We were married for 16 years. We built a new home in 97 and have other property as well. He is from a wealthy family and has two other places to choose from to live other than our home that belong to us as well. When I left I had to be escorted away as his father was walking around our home with a gun. I left with my children and my dog and had to start over from scratch. It's been very hard but peaceful 2 years. All that I've ask for in the divorce is one half of the property that we lived on and my personal things. His dad"the one with the guns" passed away and my husband is a quarter of a million dollars wealthier. I want this over with, my girls deserve a home close to what they had to leave. They never complain though it's been so hard. We've discovered how much you can live without and find happiness .My daughters are 7&12 and have been through more than a lot of adults but we did make it out alive and making this statement I realize how lucky I am. I need the system to work!
2007-05-04 05:17:57 · 18 answers · asked by tamm3955 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
~~*~~ I see that you're going through quite a bit here. Don't let the situation get the best of you. Instead, give the best of yourself to your daughters, as this is hard on them too and they really need you now. It's hard to "recover" from a relationship like this one and I'm sure that you were afraid to leave an angry man with a lot of money. I'm happy to hear that you found the strength to do that!
~For those that have down played all of this for you: You people have to realize that this really happens. Open your eyes to the world around you and stop kicking someone while they're down!!
2007-05-04 07:22:30 · answer #1 · answered by ionwheels03 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First don't give up hope it has to end someday. Second, don’t let this situation stop you from living the rest of your life. Make your priority your happiness and don’t let him dictate when that happiness will begin. In other words don’t let the divorce be the measure of your happiness. Read books on the subject matter try to find the good in all situations. Keep a positive attitude it take discipline at first but it becomes second nature later.
Now for the practical depending on the state you are in the process can either be long or short. In my state (FL) the process can take a while, but a lot of times people out of ignorance of the law will make common mistakes like not setting time frames when agreeing to things in mediation, just remember to never leave things open ended unless it benefits you. Also keep in mind that once you have gone to mediation (if required) you should be free and clear to file for a divorce hearing. The divorce and the separation of assets can be resolved separately. Also I'm assuming your kids are receiving child support, if not get a temporary ruling for child support because that's their money for their needs.
Good luck.
2007-05-04 05:48:04 · answer #2 · answered by Hec1971 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This man is very violent stay away from him all together for your and your daughters sake.You say it has been very peaceful and you and your girls are happy and that you are making a go of it good for you. If a house and money is more important then you or your daughters safety then let the attornies duke it out,but since you were able to leave this man without being hurt I would say move on. If you persue the issue then he has a right to visitation and their will always be a threat of violence.Yes your girls do deserve a better life as they have been thru hell but at what price are you willing to pay?
2007-05-04 05:38:07 · answer #3 · answered by JackieG 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorces don't happen over night as you know now.
I am sure you want it to be over but it is hard when he is probably fighting with you for every little thing.
Best things that I can say is don't get a expensive lawyer.
You are still married and 125,000 is yours too.
The longer you draw it out the more likey they are to cut everything down the middle. He must know that and he will fight to finish up the fight before you know it.
Just go to the lawyer that you do have and tell them to keep pushing the fact that he is violant. Keep push for the fact that you want the kids. Keep push the fact that he should not even get half since you must take care of the kids because he i violent.(not that they are a burden)
Find the blessing in everything. The blessing in this senerio is you will be close to your daughters. And for you standing up for them and fighting to get away. You ave taught them selfrespect.
We are only promised to live and to die. No one promosed us a perfect life. Sure this isn't what you expected but it is running it's course under the bridge. Soon it will be water under the bridge. And you will have your life to reshape it as you desire.
Pray and find peace. Find peace and endulge in distraction (other than dating around cause that could complicate the divorce.) Enjoy as much as you can despite it being hard.
Good Luck.
2007-05-04 05:29:19 · answer #4 · answered by theman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The way you talk about money, looks like you stuck around with a person like this soley for the money, you probably got everything you deserve. Now you want the payout. Hope you have grown up some know and realize hapiness has absolutely nothing to do with how wealthy you are. Then you say you have discovered how much you can live without(wealth) and find hapiness. Good for you, the system will work, it just depends on how you look to it, are you a gold digger, or are you a family woman that just ended up with a jerk of a guy.
2007-05-04 05:24:17 · answer #5 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Its hard to go through something like this. If you really want to divorce this man and be done with him, then forgoe the money aspect of it all if its too much trouble. Like you said, you and your kids are happy now and thats what really matters. I know letting the money go is hard esp when you could give your girls a better upbringing but sounds to me like you have already gotten them off to a good start by getting them out of that situation. Plus all that money might make them and you greedy and ungrateful. Let it go and just live life like youve been doing. Plus the divorce will go through a lot faster if you dont want anything from him.
2007-05-04 05:30:30 · answer #6 · answered by ArrowExterm 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully you have an attorney, if not get one. You will be entiteld to 1/2 of the marital assets. That is anything that was aquired during the marriage. If the father in law passed and the inheritance was granted after you seperated, you will not be entitle to that. A good lawyer can walk you through all of this.
2007-05-04 05:22:36 · answer #7 · answered by rebel g 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Delay is what lawyers do . Buying time - can fatten their wallets ..or be a help..or a hurt to you . If you are comfortable that you have an experienced divorce atty looking out for you - be patient . But if not - do some research and get one specializing in matters such as yours . No law on earth would keep you from your "personal property" . Get advice from YOUR atty ( not his ) ..and get a police escort to obtain your personal property . BE CAREFUL who you trust from now on . .and expect to be e-mailed by kooks and con artists after posting your life story .
2007-05-04 07:37:43 · answer #8 · answered by missmayzie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I so understand the need to tell your story. It is a sad story for sure. I feel your pain, only someone who has seen the terrible side of a divorce can begin to understand. I wish you well and hope your nightmare ends soon. Time will help to heal but I don't think you or I will ever truly heal. Scar yes but aways scars.
2007-05-04 05:24:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to get lawyer and he has 2 by law give u something especially because u have kids of his
2007-05-04 05:44:25 · answer #10 · answered by MAURICIO A J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋