I filed for divorce 4 months ago because
1) we have not had a good relationship in over 10 yrs.
2) or a physical one in 5yrs
3) I just long for companionship
4)Our finances are in really bad shape and out of control. He blames me, ( we have 4 kids now older teens, to feed, and cloth with the $600.00 I get from him every 2 wks and lets not forget the cost of gas, prescriptions, and any extras they may need)
5)He hasn't allowed me to work, (I do now and don't make much)
6) Will not help around the house AT ALL.
7I have never been able to work on finances with him.
8)His c/c debt is over $30,000.00 with nothing to show for it
9)He has borrowed $$ to pay it off and hasn't.
10 )told kids we have no $ because I filed for divorce.
He is contesting and said he will not leave the house.
My husband is an attorney and has always said, the only winners in the divorce are the attorney's. What has he got to gain, other than more debt by contesting? ANY IDEA?
2007-05-04 04:28:55 · 17 answers · asked by suentwobehisx 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Slow down!
Right - give your head a rest. Clear it.
You have made a damn fine list there of all the negatives of why you need to divorce this man.
Sounds a good idea to me.
What you have to do with a clear head is make up your 'battle' plan of how you are going to go about this.
First you really do need advise from a legal source. I am in the UK so I cannot advise you - you must have Womens Refuge there - they are excellent source of information - you do not have to be battered to seek them out - if you are a female in trouble - they will help.
For all his smart **** ways - he hasn't been too clever with his money has he? And is he quite happy for that fact to come out and be known to his colleaques? They are really going to be impressed with the way he has handled his life arnt they?
Keep the kids in the loop - let them have the facts - they are old enough and keeping secrets from them is not a good idea - it also allows him to put a lot of stuff and nonsense in their heads.
As your career progresses your earning will increase - but as long as you have enough to get by on in the early days - focus on that.
Take small bites out of this - don't try to swallow the whole thing at one sitting. Keep your head. Do not give in to knee jerk reactions or his bullying tactics. When he tells you the lawyers are the only winners - he is talking about lawyers who are not in the position that he is in.
He is trying to scare you.
You are tougher than that.
You can do it - but take help from every source that offers it.
Good luck my friend - things really will get better.
2007-05-04 04:41:21 · answer #1 · answered by isobellistowel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is an attorney out there who hates him (for whatever reason. lost case, won case, etc. ) so use him as your attorney! Find proof of his financial irresponsibility and give it to your attorney. I'm in the same boat except for the lawyer thing. He's just trying to intimidate you. Keep your receipts and any proof of his "lack of provision to your family" and nail him to the wall. I'm also sure he's ticked off a judge or two of the family court. Make sure you get that judge! You go girl! Time to play dirty! I'm right here with ya doin the same thing!
2007-05-04 04:52:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he pays you $600 every 2 weeks??????? Wow. I can't get my ex to pay $250 per month!!!!
sounds like you need a really good lawyer.
get out of the house. Establish yourself in an apartment. Don't live with him....if he won't leave the house, then you leave. Make it work. If you don't make enough money, find a better job (or find 2 jobs).
Make sure you close joint accounts (like credit cards). Good luck! It sounds awful.....the worst part is that YOU are responsible for HALF of the debt, because you are married to him!
2007-05-04 04:35:14 · answer #3 · answered by BarbieGurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay your husband is an attorney and you guys are in debt...Either he just passed the bar or he's a public defender...But to answer you question, he wants you to himself and he is controlling the situation by not agreeing to the divorce. My only suggestion to you is, get yourself a really good attorney who can beat your husband at his own game.
Good Luck
2007-05-04 04:47:03 · answer #4 · answered by plumprump26 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're able to desire to verify the place you will detect a regulation Packet. some bookstores carry them. you're able to do your individual divorce all you may would desire to do is pay the cost to have the papers filed. in case you and your husband can agree on each and every thing that's what i might do. some States the cost is as low as $two hundred.
2017-01-09 11:36:15 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a control freak, and trying to control the direction of this divorce with his actions. Also, he is probably an unhappy man, and wants you to be just as unhappy as he is. Don't give into his desire for control. You've given him way to much already...and it has gotten you nowhere, especially no happiness or fulfilling marriage.
2007-05-04 04:33:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl yes I would have don it long time ago that is not a relationship that is a hell hole. You need to move on Get a good attorney and get any thing you can you suffered plenty...
2007-05-04 04:35:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck with this one. Sounds like you have a real winner here, hes going to gain more debt you are going to gain more debt, no one is going to win in this one.
2007-05-04 04:38:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would seem as though he has kept you right were he wants under his thumb-consultations are usually free speak with an attorney-make sure its not one of his friends but an aggressive lawyer to see where you stand
2007-05-04 04:34:31 · answer #9 · answered by resigned 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a total jackass, if he was a good lawyer he would have plenty of money. Get yourself a better one and take him for whatever he has left.
2007-05-04 04:37:26 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa I 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋