shouldi leave my wife? i've been away from her for a month so far.?

Question

my wife of 7 years has a serious anger problem. she's always bitter. she has kids from a previous marriage as do i. i take care of all her kids and mine as well. but she's always pissed off. i've never cheated on her, and i try to give her all that she desires including moral support and affection. i've been nothing but good to her, but she always finds a reason to be angry. one thing in her defense, we usually have very good sex. but she never stays happy for long. we travel extensively (always planned by her and financed by me). the last straw came when i was planning a trip to see a male relative of mine who's like a brother to me. he lives in another state. this would've been the first time i ever travelled w/out her. well, long story short, the night before my flight she packed all my stuff and put it on the curb. i took my stuff and went home ( we both own homes). i went on my trip and had a great time. didn't even miss her. should i return or stay out?

i orgot to mention, though we have kds from different marriages, mine bon't live with us. i pay child support for my own kids to the tune of $1500 a month as well. she works too. when i met her she was a clerk and i put her through school too....twice. i encouraged her to upgrade. i shine ...you shine. today she's a healthcare professional like me. for the person who askeed me if i "burn the candle at both ends". did'nt i mention it was a family member i was going to see? or are you blinded by your own dislike of men it doesn't matter the facts? besides i'm 100% heterosexual. and another thing, everytime we go away
she always finds a reason to be pissed off and start an arguement. she had a crappy upbringing (physical abuse at the hands of her parents and the whole 9 yards). we've been to counseling but she got pissed when the therapist ( a woman, i might add) didn't agree w/ everything she said, and she stopped going.

Answer 1

She definitely has issues, and I applaud your ability to actually put up with that for 7 years. When you get married you are suppose to be starting a life that is better than being alone, and from what you have said, yours is just the opposite.

Why would you even want to go back to living in that hell?

Answer 2

First question I have is - how did your wife MAKE you take that job? Most men won't even take out the garbage when their wives ask. Second question - does your marriage vows or your wife mean anything to you? They didn't state that when a man gets horny and his wife isn't around to take care of business, that it's OK to cheat on his wife. Third and final question - why do people think that their sexual satisfaction is more important than their sacred promise, before God, family and friends, to be faithful and honor the person that they married? A person's word or promise means nothing these days. It used to be what made a person, but not anymore. So think long and hard about what you are thinking of doing. Once the deed is done, there's no taking it back!!

Answer 3

Hmmm, FOR BETTER OR WORSE!!!,
Maybe she is stressed at all the kids she has got to look after, you said all her kids and your kids , so im guessing you have more than 5 together, and you say you have seperate houses and it sound like you have his and hers money...maybe she is not happy at the lifestyle you are living, there could be a thousand reasons that she is angry, she could have depression, some people have it and dont even know it, angry all the time is a good symptom , tell her to go and see a doctor, was she happy when you first got married or has she been angry the whole time, you need to talk to her and discuss it, runnig away from your troubles is not going to solve anything, the longer you leave it the harder it will be on yourselves and the kids!!!

Answer 4

she's ur wife...4 crying out loud go home.
maybe you both needed time away from eachother...hopefully it'll get better when you get back to her.
have you spoken to her as to why she's always so angry ? maybe she's tired or over-whelmed of the daily mundane chores us grown people/parents have to go through on a daily basis.
(remember being a house wife also isn't as easy as others see it...it's not an easy job...I read something this morning about housewives here's a little part and at the end I'll post the entire thing... )

[ The typical mother puts in a 92-hour work week, it said, working 40 hours at base pay and 52 hours overtime.]


if all fails take her to the dr for a check up..it could be "depression" and some meds will fix the problem.

good luck...don't forget tthe flowers when you get back home.
ur luggage at the curb ??? did u ever invite her to go on the trip with you ??? maybe she was upset that you were going alone...i would too. Maybe she needs a little trip alone also with out you or the kids...it would only be fair.

The article I read...
NEW YORK (Reuters) - If the typical stay-at-home mother in the United States were paid for her work as a housekeeper, cook and psychologist among other roles, she would earn $138,095 a year, according to research released on Wednesday.

ADVERTISEMENT

This reflected a 3 percent raise from last year's $134,121, according to Salary.com Inc, Waltham, Massachusetts-based compensation experts.

The 10 jobs listed as comprising a mother's work were housekeeper, cook, day care center teacher, laundry machine operator, van driver, facilities manager, janitor, computer operator, chief executive officer and psychologist, it said.

The typical mother puts in a 92-hour work week, it said, working 40 hours at base pay and 52 hours overtime.

A mother who holds full-time job outside the home would earn an additional $85,939 for the work she does at home, Salary.com.

Last year she would have earned $85,876 for her at-home work, it said.

Salary.com compiled the online responses of 26,000 stay-at-home mothers and 14,000 mothers who also work outside the home.

Answer 5

You shouldn't call it quits so fast. If you been married for 7 years & been able to keep things together that long while she pissed you off, that accounts for something! Sounds like she needs some Anger Management. You need to tell her that her attitude is pushing you away. At least give her another chance to fix & improve herself. Tell her how you feel & ask her what will make her happy & not pissed off any more? ask her what is wrong, why is she always mad? what exactly is causing her to act the way she does? Your her husband. You should help her figure this out & get her out of her state of stress.

Answer 6

Honestly, you are the only one that can make that decision...but, my advice is if you are happier away it may be best for the both of you to be apart. One thing you have to ask yourself: was she this way when you got married or did it gradually get to this point. Marriage is about work and the rewards that you get from each other for your hard work. My final suggestion is to go back and see if the time apart has helped or if things have remained the same. If the cooling off period has not helped then you may need to walk away and let both of you get on with your lives.

Answer 7

do u & her had a mutual friend ?? i mean someone that can be the middleman ?? sometimes it's hard to communicate ur true feeling with ur partner . but an outsider may be able to see a clearer pciture & give a much neutral opinion ??
women are sometimes very complicated & so do men .
perhaps u'd done something that plant the anger seed long time ago without u realising it ??
try to ask a mutual friend to talk to her , to find out what she's really upset about may just point the right derection to solve this problem ??

anyway , good luck ...

Answer 8

She seems she has some deep rooted mental problems, with a chip on her shoulder, and no matter how nice life is she finds something wrong with it.... I would go back and give her an ultimatum either all this needs to change or your done trying... you can only do so much and then its up to her to make that change, and if her kids are young and seeing how she is she doesnt think this will have some type of an effect on them? sure it will....

Answer 9

if i were you i wouldn't go back because she threw you out by putting ur stuff on the curb no matter how mad i was i wouldn't do that to someone so i suggest trying to talk to her but stay separtated see if you can work it out if not then you have to move on but don't get involved with someone else for a long time just live life

Answer 10

Hate to say it but...return to what? If you've been away having a good time for a month and she's been at home with the kids...
Do you love her? If so, try to get her some therapy. She could be depressed. Depression has a nasty habit of manifesting itself as anger.
Good luck.