Our power and other utilities are getting disconnected and our agreement was that I pay the mortgage (which takes one whole paycheck) and he pays the utilities. Nothing is getting paid and I have had to try to pay everything myself to keep things going. We have two children and recently received notice that our home is in foreclosure. Does anyone agree to divorce and let lenders have the house. We are already in Ch. 13 so there's no more bankruptcy options. I believe he is spending his money on drugs and gambling. How do I tell my kids Mommy doesn't want Daddy living with her anymore? Help, I've cried for days and have no family to help me or talk to. My parents are dead and extended family have all passed also.
2007-05-04 03:28:55 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Forget trying to talk to your husband. You need to do what is necessary to take care of you and your children. No marriage or relationship is worth trying to save if he is not doing his part. Get yourself to an attorney and do what is necessary to take care of you and your children.
2007-05-04 03:40:12 · answer #1 · answered by cfalways 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your home is in foreclosure were you paying the mortgage? I dont think you two have been paying much of anything. Seek debt counseling and go from there, divorce is not always the answer to every little problem in a marriage, i mean if you came on here and said he beats me and the kids, now we are living in these conditions because he is so controlling I would say hit the door running. But in your case now i think you should seek financial advice and take a course in finances. Or you need to find a third party to take care of your money. Until you have completed the courses and think you will be able to live a productive life with out overspending, the money is going somewhere and you need to figure that part out too. You can always have his check direct deposited into an account, have the utility companies and the mortgage holder withdraw the payments automatically every month. Good luck to you all.
2007-05-04 03:36:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a very reasonable woman. I pay $525/ month on one kid plus I carry the medical and get stuck with most of the copays. I think I see what happened...you say your ex quit paying for extras AFTER you took him to collection. It might be possible that he's resentful for you taking him back to court. I think you are being more than fair to let him get off paying only $375 for two kids. Maybe he is not legally obliged to pay more, but I think you might want to show him what a typical child support bill looks like then tell him he can do it one of two ways...either help out willingly or you will have his CS adjusted upwards. I'm not a big fan of the CS system in general but when someone is being fair about it and the NCP still won't appreciate it, maybe it's time to use the system to push things along.
2016-04-01 08:12:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really do need someone to talk to and get better advice, if it was me I would go to a woman's shelter and ask them what programs are available to help you and your children out of this situation and on your own feet. It's very hard for you I know but there is a lot of truth to when you have hit bottom, there is no where to go but up now. So think of you and your children and Don't have to worry about a divorce right now. I wouldn't rush into telling your children anything right away either, because you may be able to talk your husband into getting some help if you still want to try to work things out. About your house you may want to speak to an attorney. I don't know for sure but perhaps there is a way for you to get free consoling.
2007-05-04 03:42:44 · answer #4 · answered by auntkarendjjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need a maker rebuild job from the ground up. Your in fifnancial trouble from living beyond your means. The best you can do is divorce this playa and let the courts force him to pay in another way. Keep the house at all costs and downsize if you need to after you think things through without your husband in the picture. See about refinancing or selling the present home but don't just turn it back without a fight. You'll always be sorry.
2007-05-04 03:35:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with most of the other answers.
Sounds like this deadbeat husband of yours is no good; he's actually dragging you and your kids down with him!
Get advice from a good lawyer and do it today! This cannot wait anymore and you need all the help you can get!
Think of yourself and your kids- Forget this man. He is obviously very immature and doesn't want to do anything with his life. He will not change so don't keep hoping he will !
As for the children, say that Daddy is sick and he needs help, but you cannot give it to him. And that you are going to take care of them and yourself, so changes will start immediately.
I know it will be hard sometimes, but you have to take control of this situation NOW. DO NOT WAIT any longer! You have lost enough valuable time already so pack up and leave !
Good luck, honey! You deserve better- don't forget that!
2007-05-04 03:51:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
File a quit claim deed on the house, and let it be your husband's responsiblity, pack the kids up and move out. He will either sober up, stop gambeling, and step up--or he can take the steps up to the judge when you file for divorce. He needs to step to the plate or drop the bat. You and your children deserve so much better than that. Get out, go to friends, family or even a shelter--but go, you don't need the stress and strain. Get advice from your pastor or a counselor on how to tell thekids, where it is age appropriate, and where they will understand. GOOD LUCK!!!!
2007-05-04 03:34:43 · answer #7 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well yeah I guess you do need to get rid of him. How sad for you. But things always have a way of working out. Go to court and get him out and start divorce. You may be surprised to learn that cause you have children that he will have to make the payments on the house. But a house is a house. If you need to let it go you will find a home else where without him. It will be hard for a Lil while. But it will get better for you and your children. Good luck
2007-05-04 03:34:25 · answer #8 · answered by Shirley D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to your local Women's Resource Center and get some legal assistance. Probably time to downsize and live in something more affordable anyway. Quit paying on the mortgage and stash the cash for an apartment. Good luck; and if you need any income tax advice don't hesitate to ask as I've done taxes for many years.
2007-05-04 03:37:38 · answer #9 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK! Heres what you do-is the house in his name or your's? or both? If it is in his name then simply move out into an apartment and get the hell away from him. If he is using drugs & the such you dont want that around the kids. Move out and get yourself & your kids safe. I would call and talk to the utility companies and see if they can be switched into his name(if not already) so your credit doesnt get messed up anymore than it already is. I would talk with the lender regarding your house and tell them whats going on. You need to move out and separate yourself from this man.
2007-05-04 03:36:16 · answer #10 · answered by brideofsatan_1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing - see a lawyer. You need to protect yourself and your kids financially. Put your house up for sale and kick that deadbeat out. Are the utilities in his name or yours? If they are in his name, pay what you have to pay to keep them from being disconnected and then let them go after him for the rest of the amount owed.
If you can't afford an attorney look in your phone book for your local legal aid office.
2007-05-04 03:41:02 · answer #11 · answered by Lorie M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋