what would you do if your husband cheat on you?

Question

my husband say's he met a lady. he is not in love with her. It was just a flirt. i don't if it is the truth. He is not willing to reveal this lady i.d

Answer 1

I've known about my husband's infidelity for some time and have no idea how to trust him again. When I first found out about the affair, I didn't see him as my husband, I saw him as the man who cheated on me, the man who hurt me immensely. Now that considerable time has passed, I see him as my husband who cheated on me. There are days when I want to retreat, pull out of the conflict because no victory is in sight. Then there are days when I think that maybe, just maybe, I can see the shining light of trust at the end of the tunnel. Maybe, just maybe, I'll one day see him as my loving husband who made a mistake.

Answer 2

Does that mean that he cheated on you. If you are sure that he has cheated you. Just look at the time you spend together and decide whether you can give your relationship one more chance or not. Make a rational decision and go for it. I am not in favor of living with an incorrigible cheater but before ending a relationship make sure that you left nothing to repent after wards. All the best.

Answer 3

I would most definitely have to leave. I have kids, what kind of example is their father setting for them if he doesn't respect their mother enough to go out and cheat! Not only that it would cause too many problems. I wouldn't be able to trust that when he walks out of the door he is going where he is supposed to be going. Also, every time we get into an argument I'd throw it up in his face. I could maybe forgive, but not forget. Thats stress I could do without!

Answer 4

Contrary to some saying they would end the marriage many couples stay together and work through and past this. You never know until it happens to you. You need to see a marriage counselor right away to help you two sort through this. Your husband may not want to reveal who she is because he still holds feelings for her and is keeping her as a what if girl. He must however agree to sever all contact with her from now on with there being no reservations and he must agree at some point to reveal who it is. You contacting her for any reason is not necessary and besides why would you want her to think you spent one millisecond thinking about her. He must agree to his life being an open book to you and must agree to tell you when unplanned contact with this woman occurs even if it is 30 years from now.
Only you can make the decision about your marriage being worth keeping if he is committed to it also.

Answer 5

You have to decide what matters to you. Why would you want to know this lady's name, so you can give her the evil eye or something.
You asked what I would do, I left my husband and he didn't even cheat physically but on line and it wasn't the cheating that cost the marriage it was him lying about it after he promised not to do it again and I caught him. I have no tolerance for liars, cheaters and people who break promises.

Answer 6

It's hard to forgive, but I would try counselling before the obvious divorce. He should be honest and upfront with you. And feel that your the only one or it's not what a marriage is . You can emotionally cheat on someone and if his heart isn't with you when he's not with you. apparently something is right with him.
Try talking to him without sounding jealous or judgemental towards him.
Definitely get to a therapist so you can work out the issues.

Answer 7

I have to start with a couple questions...

First it sounds like you don't trust him...Is that so? If you don't he may be fibbing to ya. If you do he may be telling you the truth.

Second...when you say flirt..do mean just a conversation or actually committing adultery? Both men and women engage in some type of flirting...we all do it but just to different levels. Both genders still like to know they are attractive to the opposite sex.

If you trust him he may just want to let it go...

If you don't trust him and he won't reveal who it is then it is very possible he did something more than just 'flirt'.

Maybe the word 'fling' is a better choice of words and if he did have one...it is easy to forgive but never forget.

Answer 8

You know what is worse that being cheated on? Being cuckholded, being treated like a fool, being the only one in the room that doesent know but everyone else does. Just because someones cheats doesent mean they dont love their partner, but when someone is sneaking around and then coming home and treating their spouse like they did it, thats what pisses me off. I have had my own experiences with this, not just with being cheated on but I two have strayed. But, I could not stand it and i confessed because i loved him too much to have that between us, and when it came back around I was hurt but we dealt. What I am trying to say is sometimes its not the sex, its the duplicity.
If you really want to know who, just dont ask. Just pay attention and if it walks like a snake and talkes like snake chances are its a really big worm (I like snakes, sorry). Give em enough rope etc. and then tell him that a little sex is nothing (safesex if he loves ya) but it better not be somebody you look every day because that makes him a coward and lazy, have the cahoonas to own up and tell him that you will have the decency to go out of town when you cheat on him (or tell him you had the had to go out of town, that will put a twist on things)
I know how much this hurts but dont react like your expected too, take control.
people cheat for differnt reasons, and usually it has nothing to do with sex, so dont think its something you did or didnt do and if he tries to tell you it is, just tell him his brother didnt think so.

Answer 9

I would be devestated, everything would be lost, however that's the way I would feel, maybe you are different, nobody can tell you how to react, however I am sure that unless you can totally forget about this that the marriage is doomed. You cannot live in the past. Best wishes.

Answer 10

My wife cheated on me. We tried to work it out. It was very hard, I could not trust her anymore. We are now separated and I am starting to feel somewhat happy again. My wife was everything to me. When she cheated she tore my heart out. My advice to you is to get out and start new. Good luck