self that God is offering you with a demonstration that merely isn't there in any respect. also, remember, the first relationship on your existence should be God. a guy should not be your be all end all. I recommend that to say that there is extra to you than the guy you're relationship or the guy you're marrying. Be content being unmarried! do not seem at being unmarried as being some curse. that is not. Being unmarried is a great time that you may want to enhance in direction of Christ that you'll be able to manage the days on your marriage that do not continuously bypass your way. a lot of them gained't. also, imagine about this -- perchance this isn't the time on your existence you may want to discover your major different. Wait patiently for God's timing. His timing is compared to our timing. no man or woman is perfect -- outdoors of our savior Christ Jesus. Be content with the relationship you've with him first. Be content being unmarried first. Then, and only then, delve into your project of looking an significant different. How did i found the guy that i'm marrying (getting married next might want to)? i develop into first content, then God did something. I suggested his steps the completed way, and it has presented me precisely the position i favor to be.

2016-12-05 08:30:58 · answer #3 · answered by signorelli 3 · 0 0

Yes. I had alcoholic parents growing up and I went to Alanon weekly when I was in school. It really helped me because they foucus on letting you know that things aren't always your fault. It helps you better cope with what is going on in your life and you also meet great people who are going through similar problems as you are. I highly reccomend it. Best of luck!

2007-05-04 05:33:01 · answer #4 · answered by AilanisPlace.com 2 · 0 0

I used to go with a friend who had a drinking problem. They seemed very supportive to me. The only time I saw them get on to someone was when they wouldn't open up and talk about the problem and even then it was a gentle approach. Go to one and if you don't like it go to a different location and give it another try.

2007-05-04 05:33:55 · answer #5 · answered by Alchemist 4 · 0 0

No it is not a rag session or a basher session either...and yes it was very helpful......they have lots and lots of good ideas to help people understand the difference between the disease and the person....try it....believe me it can't hurt if your willing to go the distance and inquire...you are trying...good luck

2007-05-04 05:32:50 · answer #6 · answered by jonni_hayes 6 · 0 0

What is helpful to others may not be helpful to you. You have to check it out yourself what can you lose by doing this. I went to meetings but it focused mostly on people who are married to an alcoholic. My case was brought up with a father who was an alcoholic so it really did not help me any.

2007-05-04 05:37:25 · answer #7 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0 0

i went! i found it very helpful. they don't sit there and just bash people but you can share stories and listen to stories of others. they just give you advice on how to deal with your feelings from being with this alcoholic. they really stress that alcoholism is a disease and about how you can't control the person and all that good stuff. i strongly recommend going just because sitting there and knowing you're in a room full of people who know exactly how you feel is very helpful.

2007-05-04 05:32:57 · answer #8 · answered by JM 7 · 0 0

they will be helpful in You understanding Why your husband drinks and help you deal with what comes along

2007-05-04 05:40:12 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0 0

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