Hello my married need help my husband and I are currently living apart we have 3 babies (1-2-3-) I know LOL, we are Christian and we both are in a leadership role at our church we both have issue that need to be fix I start working on my self and building up my self we have tried Marriage counseling (one session) so you know that did not work. We tried to talk about marriage and for while things started to get better but I know my husband have a strong hold and it need to be fix but he think it ok to teach the people of God and preach God words and all the word that he preach and teach do not applied to him it hurt because I want to living a whole and save life but my husband do not our whole marriage is really base on cheating, and lies, and I can not take it no more but on the another hand it hurts bad but I still love him why I ask my self that daily why …..
I know that God do not like this it hard it like I’m marriage but yet living a single life and It is kill me emotionally
2007-05-04 05:23:32 · 13 answers · asked by Jace J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can not fix him, he thinks he is above everyone else. he does not do what he tells everyone else to do. i know this is a lie...
he will not change who he is, so you must now do what is needed to get on with your life.
Your babies need a strong and good mother to help them be good people , you can do that. You must do it on your own.
There are places you can go to to get help. if you are living apart now, then you are on your way.
I know it hurts, but you must be strong for the children.
Take your power back from him, as he doesn't deserve you in his life. use your power to love your babies and get involved with people who are honest and good.
You might have to seek this at another church.
it is too bad that your husband preaches and lives a lie, but you can't change that. You can change only you and must stand tall and be good and live a good life without his negative ways.
You will meet good and strong people and you should take the time to get to know them. They will help you, all you have to do is ask.
Do not be so hard on yourself, you didn't do this, he did.
2007-05-04 05:33:55 · answer #1 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It always kills me how reglious people are determined to push the word of GOD on everyone else yet they themselves refuse to practice what they preach. That makes your husband a hypocrite. To judge others and yet not willing to live by what he shoves down other people's throats.
One session at counseling is not enough, you have to continually go and practice what you've learned over and over. If your husband isn't willing to work at your marriage then you need to end it and move on. Why beat a dead horse?? As difficult as it might be you and your children will be happier in the long run. Why stay in an unhappy and faithless marriage???
Good luck. Use your faith to strengthen you and to help you endure the tough times ahead.
2007-05-04 13:29:33 · answer #2 · answered by Weimaraner Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I understood this correctly, your husband is a man of God and preaches in your church? However, he does not believe in the things he preaches? He is cheating on you and lying to you? You do not need marriage counseling, you need self counseling to get you to believe in yourself more and build your self esteem. I know it is hard, especially with 3 babies. I have walked in your shoes, I stayed for 5 years too long. I did finally realize I am a good person and got the help I needed to help build my self esteem back up. He is mentally beating you down!!! Do it for yourself, but more importantly for your babies!!!
I wish you the best of luck.
2007-05-04 12:32:36 · answer #3 · answered by tenabutter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tough situation for you. Here you have to be strong for your babies on the outside and on the inside you're completely falling apart. So he's not practicing what he preaches, huh? That's so typical. This isn't good for the kids to grow up and see daddy being a big hypocrite. Although it is painful and the Christian thing to do is to stay in the marriage, but sometimes enough is enough. You have to do for you and you have to do for those babies and find someone to take care of you the way you all deserve to be taken care of. I hope he can change his ways, but sometimes you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Stay strong and concentrate on the kids for now.
2007-05-04 12:31:23 · answer #4 · answered by Virgo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that being single is taking a toll on your life right now. But, you have to think about your self worth. You are worth more than to be cheated on. Don't you know that your kids deserve a mother to be treated with respect? Yes, being alone in the real world is scary but living with a man that cheats and don't really respect you is even scarier. I know deep down that we hope they will change but it doesn't work like that a lot of times. One of the most valuable things a relationship is based on is trust and if you do not have that you really have nothing. Your not going to get over this overnight, it take time to heal. Pray to God and think of your children to help give you the strength to make it through this.
2007-05-04 12:35:26 · answer #5 · answered by stepintostep 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One session isn't going to do anything for a marriage, if your husband isn't going to go anymore then take it as a sign that he wants out.
He is whats called a hypocrite, a person who says one thing but does not live it.
Have you thought that maybe God does not want you to live with a liar and a cheat?
God makes no mistakes, but people do, and it may be time for you to let go of this mistake and get on about your Godly life in joy and happiness.
2007-05-04 12:32:57 · answer #6 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW what a situation! That must be difficult. I suggest since you are willing to give up, then just divorce. Sometimes you cannot help but do the opposite of what may feel right. You need to look after those babies and having a liar and cheater as a husband I know isn't a good thing for them to grow up around. Pick yourself up and get a better life without him but with God. He will guide you and help you. If your church is as great as it seems then they will step up to help you and those babies too. Good luck.
2007-05-04 12:28:57 · answer #7 · answered by MOM OF ONE 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
God does not expect you to put up with a husband that cheats and lies to you! You're already out, sign the divorce papers and finish it! You and your children deserve an honest man that will make a good life for you and the kids!!! How screwed up are they going to be hearing him preach about God and then see him cheating on you and lying to you???? God helps them who help themselves! Best wishes!
2007-05-04 12:31:18 · answer #8 · answered by wish I were 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At least if you stay apart no more babies. Stay apart until you and him can resolve your differences. If you can't work things out then you are better off alone. Why only once counseling session?
2007-05-04 12:33:47 · answer #9 · answered by p00756 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop using words like God, Christian, church ...etc.
Things are right because they are right and wrong because they are wrong.
God, Christian, church, bible ...etc agreeing of disagreeing doesn't change something from right to wrong or wrong to right.
Now can you live someone else's life?
The best teaching of character is done by example.
Now let your kids observe you and your husband and let them decide on who they want to be more like.
Remember its their decision on who they want to be, not your's.
2007-05-04 12:44:06 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋