Can some one experienced tell me if it is worth to start a second life at age 50? Marry? Have children?

Question

My family does not need me any more. All are setteled well and runing their lives. My wife has interest in her parent's politics and she is happy with them playing politics (still my very good friend). My children are above 18 and 20 and studying away from home. I thought re-marring would bring a new drive in my life. Having a child/two children would be again fun. It was fun when my children were young. But then I was young and had lots of energy. Now I am 50. I have excellent job and earn well and am not worried from that point of veiw. Another issue is that if I want children I have to marry a women who is max age of 35 so that she can give birth to a health child/children. Some say that it is not recommended that I have chidren now as in school the children will be told that I look like their grandfather. Some say no to get in a marriage comitment again. Just enjoy your life alone (which I can't. I need to fight, meet chalanges like a warrier, all the time to keep me going).

Answer 1

You really have answered your own question.You said that you cannot be happy alone so get out there and meet someone you don't have to start over and have children but you can find a companion you are never too old for that..My grandmother remarried and 63 and they are now in their 80's..Good Luck & Best Wishes.

Answer 2

Good Morning: that's a big decision to make...are you unhappy with your wife? or just bored? think those are 2 important quetions you should ask yourself...boredom can be fixed if you have an open mind...sounds like you've been together along time...if your wife doesn't make you happy anymore than go for it - get out & make a new life for yourself. It's not easy...at your age...i don't think there's too many 35 year olds that would want to get involved with a 50 year old man...not saying there's none...childeren at your age? I don't think that's a good idea...your kids will be having kids soon enough...you can enjoy your grandchildren...if you really enjoy children why don;t you volunteer some where with them. Or become a big brother to some poor child that needs a friend...Your wife should be your best friend...have you talked to her about your feelings? Is the spark gone from your marriage? If so get out there & look for someone new...Do you ever think of what your children will think? Maybe you could buy a new house for you & your family & work on getting the spark back...Sometimes you just need a change...well i hope this helps you out a bit...when you get all your answers - make sure you read them carefully - we all have different opinions...just think of all the people involed before you make your decision...Good Luck to You...
Sea ya
Daytripper

Answer 3

Well, two thoughts.

One, I know a few guys who remarried and had a second set of kids, which I guess they enjoyed, though my sense in most of those cases was that they would have been fine with no kids, but the 2nd wife wanted a family, and they were okay with that, and of course loved the kids when they came.

I also know a friend of my dad's, he was married for a long time to a woman who didn't want kids, they ended up divorcing, when he was in his early 50's he married a woman in her mid 30's, and has two kids. He's incredibly happy, he ALWAYS had wanted kids.

So I believe if this is what you truly want, you could be happy with it.

My only concern is that maybe you are just trying to fill a void in your life, and there might be other ways of doing it. Keep in mind that 10 or 12 years from now, you could have grandchildren, etc (well, maybe sooner, who knows).

There are 'milder' options as well. You could volunteer more time with organizations that work with youth. Maybe you'd find that at 50, your energy level is better suited to spending 2-10 hours a week helping to mentor and work with kids, then going home for a good night's sleep! I'd suggest you maybe try that first actually, and see if its giving you what you're looking for.

Answer 4

Partner, you are thoroughly bored!!

A second marriage will probably strain you with further responsibilities. The procedure of making babies, no doubt, is far more fun than facing the responsibilities that come after 9 months.

At 50, don’t take on more than you can handle. Your mind is still young but your body no longer is. Your wife has probably gone through this phase herself and has chosen politics.

If you want some excitement, get a club/gym membership, participate in the events organized there, travel around the world, take up a new hobby, go for a complete change of wardrobe or just go have a fling with the person you have been eyeing for some time. If your wife is really a good friend, she'll understand.

Answer 5

Hi, I'm in the same boat as you, I'm 49 and love a woman 30 with 4 kids that I adore, I would marry her in a minute and be very happy raising her kids. We have only been together since december but I know what I want and i'm sure we would all be happy. Just waiting on her at this point. I raised 4 kids and they are all on thier own now/. I feel being older and experianced will help me be an even better father the second time around. Good luck i'm sure you'll make a great dad!

Answer 6

You are not divorced yet. You need to work on why your marriage is not fulfilling for both of you. Your children are sooner or later going to be making you a grandpa and that is way better than being the mom or dad. You get to spoil them and take them home. Most parents would be thrilled to have grandparents take the kids for weekends and give them alone time. Rather than a new family you need a new hobby or volunteer for a children's cause. Coach little league or something while your wife is busy "playing politics". Have you discussed this empty feeling with your wife? Neither men or women are mind readers to the others innermost thoughts and needs.

Answer 7

Vincent don't despair.You have to forgive your parents for they are in the darkness of fundamentalism.How could anyone do this to another human being because they exercised free will.This is a tale from the dark ages. You do have a family.You have us.You can get through this.I cannot say any more than that for I know also what it is like to be abandoned,betrayed and rejected.Flesh and blood you are and from flesh and blood you came and one day you will return to your true home where there is no fear and isolation.You just have to keep your eye on the light up ahead.I am not going to tell you that your prior faith and culture is wrong.You already have been a victim of that mistake which your parents and family will have to account for.Don't forget in the depth of their minds they will know they are wrong for they rejected you and that will never leave them no matter what they are told or what they believe.Just don't give in to the despair.Your better than that because you are free of what once imprisoned you.You can also get practical help from the agencies that will see you as disabled.Keep faith in yourself because ultimately that is all we have and from that we can rise again and Vincint I have every faith in you.

Answer 8

my current husband started a nes life at the age of 49. he marreid me, i was 35 at that time. he is very happy having young, good looking , energetic woman. he also has 2 adult children and i have 3 not adult ones. so if u re secure and have an excellent career (my hubby does) it is easy for u to find a new, young woman. my husband found me very fast. who wouldn't want to take home a nice looking, suit wearing guy who has a successful career and is independent with money? i tell u every body. women would fight for u i m telling u. but about children - u re right, they require a lot of energy. even if i am quite young i don't know whether i am able to handle little child. but we re enjoying with my husband without kids - going out every week, travelling a lot - it is fun when u don't need to think what to do with small children. anyway, good luck, i am sure u will find 35 year old and maybe even younger one very fast

Answer 9

My parents were old enough to be my grandparents by the time I was born (10 siblings) ...but what about having grandchildren? By the way children always need there parents...even if it doesn't feel like it. It sounds like your just lonely for a family life. What about getting involved as a mentor. Don't forget that there are lots of places to go to be involved with children....boy scouts....etc. Find things to do.....and get involved with children who need a father figure....there are lots of kids that will put up with you.LOL But, seriously, there are so many children that need love out there. You don't need to make more to do what you want to do. And again, what about grandchildren? Oh, ya, and arent you still married?

Answer 10

yes 50 is like the new 30 and the 30 is like the 20's so livelive live. enjoy ur self. but u really probaly dont need ore kids.

u r free u have raised 2 beautiful ones im sure and gave them a chance to grow p. and startin all over with anotha kid is like omg. not that easy..lol but meet n mingle with other lovely women.. in most cases a yunger spunkier women will give u that drive u r looking for!