Does anyone out there have any good advice on how to help my teenage daughter realize it is not okay to use the F word. She is by no means an out of control teenager. She is very popular, funny, and gets excellent grades! However lately she is swearing alot and has also become bitchy. She also talks disrespectfully to family. She is 13 years old and I realize her hormones are in full swing which explains the moodiness. Is swearing a way of asserting her own person and will she grow out of it? or should I seek counseling for her if punishment has not been working? Please help me!!
2007-05-04 03:59:46 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I tended to use a different reinforcer other than money when I was still raising my child. Money has too much "importance" in our society, and I feel that children need to learn the value of respect for humans, not inanimate objects.
Instead, I talked to my child about it, and explained that I did not like that behavior. I then explained what the consequences would be if it continued. For example, if she continued refusing to respect our family, she might lose the "priviledge" of going to a movie that weekend, or being unable to stay overnight at a friends house, etc. That is, she was limited in human contact until she could respect them. Sounds like I'm treating her like an "animal", eh... well, she was behaving like one... eh?
As well, I explained to her very carefully that using the "F-word" is not the way to get peer acceptance. I pointed out that people in general, including her peers, know that excessive use of foul language is a reflection of uncreative mental activity. who wants to be perceived as "dumb" anyway??? ;) I pointed that out to her, and gave her some tools to use to be more creative... that is, I asked her what other words would expres more specifically what she was trying to say, but be much more subtle and therefore get the point across more powerfully, and be socially appropriate. We have to remember... we are the adults. If we want the behavior to change, we need to teach the new behavior as well as remove the old one. ;) Yes, your daughter *is* experimenting with her own independence... but there are ways to help them do so safely. ;)
2007-05-04 04:59:15 · answer #1 · answered by 'llysa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is that this word is so overused in society , i do think the constant use of it is certainly a social marker of the loewer classes .
It shows a distinct lack of flair for the use of the vocabulary.
And it hink it sounds bad coming from a woman i dont think it equalisers the sexe's
As too how to stop it I d cant help you because it is constantly reinforced by the media and peer groups where it hasd lost its meaning ,
I think you possibly however crudely it sounds have to accept it on this basis it is just letting off steam
As Your daugter matures she may find that she may want a boyfriend who does not like his lady to swear like a ladette then she will battle to get out of the HABIT
uP TILL THEN I'M AFRAID YOU WILL HAVE TO ACCEPT THIS LADETTE BEHAVIOUR
2007-05-04 06:02:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
She will probably continue to swear if its not corrected. Let her know that it is not cool and she sounds very trashy. She will lose the respect of people around her. If she doesnt want to act like an adult, dont give her any privelages. Tell her until she can control her mouth she will not be allowed to have friends over or go anywhere because her friends are probably influencing her. Hopefully this will snap her out of it.
2007-05-04 04:10:34 · answer #3 · answered by sea_sher 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
if talking to her about it doesn't work... then try this :) I'm assuming you give her money in the form of an allowance... if so.. charge her for every time you hear that word come out of her mouth.. 50 cents a pop and she'll stop quicker than you think :P... also.. make sure you aren't using the word around her... even though you are an adult, it is still your job.. especially in their minds... to set the proper example for them.
A funny story real fast. when I was about 14 I would say Crap all the time.. and my mom didn't like it.. so she charged me 10 cents a pop... well one day we were all out on the river and something happened and this is what I said:
"Crap!... Oh Crap.. I just said Crap... Crap I said it again!!.. ahhhh"
My mom laughed so hard she almost peed herself.. I got charged 40 cents and stopped using the word pretty quickly after that... you just have to be strong and remember that you are the adult.
2007-05-04 04:09:33 · answer #4 · answered by pip 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Make her put $1.00 into a Swear Jar, every time she uses a curse word (could be more money if appropriate).
The money must be used for Charm School, which she will attend once she learns to control herself.
2007-05-04 04:29:43 · answer #5 · answered by Eartha Q 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
tell her that people's impression of those who swear a lot are not good. for instance, being seen as ignorant, lower social economic class, etc...
sure we swear once in a while. sounds like she's pushing the envelope till u slap her back in.
2007-05-04 04:05:54 · answer #6 · answered by rover 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Every 13 year old swears, she'll grow out of it. They're just words, it could be worse
2007-05-04 04:03:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
You daughter is getting out of control.
She needs to learn some respect, because if she is acting that way at THIRTEEN, I doubt she will grow out of it. She is learning what is "acceptable" and what isn't. If you do not set those boundaries soon, she will walk all over you and more than likely turn out to be one bad seed.
2007-05-04 04:06:34 · answer #8 · answered by qt_pitutie1564 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
you just need to discipline her ground her take stuff away she'll soon learn that swearing is bad when you do that
2007-05-04 04:04:18 · answer #9 · answered by Problem? 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You need to discipline her. That is not good. She has no respect
2007-05-04 04:08:29 · answer #10 · answered by gizmo0013 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋