Ok so, i'm 17 and pregnant. I know, i'm young. But me and my boyfriend have both decided that we want to have the baby =] We've been together for awhile now and he asked me if i would marry him BEFORE i got preg. We haven't told our parents yet, and i'm really not sure how to. If you saw my dad you would understand. HES HUGE (Not fat, but very very muscular). How should i tell them, what would you do if you were in my situation??
2007-05-04 04:00:03 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
yes i'm almost done with school, i finish in 3 weeks, and i start college in the fall. My boyfriend is a freshman, soon to be sophomore, in college.
2007-05-04 04:12:40 · update #1
dont let any one put you down. the fact that you and your boyfriend are ready to step up and take responsibility just shows that you are better than half the people in this world. i would try to go to my mom first and let her know that you are ready to deal with the repercussion of your actions. the fact that you are being responsible and not having a pity party for your self will hopefully earn her respect and then she can help you approach your dad with the situation.even if they both dont agree with you , never doubt yourself because your doing the right thing and will know it the first time you look your baby in the eyes....good luck♥♥♥
2007-05-04 05:03:51 · answer #1 · answered by ♥sexy_love♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all, some of the people who answered on here must be blind, because you already said your boyfriend asked you to marry him BEFORE you got pregnant. If you truly love him and there's no question you want to be together, then go ahead and get married. As for telling your parents, my husband and I got pregnant with our daughter before we were married, and I was the one to tell his mom. She and I are close, so that wasn't a big deal, but the great part about that was she helped us tell my mom and stepdad, and then he and I told my dad with my mom's help. Just because your dad's a big guy doesn't mean he'll do anything to hurt you or your boyfriend, especially if he's never done any physical harm to you before. He probably will be upset, because you're his little girl and he doesn't want to think of some guy taking advantage of you, but just be sure to explain to him that you're keeping your baby with or without his blessing, but you'd absolutely love to have his blessing. Don't worry, once you start growing your belly and when he finally sees your beautiful baby for the first time, nothing else will matter. All my family sees now is that we have a wonderful daughter that everyone loves. Good luck and congrats!
2007-05-04 09:16:41 · answer #2 · answered by musikchik0415 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just want to say first of all that you are very brave. It takes courage at your age to continue a pregnancy and become a parent. I had my first child as a teenager and I know that this is a very difficult situation. Telling your parents is a hard thing to think about but you can work through it.
I would tell them as soon as possible though. I waited till I was 5 months pregnant because I was terrified and it was hard at first but they were so supportive that I don't think I could have done it without them.
Also you need to start prenatal care as soon as possible so that you and your baby have the best start. I had medical issues by the time I told my partents that could have been lessened had I been seeing a doctor earlier. After I told them and the initial shock wore off we were able to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy. It was great to have the support and help my parents gave me.
you and your baby can both benefit from it.
I told the parent I thought would freak out the least first and had them stay with me while I told the other one.
if you find out that you cant do it that way just wait till they are both in the room together and blurt it out.
either way they will be surprised at first but after you tell them leave the room and tell them that they can come to you when they have had time to process it.
if your father is the protective type like mine was he will be more upset at first but he loves you and will still love you and will make a wonderful and loving and protective grandpa.
hope this helps. if you need to talk to someone to help you through this parents are pretty good listeners.
best of luck.
2007-05-04 07:44:28 · answer #3 · answered by J&DFL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One good thing, he already popped the question before you got preggers. Never get married just because you're pregnant. I don't know what your relationship is like with your Dad but I would tell him before he finds out from someone else, that would hurt . Make your plans (hopefully you will finish school, etc.) your baby will need parents with a decent income. Present your plans along with the news ( I would do this as a couple) so your Dad can see that you've given this great thought. Hope this helps and good luck! Oh and Congrats!!
2007-05-04 04:38:26 · answer #4 · answered by Carol F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being that you and your boyfriend have already decided to keep the baby you're going to have to tell him one way or another. Now that you have taken on an adult role you must conduct yourself as an adult and talk to your parents like one. You need to sit down and discuss with him the whole situation and how you and your boyfriend plan on making this work. If you're plan sounds childish and unrealistic expect your Father to be upset. He is going to see you as his little girl so he will probably be upset either way but you must remain calm and be very mature so that he can get over his anger and realize that you are going to have this baby and he is going to have to support your decision eventually. I hope that you have done a lot of thinking about decision making about this and I sure hope that you are almost finished with school
2007-05-04 08:47:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being that you and your boyfriend have already decided to keep the baby you're going to have to tell him one way or another. Now that you have taken on an adult role you must conduct yourself as an adult and talk to your parents like one. You need to sit down and discuss with him the whole situation and how you and your boyfriend plan on making this work. If you're plan sounds childish and unrealistic expect your Father to be upset. He is going to see you as his little girl so he will probably be upset either way but you must remain calm and be very mature so that he can get over his anger and realize that you are going to have this baby and he is going to have to support your decision eventually. I hope that you have done a lot of thinking about decision making about this and I sure hope that you are almost finished with school. I'm sure your Father would like to see you go to college but that may have to be post poned. Good luck.
2007-05-04 04:07:12 · answer #6 · answered by unmistakenly_real 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie i know your situation..I got pregnant at 16...I was scared to death to tell my parents..but I had to be honest with them..Im not sure what your scared of...it your afraid they will bemad at you...they might alittle for a min..but your their child and they love you no matter what(you will soon learn that).Now if your afraid your dad is gonna go after your boyfriend...ya that would be kinda scary but just explain to them you are getting married and are responsible enough to handle this..but of course tell them you really want there support..it will be fine..trust me..ive been there honey...good luck....your parents will respect you and your boyfriend more for going to them and not letting them find out later.
2007-05-04 04:13:34 · answer #7 · answered by clhnla25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After I spoke to a counsellor at a family planning place and made a decision about the baby..your own decision....I would go out with my mother, if you have a good relationship , have a quiet chat with her about this. If you and her can talk openly about sex and your boyfriend's marriage proposal. Break it to her first, and ask her to talk to your father. If you are scared of your father's reaction, you could be gone when your mother discusses this with him. When you and your boyfriend say you wanted a baby... were you thinking of now, or in the future... you are both too young to have children. You are still young yourselves. I had got pregnant while I was in college at age 19. My boyfriend said he wanted to marry me and wanted a baby. He was also 19. This did not happen. I ended up raising my daughter her whole life alone...she is now 26 with a baby, but married to a man who never works. I never got a dime of help or child support from her father and she never gets anything financially or emotionally in means of support from him to this day. I did not get a chance to live my life at all. I had to live my whole life for my kids. I also have a 14 year old son now, and was never married or had any help and he is now having great difficulties with the law and school, drugs, etc... because his dad too left ... it is a tough, sad life to be alone with your kids. My daughter's dad, when I was 19 had me go off the pill because he wanted a baby... interesting... when he got the baby he was gone. Not even around to see her be born in the hospital. My son's father left before he was born too....interesting. I wish you had considered your life ahead of you and were on birth control until you were married and ready for a baby. I am now 47 years old with not a dime... no savings, no retirement, no house in my name..nothing. And though I graduated from college, and worked hard to support my kids, there was nothing left. One person cannot do it alone. It was hard to work all the time just to servive, and I was never there when they needed me, they were in day care... I never got to enjoy their days. Now they both blame me for not being there for them... I am a hurt soul and cannot win. If I were you I would plan on other alternatives...adoption, or something. You are just too young. Take time to actually live your life before you are responsible for other's lives... just my advice. What ever you decide to do, go to a family planning clinic (free) and talk to a counsellor now...have an adult trusted mentor or friend take you there. Listen and make a good decision. Also, you should stay on birth control...you are too young. Good Luck to you.
2007-05-04 06:54:52 · answer #8 · answered by Diane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations!! I think if i was in your situation I would leave a little longer. I know you think he will never leave you and you are so truely in love but when the baby is born he might find it too stressful and do a runner. But on the other hand he will stick by you and you will happily stay with him for the rest of you life! Good luck with whatever you decide. I hope your happy in the future. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
2007-05-04 06:25:54 · answer #9 · answered by sxcsam92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad's going to find out eventually anyway. You might as well tell him now. The worst he can do is get mad. You should maybe do it without your boyfriend. Tell you mom first though...let her sit on it for a few days and make sure YOU, not she tells your dad. Maybe she can help you with support though when you do decide to tell him
2007-05-04 04:13:16 · answer #10 · answered by Kennedysma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋