This is a very strange situation - I could use LOTS of advice...?

Question

I have recently become disabled through an accident. Now I qualify for Social Security checks. So, I have had to move back in with my mom (I am 21). I never knew my father. In order for me to get the maximum $ ammount / month (like 516.00 $) I will have to claim dependence on my dad. I never met the man, I never talked with him, he never paid ANY child support. He won't loose any of his pension, so it isn't like I am taking cash away from him (even though he owes my mother thousands of $).
Here is my delemia - in August an attorney will be sending him a letter informing him of my claim of dependance. It is really a formality, but suddenly he'll be in my life! He will have my name (I changed my last name), my phone number and address. He wasn't a nice man to my mom. Tat is why she left while pregnant. I don't know how to act! I am trying not to be hopeful that he has changed into a nice guy, and I am trying not to be afraid that he will be creul - I just don't know how to deal w/ this

Should I contact him before the attorney does, what should I say? I already am shocked at the turn of events in my life - He was a deadbeat dad - what will he say to a disabled daughter and an x he hates???

Answer 1

let the attorney contact him
then if he wants to contact you- he can... plus, have your mom file for the THOUSANDS that he owes her!
she deserves that!

Answer 2

wow....i feel sorry for you.....that must be a terrible situation....the only thing i can tell you would be that it is up to your dad if he wants to contact you, he doesnt have to do any favours for you, its the formality of claiming your social security, so i guess what im saying is that if your dad chooses to talk to you you should listen and take what he says to heart, if he cares he will want to see you, if not then its not worth it.
hope that helps!!

Answer 3

first af all get the whole story from your mother. and when i say the story not what she wants you to hear. he may have stayed away because she wouldn't let him see you because he was mean to your mom and maybe she didn't want you to see that. or maybe she was the one who ran from him and he was trying to find you. if he is a good father he will help you any way that he can. i say call him first to let him know that someone will be contacting him, be the bigger person. good luck.