I have my health, a good job, a loving and supportive family, a good car, my own place soon and improving credit (slowly but steadily). I also have friends, people in my life who care about me.......
Yet the dating thing NEVER works out. I didn't date in hs, I went on dates in a college, had a relationship, and sort of another one, but knew lots of girls too who ALWAYS said something like "you're a great guy, "you're awesome"......
Why would they say when I ask them out and then date someone else?
I've been played lots of head games with, with women acting like they like me and then when I talk to them about it they just say "Oh, this is how I am", or "Im kind of seeing someone."
Countless times I've talked and approached women everywhere, all "types" and all of them either "had a bf", had a bf, or "let me just say, 'you're awesome'"-----
I haven't been with someone in 3 years, and while im focusing on career, it's hard sometimes.
2007-05-04 05:26:17 · 11 answers · asked by axelf07 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I just had a girl on a personals site tell me
"You sound like a great guy and aren't bad looking either :) but I don't like to date guys younger than me.
She was a year older than me, and im turning her age next month.
Im sorry, but that's concernable. Im nice to people, give to the needy, efficient at work when I really try to, but to be honest, im far from perfect.....
Maybe that's my self-esteem talking. I've been on some dates the last several months that seem to go well but they never return my calls.
My first dumped me because "I didn't wear a napkin on my lap at dinner"....
The thing is I see couples everywhere, and I take it personally that it never pans out for me. There's always a reason, like competitions or a friend's jealousy causing drama and them turning the corkscrew, or "I need space", which I always respect.....
What im trying to say is, why do the wanna be hip hop and bad boy types always succeed?
2007-05-04 05:30:48 · update #1
Ok, I gotta say im really disappointed with most of your answers.
One person said I was the common denominator of all my bad relationships....
Really? And you know this how? Wait, and you know me?
Cut it out. Stop generalizing.
2007-05-04 05:38:40 · update #2
Paul Ant,
You had the best answer. The others weren't very good. Especially the women who are judging me because I don't beat up women and verbally degrade them.
2007-05-04 05:46:59 · update #3
Oh my God, some guys are so dumb sometimes (I don't mean you). It doesn't matter that you may give off a "friend" or "boyfriend" vibe. A girl isn't gonna consider whether or not she wants to date you based on that. Goddd.
I would love to help you, but it's like you said to someone else, I do not know you! It could be you, partly you, or not you at all! It could be the women you go for, or something that you do, the way you act...I have no idea! I would have to get to know you to be able to tell you what the problem MIGHT be.
All I can say is, it MAY be possible that since you are so desperate for love internally, that you seem overbearing externally. Check yourself the next time you go on a date, and try and analyze your behavior afterwards, from an outside perspective, as though you were someone else. Do you call a woman repeatedly after a date? Do you show that you are interested in a woman right after you have met them?
You know, you can meet a woman and just have her as a good friend, and sometimes love can blossom out of good friendships. The only thing I can say is that if you are pushing it with women, just take a step back and let them breathe. You might not be overpowering, but this is just one possibility.
You should put more focus on the positive things you have in your life, and not worry about the fact that you aren't dating someone. Just take a breath, step back, and take your time!!
Women will appreciate this as well.
Good luck!!! xoxo
2007-05-04 06:09:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im Gay ,but id say these women are spoiled . They have already said you are atractive , you are obviousley inteelegent as you seem to be making your way inthe world quite well .
They dont wake up to themselves untill its too late they always think that theres someonr e better round the coener .
What itry to say to peple is tha tyou can still be very happy on your own it is a social driven thing that to be happy we have to go around in pairs with the diecert view of mating and reproducing .
I dont knopw what a BF is do you mean beautiful ****?
Honestly these women are chasing a phantom that has been created by the media and societyn
dont bee drawn into this reality and dont be desperate you could convince yourself of setteling for a lot tless than you deserve . leave them to ther hopless hunt
2007-05-04 05:43:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, it's not about bad boys or the hip-hop wannabes, it's more about the fact that you probably didn't meet the right girl to be with you yet. I had this problem myself and thought about the "bad people getting to have the good stuff", then i got a date so, as they say in my country (sounds stereotipic, I know), what's yours is put aside (you will meet your half sooner or later)! Heads up! Don't despair. Great guys date great girls (even if it takes time for them to find each other). I'm a great guy, I know! V. from Moldova (Somewhere in central europe between Ukraine and Romania)
2007-05-04 05:41:05 · answer #3 · answered by vtj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you're being too much of a friend to the women and not enough of a guy in the dating sense. Seems that women categorize men into at least two camps, dating material and friends. If you're giving them the friend vibe, they just won't think of you in the dating sense. They'll like you, but they won't like you that way.
I'm sure it's more complicated than that, but that's one thing I've noticed. As to what you can do about that, that's a harder one. I guess in general, you just can't be like one of the girls around them. You can't be familiar and comfortable.
2007-05-04 05:32:09 · answer #4 · answered by Underground Man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your no longer the dumbest guy you seam to be a guy quite in love and smitten with a woman of that you cant take your eyes off her. life is purely too short to placed it aside, you want to make your flow earlier she is done waiting. you should get what you pick as speedy because some human beings can grab it from earlier your eyes. how about attempt requesting her to bypass on a date with you, commence to get to truly recognize her and purely say from time to time you're attractive! BTW warm isn't as close to practically as good as saying attractive! good luck!
2016-11-25 01:57:37 · answer #5 · answered by joyan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start really asking your friends and former dates for the real deal on you. It is you- somehow it is you. You are the common denominator in all of your bad relationships, so something is going on. Get real with yourself and really look at yourself and then fix the things you dont like.
2007-05-04 05:31:17 · answer #6 · answered by Alissandrya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
classic nice guy syndrome.. .. until a girl has been burned bad.. or is just one of the few lucky ones to grow up without such an experience... they want someone with a little more of a rebel in them.. or the bad boy so to speak.. you aren't dangerous.. you are safe... and you are swinging for girls that are looking for dangerous... so you either have to become a risk or you have to start shooting for a different type of girl.
2007-05-04 05:32:58 · answer #7 · answered by pip 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my husband used to be ''the awsome guy'' or the "friend" when he was younger. He told me that women just like jerks ...when he said enough he became the jerk ,and i admit it he was lookin a whole lot better to me ,maybe its more confidence ,i feel so bad for my husband when i think about the run around i use to give him ...you are defiantly not alone ...concentrate on what you want,you dont have to be there friend ,they ''women '' will want to be near you if they think you couldn't care,theyll want to know whats wrong with me,and insist you hang around with them
2007-05-04 05:39:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My guess is you try too hard and turn them off by being "too nice". Treat a lady like a person and enjoy being with the person. You will click with someone.
2007-05-04 05:29:40 · answer #9 · answered by Moondog 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to be a dick. For some reason most women only like the assholes.
2007-05-04 05:30:11 · answer #10 · answered by Willow 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋