For a while now my husband to be has had an erectile dysfunction. I know this question has been asked loads of times before but I need to ask it again. He has a psychological block when it comes to sex as he can't hold and erection and also has premature ejaculation. This results in him avoiding sex with me and its getting so bad now that we need to see our GP.
(We have had sex once last november 2006 and before that was March 2005 when our daughter was concieved.) I have a higher sex drive than he does so I need to know what to do to help him get his confidence back. He says he's embarrassed to even talk to me about stuff.
Thanx in advance. We get married on 28th this month and don't want this as an issue anymore.
Dawn.
2007-05-03 23:23:22 · 7 answers · asked by Dawn73 2 in Health ➔ Men's Health
Thanx guys.
My Fiance very rarely helps himself in that department so I think its more psychological. Where would I get a sex therapist that doesn't cost the earth?
Cheers.
2007-05-04 07:07:43 · update #1
Don't think we need any therapy just some TLC and each other. Thankyou for all your replies.
2007-05-04 11:05:14 · update #2
Could be anything causing this but they do say most of it is in the head as it were. Does he have anything on his mind that's been building up these last couple of years. If he's finding it difficult to perform then he's going to be down about that more and more as he's trying but nothing. It's weird how the brain has this effect on erectile problems. However, there could be a physical problem rather than mental.
A sex therapist could help him regain his confidence or you could try some things out yourself like sensual massages and slow masturbation of each other. The trick would be not to make him feel like he has to perform but just fooling around and taking it easy, that mayhelp him. Does he have any problem in masturbating himself when you're not there?
The main thing is don't pressure him as he'll feel worse.
2007-05-04 04:13:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely seek medical help for this. I don't understand the psychological reasons why a man would experience this, especially to this extent. That being said I'm not an expert on this by any means.
Can you at least perform mutual maste\urbation until you seek medical help? There are ways that you can delay ejaculation, one way is called the "squeeze technique". You should look it up.
I've always been with women who had lower sex drives than myself, just the opposite of your situation. So I know how frustrating/disappointing it can be.
Good luck
2007-05-04 10:12:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been suffering from premature ejaculation regularly I'd suggest you visit http://www.goobypls.com/r/rd.asp?gid=565
They teach a very good natural method to solve your problems with ejaulation for good. Absolutely everything you need to know about premature ejaculation, ejaculation control, lasting longer and re-training the ejaculatory reflex is covered there.
Have a nice day
2014-09-13 17:35:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek advise from a sex therapist or a psychologist. Make him feel confident again. Talk to him about it. If he could not get any erection he could use a vibrator or something to pleasure you. He could give you a sensual massage and a long foreplay. It is like lesbian sex with your husband as the lesbian. Who knows this might also help him get an erection. Also do not pressure him to perform. This will surely put him down.
2007-05-04 06:39:16 · answer #4 · answered by PAXson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't think you need a sex therapist. A regular counselor type therapist sees this kind of thing all day. Not really sure how much they cost. Good luck
2007-05-04 15:48:07 · answer #5 · answered by Pencil 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU NEED TO VISIT AN ANDROLOGIST TO CHECK OUT FOR PHYSIOLOGICAL PROBLEMS. IF EVERYTHING IS NORMAL ON THAT FRONT, CONSULT A PSYCHOLOGIST. IT WOULD BE OF GREAT HELP.
AVOID DISCUSSING THIS WITH SELF PROCLAIMED EXPERTS AND RELATIVES ON THIS MATTER AS IT TURNS MATTERS WORST.
ENSURE THAT THERE IS ENOUGH FORE PLAY BEFORE YOU INDULGE IN ACTUAL SEX. TRY HAVING SEX IN DIFFERENT LOCATIONS AS "ROUTINE " MAKES MATTERS WORST. SPICE UP YOUR LIFE WITH SOME EROTIC VIDEOS , STORIES AND LOTS OF FORE PLAY.
2007-05-04 06:30:09 · answer #6 · answered by Abhijit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him your support....tease him i bed...first few session, doesn't have to end with sex..maybe, you can masturbate him, massage him..talk about your or his favourite spot both of you like to touch or massage...kiss him..lick him..just to prolong the hardness..
then..maybe you should see a doctor for advice
2007-05-04 06:32:30 · answer #7 · answered by AndyBalboa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋