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have two male roomates they are amazing they work 11.5 hours a day and are hardly ever home. They always put stuff away but its the little things that are bothering me...like having to tell them when to clean and what to clean and how to clean it....when i confront them about it they say yeah whatever needs to be cleaned we will clean. They dont complain about my annoying puppy and never leave anything a complete mess...they just dont wipe the counter or clean the bathroom properly almost ever! I feel like I am being used...should I say something or just continue to clean myself... ps...i do have a compulssive issue with cleaning.

2007-05-03 18:27:18 · 12 answers · asked by AnimalCrossing 1 in Home & Garden Cleaning & Laundry

12 answers

Where women see dirt, men see clean. OK I got my sexist comment out first. But I think its true. They just do not see that its dirty.

If cleaning is so important to you you may want to have that as one your chores. Just make sure they have chores also and there is areasoable balance between them. You do not want to be doing all the work.

And I am not certain if rotating the chores will help. You probably end up telling they need to clean (see my first sentence).

And sometimes we can be obsessive about one thing and miss the bigger picture. Overall your arrangement seems to work out - though why on earth you would want to have two guys as roommates...never mind....

2007-05-06 23:09:00 · answer #1 · answered by paintingj 7 · 0 0

I would check out Flylady.com. It sounds like you are being a little bit of a martyr about the housework.

On the one hand, it's not right that you have to clean up after them, but it sounds like they are pulling their weight in basic cleanliness. If it's perfection you are after, then you will have to be the one to do the finishing touches.

Maybe you should have a meeting, and list the tasks you all agree should be done in each common room (the bathroom, the kitchen and the living room, I'm assuming). If one person feels strongly that X should be done, but no one else cares, then that person should do X for their own personal happiness. Once you list the tasks you all agree on, then you can set up a job schedule.

But I agree with you, this sounds like a great situation, and I'd be very wary of upsetting the boat, too.

There's a great book called "Home Comforts" by Cheryl Mendelson that maybe you could leave lying about for your roomies to check out. (-: She's a little overboard sometimes, but in general she's got great advice.

2007-05-03 18:40:18 · answer #2 · answered by Madame M 7 · 1 0

Their standards are different from yours, obviously. The disconnect is that while you feel used, they are oblivious. So the only one suffering here is you! May I suggest a different approach? I wonder how this would work... try this:

"I feel used when you don't wipe the counter down or clean up the toilet, and this is what I need." Then tell them specifically what you need. Don't apologize for being you or having your needs.

I suspect they don't know that you have such strong feelings. If they learn that you do and then continue, then you have a choice -- you can continue to live with roommates who are willing to let you feel bad, or you can move on.

Don't suffer in silence!

2007-05-03 18:41:04 · answer #3 · answered by CarlisleGirl 6 · 0 0

It's hard living w/ people 'cause figuring out the give & take is complicated & everyone has different standards.

How about hiring a cleaning lady to come in once a week to do the bathroom(s), kitchen floor and other things that you need to be done to a certain standard & splitting the cost 3 ways?

2007-05-03 20:20:28 · answer #4 · answered by Treadstone 7 · 0 0

Divide the chores up and rotate them on a weekly basis. So Bob cleans the bathroom for a week and then you do it. If people have set chores they are more likely to be done. However if it is you that is having the cleaning issues show them how you like it done. Then if they choose to do it that way bonus. If not at least you have a lot less to do than you normally would.

2007-05-03 18:37:29 · answer #5 · answered by mommy102905 3 · 0 0

Well, it depends. Are they cleaning things fairly well, but not up to your standards? If you have really high expectations, you may have to realize that they can't clean as well as you'd like. If that's the case, it's up to you: put up with it and try not to be bothered, or clean it yourself, the way you want. If they are honestly doing a bad job, you could offer to do it with them a few times and subtly show them how it's done, or you could tell them and make a joke out of it so they don't feel patronized.

2007-05-03 18:37:18 · answer #6 · answered by .steph. 1 · 1 0

i was similar in college, and it was much worse, having three male house mates. you should speak your mind, but without being too demanding. cleanliness is important, but other people have other styles or ways of living, and unfair as it is to have to share things with people who don't meet your standards, it's also unfair to expect too much of people.

so maybe you can explain your concerns then come to a fair compromise. maybe you can take turns cleaning, and if a discussed agreement isn't followed, then it's a problem.

2007-05-03 18:35:27 · answer #7 · answered by denimcap 4 · 0 0

You need to chill out. They seem like very nice people who are trying to get along with you.....and YOU expect them to clean up after YOUR puppy. Really think about your attitude.

2007-05-03 18:53:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You should be grateful to have such good room mates, especially men who clean! Don't be so sensitive about these little things, you might drive them to want to move out...If you like things cleaner than they are leaving them, clean it yourself and stop nagging! They sound like really good room mates...

2007-05-04 00:52:48 · answer #9 · answered by Innisfil g 3 · 0 0

they probably won't meet your standards anyway
maybe you could just divide up other chores besides cleaning that they could do to even up the responsibilities

2007-05-03 18:32:28 · answer #10 · answered by justcurious 5 · 0 0

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