can my husband run with my children? please help!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

my husband and i have just split we both agreed we fight too much infront of the children and cant get on and he ended it which i am happy with, but he then changed his mind and started getting nasty to the point the police had to be called by my dad coz he could hear him on the phone anyway he calmed down now and he wants to take the kids to yarmouth for the school holidays to spend some time with them b4 he leaves, so he suggested i go to see my mum in spain while he away which i have booked the tickets but this was all arranged b4 it all kicked off, but i am a bit worried he can run with my children and if he does can i get him for kidnapping them? i cant say no to him taking them coz they his kids too and it would only cause more trouble. help me.

Answer 1

Of course you can kidnap your own children it on the news sometimes about fathers taking there children out of the country without the mothers knowledge. I'm not trying to scare you but you have to be extra careful. Get the details where there staying. Every little detail. Check that your happy with the place. Get a contact number in case you want to check everything is ok. If he is a decent guy and a good father then you have nothing to worry about.

Answer 2

Ok

have you got yourself any legal advice yet? If not do so now you can get some free initially, if you cant afford it look into getting legal aid. Do it now.

I assume you have the kids passports, he can not leave the country with them if you do. You should also look at it from his side. You could take those kids run off to spain and never come back if you wanted. he is trusting you, and you have to trust him.

If he did take them away from you how long do you think it would be before they started crying for mummy. Like you say, they are his kids too and no matter what goes on between you both- he has to want them to be happy as much as you do. At least agree on that. You havent stopped him having access to them, so what reason would he have to suspect that he's not going to be allowed to see them. I could understand you worrying about him running if he has threatened it, or he's actually done it before.

If he has your solicitor will be able to make a case that he should only be allowed supervised access because of that fact. With legal help you could specify officially, when you both agree each can take the kids away, and when he is allowed access. It could be worth your while doing this even if you are on friendly terms because it saves confusion.

whatever you do you must make a regular reliable situation for those children, that's what is most important. By letting him take them away you are being more than reasonable and showing practical evidence that you are making an effort to keep things as normal as possible for those children

S
x

Answer 3

Consider getting the eldest child a cell phone. Make sure he/she know your home and work numbers. Then tell the ex you can't make the trip to Spain due to work. Stay where your kids can reach you.

Also, consider getting the eldest a cell. Just tell Dad that it's so he/she can call anytime they want. Make sure the global positioning feature is on. Teach the child to keep the phone with them at all times. (You can get a cool clip, and he can clip it to his pocket or whatever...so long as he always has it with him.)

Should Daddy decide to bolt, youcan locate your child through the GPS feature on the phone.

Odds are Dad knows about GPS. If the kids are really young you may want to just put a fake panel in the suitcase and stitch the phone in so that the child is not responsible for not losing it.

Answer 4

wel in a way yes,coz on the news recenly a dad took his children 2 iran and the mum had 2 fight 4 her kids coz he was in another country she cldn't do nothing knowing that she is the mum.u'll have 2 go 2 the solicitor 4 advice so that u can get legal action,therefore u'r children r safe with u

Answer 5

Yes he can as this has happened before but it is only you who can decide if he is the kind of guy to do such a thing?

You should contact the right authorities and get a lawyer if u can afford one. Since situation is changed now i think u shouldnt let him alone with kids in a nother country

Answer 6

Do you really think he'd want to deal with your children? It doesn't sound like this is the type of man who even wants to deal with his children. (I'm being smart aleck) if he does take them you'll be free. They'll be off your hands.

In this case I recommed if at all possible you relocate and DO NOT tell him where you are going. In all likelihood he'll find some other lady & start up a second family that he'll abandon in a few years.

Answer 7

What you need to do is sit down and talk to each other and agree NEVER EVER to use the kids against each other. No matter how bad either one of you are hurting or how low you are feeling.

Your kids did not ask to be put in this situation and they do not deserve to be used as pawns by either yourself or your husband. All they want to do is love their mum and their dad and they will be as affected by all of this as yourself and your husband are. They might not show it, but believe me they will be. They will not understand that their parents no longer love each other and the fact that one parent will not be around very much may be hard for them to adjust to.

What you and your husband need to do is to make sure that you both realise your responsibility towards your kids and understand how important it is that you make this split as easy as you possibly can for them. You will only be able to do this by sitting down and talking frankly about the issues you have and agreeing unconditionally that the children come first.

Getting solicitors involved will only lead to conflict and mistrust, which can very easily turn into anger and resentment. I would suggest that you avoid solicitors like the plague and just learn to respect each other. No arguing, no fighting and no talking down to each other. Why would you want your kids to see that anyway. Do you think it will do them any good?

I think it is has become obvious to your husband that walking away from his family is not going to be as easy as he thought it was when he was angry with you for something and his adrenalin was pumping. What he is going through now is a reality check. I think he is begining to realise what he is walking out on. That is the reason for his anger on the phone. He needs to realise that anger will not solve anything, it will only cause more problems and he must learn to control himself. What he is going to need is support and understanding from you, in the same way that sometime in the future you are going to need support and understanding from him. Do you honestly think it is easy bringing up kids on your own? Maybe it is if you don't do it properly but if you do look after your kids properly you will soon find that it is an incredibly difficult thing to do on your own. And do you honestly think that it is easy for a man to have to walk away from his kids? How easy would it be for you?

You have a duty to support each other purely from the point of view of the well being of your children. Your children have a right to love BOTH their parents and a right to receive love from BOTH their parents in return.

The proirity for you and your husband is to ensure that you are able to provide the very best love and support that you can for your children, even when you can't see eye to eye on other matters. A bit of give and take, a bit of understanding and a bit of respect for each other will help you achieve this.

Try to remember that your kids are the result of the love you once had for each other. Maybe that love no longer exists between yourself and your husband but it certainly exists in the hearts and minds of your kids. From your love, came their love. That you couldn't hold on to your love for each other is surely a cause for sadness, but the same love exists in your kids and in them it is unconditional. To harm that would be a tragedy.

If you and your husband can agree to this and agree to respect and protect this, even when the going gets tough. then everything will work out ok. I certainly hope that it does and I wish you both the best of luck.

Answer 8

It depends what does you divorce papers say? You should talk to the police and/or lawyer before he goes anywhere. Also when it comes to your kids who cares how much trouble it causes.

Answer 9

it will depend on whether you were married at the time of the childs birth. if so, he has parental responsability and can take them abroad. keep hold of the kids passports to prevent that from happening and seek good legal advice.

Answer 10

Get him to agree to give you something of his that he values very much, and get this exchange recorded by your solicitor (and if you don't have one, get one). A valuable car would do, or the deeds to property he owns.