Having a mixed baby in a racist family.?

Question

I'm african american, I know what you all are thinking, I'm with a white guy. NO he's hispanic, and his family is racist. THE STORY GETS WORST--we all live under one roof. Problem, we're going to have a baby. Since I've moved in it's all been about race. I'm so tired of the words MOYA, NEGRA, MORADA, CHELE. (racist words in my opinion) and then they say "Oh I wasn't saying *translated* ****** in a bad way." Even though there's no good way (in my opinion) to say ******. I don't even use the word in english. They've taught my niece to be a racist and she's very strong about it, but because I speak spanish she doesnt see me as black. One time I heard his mother saying "?Y que corazon podria tener un MOYO?" *What kind of heart could a BLACK man have? I don't want my future child to grow up with this. They're already DENYING the fact that he is going to be black. and don't want him to speaking english. What can I do? I dont want them even looking at my kid.

He is really close to his family and his mom is a witch. He defends me but he also defends her even if she's in the wrong. One time someone asked her if I was pregnant and she said "yea right who would the daddy be?" and he said she was saying it in a nice way. I'm leaving this year and I'm not going to let any of his family have unsupervised time with my child.

Answer 1

Hispanics can be more racist than whites sometimes. I am in your same situation, but my inlaws don't say anything to my face, because I don't live with them and because I tell them exactly what I think. One, move out with your husband. You and your children do not have to be subjected to that kind of ignorance. Two, you need to quit trying to be open-minded and get back to the black woman you are and tell them exactly what you think. Only then will they shut their mouths and respect you. Most Hispanics I know cant stand direct confrontation and will back down if you get in their face and tell them who you are and who they are. His family quit messing with me when I started being a the black woman I was raised to be and quit trying to be "polite". Hispanic "polite" is a huge cover for abuse. Knock it down, and don't worry about them not liking you, they already don't. You take a stand and make them respect you, you do not have to convince them that you are worth something, you know you are. If your husband won't stand up for you, you, as a black woman, know what you have to do.

Answer 2

This is kind of a kind of tough question.
I've never been in your predicament (Interracial) , but what some may see as the obvious choice, "get out of there quickly"; may not necessarily be that easy.
I DO believe for your child's sake and yours, is to move out. I would keep an open door of communication with family for the child's sake, cause he belongs to both cultures and teach him about both. What does the father say? and how close is he to his family? especially to allow them to talk to you in this manner.
Name calling in ANY language translates into hurt feelings.

I wish you the best of luck. :)

Answer 3

Girl I feel you pain, I was in the same situtaion. I was going out with a Latino guy and it pretty serioius and his family hated me because I weas Black. I used to hear them call me a moya, mayata, puta, all the time. I coulnd't take it anyone, I just left him becuase I felt like he wasn't defending me and his family was very disrespectful. I want to know how does you're man feel about all of these, he needs to be on your side and defending you. Hang in their sista, I think once the baby is born they will probably change their ways.

Answer 4

thats a sorry as group of people there, uneducated hispanics that make every other hispanic look bad. In my family my brother has a white woman for a wife, they have two beautiful girls and one son, my family loves her and welcomed her as part of the family, my sister married a black man and they have two beautiful children boy and girl, and we welcomed him into our family with lots of love. I think you should talk to your man and do something to try to move out of there as soon as possible. Your baby should not have to grow up around hateful ignorant ppl like that.

Answer 5

Yes, you've got to get out of that environment.

I know of a similar situation with a friend and I told her this:
At the end of the day this is YOUR child, this is YOUR relationship and no one else can lay claim to it. It's your happiness and even though they might be family, they don't actually have anything to do with it unless you want them too.

Get yourself and your unborn baby out of that toxic environment.

Answer 6

You're not going to be able to change them. It's a toxic situation. The best you can do is keep trying to move out until you manage it. And, since you haven't descended to their level, stay that way -- your attitude will rub off on your child.

Answer 7

When they say this stuff, you ought to speak up a bit more. Tell them you don't care how they meant it, but that it IS offensive and that's the end of the story. Maybe then they'll get it.

Answer 8

Move far far away!! Im totally with you on this!! What a horrible family!! Get out of the state! Heck, get out of the country!! Your man's either with you or hes not!!!

Answer 9

It sounds like you, your man, and the baby should get out of there unless you are willing to face this for the entirety of your child's life.

Answer 10

Ask your guy what he thinks--that's really going to be just between you and he anyway...

I think you have the right heart and you will do what is right for your family...

God be with you...