I have no clue what to think about my wife now. Let me explain: I have 2 kids from my first marriage. She has 1 from a previous relationship. We got married and blended families. It’s been tough. Real tough. We have been fighting about having another child. I told her let’s wait a bit until everyone is settled and we get through a couple years of marriage. She always said “you still love your ex. Wife. You had kids with her but won’t with me”. That’s not the issue. The issue is being responsible for the children and our marriage first. Then we can discuss having another one. I wasn’t against it. Well she took matters into her own hand and quit taking her birth control. I didn’t know. She got pregnant. Now she’s saying I don’t want anymore kids. I want to end this pregnancy. What does that tell me after arguing all the time over this? I don’t know but I’m thinking one of 2 things: she either cheated and it’s not mine or she’s decided this marriage isn’t working out and she doesn’t want anything to do with me. She goes back and forth. She yells at me for not wanting one right now then a week later she would say “I’m not having a child with you”. Now that she’s pregnant I believe her stubbornness out weighed her logic and she’s figuring out I was right all along but she had to get her way. Now she understands that her way is not what she really wanted or she’s thinking about doing or has done something really stupid. What do you think?
2007-05-04 01:52:27 · 15 answers · asked by golf4everdude 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For me this is quite simple: She has forced you into a situation where you have to make a choice: No matter how unfair it can be that you are forced into this situation, this is how it is.
No matter how much you feel about what has happened, you simply cannot think about that as more important as the start of a new life. You simply cannot expect her to accept that this kid should be taken away just because you feel overrun by her. Even if she has cheated upon you; if she wants to keep the child, everything else are details.
The question you must answer therefore is: Do you want to keep your wife and do you want to be the father of the child? Do you want to (or are you able to) take responsibility in the situation that is now?
Stop feeling pity for yourself, that is not what is needed now!
2007-05-04 02:08:16 · answer #1 · answered by prozit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what you're hoping to hear. Stop blaming her and start thinking about the baby. You loved your wife before the "blending" and she still has wonderful qualities. What do you hope to gain by driving this in the ground? She's not going to terminate the pregnancy.
Its done. Forgive her for the poor decision, tell her that you are disappointed in her decision but that of course you will love a child. Then be a father.
Next time the two of you use birth control, let it be you that wears a condom. Either that or go get a vasectomy.
2007-05-04 02:13:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds to me like the two of you have a lot to talk about. Have you thought about marriage or family counseling to help you cope with the "big" change. Right now is not a good time for her to be stressing if your going to keep the baby. She's probably just going through those pregnancy emotions. Were there signs that she could have possibly cheated? I think the two of you really need to have a "sit-down" and talk (without arguing) about what is best for everyone (the kids especially).
2007-05-04 02:06:10 · answer #3 · answered by mrs.jlittle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She sounds a immature and insecure. It is hard enough combining two families under one roof. I think you were right on wanting to get settled. Until the baby is born and you are able to get a blood test or DNA test to prove otherwise the baby is not yours you need to try to be supportive. Your wife sounds a little unstable..maybe it is just the hormones from pregnancy. The both of you need to get some counseling as a couple and as a family. Everyone in the family needs to know what is expected of them to make your house a happy home.
2007-05-04 02:03:21 · answer #4 · answered by Tarheel mom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think no matter what you do, she is still going to be insecure. especially about the ex-wife. i have to say though, to tell her you want to end the pregnancy isn't a smart thing to do. what's done is done. now you get into the whole choice/life debate. or am i misunderstanding and it was her that said you wanted to end it? i feel most sorry for the other kids that are having to listen to all the arguing. maybe seek a professional counseler. if you really love her, give it a shot.
2007-05-04 02:19:16 · answer #5 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I THINK you had better read the world's shortest book again, the one entitled "Everything Men Know About Women". It is printed on one sheet of paper and is blank. I admire both of you for getting married and trying to raise a family; I have been married almost 38 years and have raised 6 daughters, half bio and half adopted, and it matters not how you acquire them as their sole purpose in live is to drive you insane (get used to it). Try to not argue with your wife as you are not going to win; even if you are right you will be wrong. They have the advantage as women never forget and men never remember. Go to work, say "Yes dear", love the kids and to hell with the rest of the world.
2007-05-04 03:00:55 · answer #6 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, Im sorry another man has to go thro this. I feel like shes demanding attention, and when she feels like you're not 100% happy about her actions she pulls the im going to get an abortion card to see how you react hoping you will say no i want the baby ( which either way you felt before you should now) and she will feel like she is no longer in the wrong. And the whole you love you're ex also ties into that, she prolly wants you to say bo i love you more let me prove it to you. Its all twisted together. Its a desperate plea for attention.
2007-05-06 18:53:55 · answer #7 · answered by mandilynn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think that the baby is not yours??Why does your wife think that you are still in love with your ex.Sound's like you two have some major issues that you need to work out.Now that she is pregnant her hormones are really gonna get worse..
2007-05-04 02:45:33 · answer #8 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How come, in every single story from a man about his marital problems, the wife is portrayed as being completely insane?
2007-05-04 01:59:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Than why did you get married at first place?Family means you and your kids.She wants to have your child that means she loves you so much till want to have a child with you,and ,pls,stop suspecting her of having affair and all this nonsense.OMG,isn't it clear that all she wants is to have family with you,otherwise why does she need this all:fighting with you...she got a kid on her own.And all she saying out of bitterness she feels.Take care of her,she carry your child!
2007-05-04 02:16:38 · answer #10 · answered by Lively_spirit 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋