Don't know how to get through to him?

Question

I haven't been able to get through to the ex... we're separated and I know it's for good, I'm moving on. He's not sure about what he wants. He talks about how he misses the kids etc, but we never talk about anything. Just things here and there but nothing concrete, we end up arguing or he'll just blow it off. He's living with his sister and I'll be moving soon because I can't afford to keep living in my current home. Well I have been trying to talk to him as to what's going to happen with the belongings. I've tried to talk to him about a visitation schedule so we can have a routine going. So far it's been a weekly things with the visitations, meaning he'll show up when he wants and well I'm fed up with it. Since we don't get far in talking I wrote him an email. Explained to him that we have some resolved issues and well that I'm tired of the one always having to resolve everything. I feel he just dumps it all on me.

So I make a decision that I feel works best and if he doesn't agree then he'll say that I just want things my way. I'm just really tired of dealing with him. He does want to be a part of the kids lives, he hasn't stopped visiting them. It's just all the other responsibilities etc that he seems to be blowing off. I'm just tired of him blaming me for not getting his way. I've tried to talk to him, sent him an email and he just blows it off. What to do?

Answer 1

watch tv remember hes only a guy

Answer 2

It's quite hard situation especially it envolved kids..I recon if you keep on waiting for your ex to do something, there's nothing will happen (Sounds like your ex is irresponsible- correct me if im wrong..but it sounds like there is no direction if you wait)...you and kids be better which you already made the first step to happiness and freedom..Move on, decide what you think best for you and the kids(The kids will just go with the flow) if he wants to visit the kids good but if not then fine ... that way the kids won't expect and won't get hurt. If your concern is with the belongings and he still wont cooperate then get what you want and useful for you then MOVE ON. He use of dumping all the situation on you and let you resolve it byu yourself then this is the time...Resolve this once and for all..no turning back. DO What you think that is right for you and the kids and everything will follow.

Answer 3

Take This To An Attorney. The Attorney Will Have Some Answers For The Both Of You. It Is Time For Your Ex-Husband To Become A Real Man! Leave Him , And Do Not Think Twice About Leaving Him Behind! He Is Playing TOO Many Games! You Need To Get On With Your Life!

Answer 4

Well you shouldn't feel bad when he complains. He isn't going to take the initiative, so he shouldn't complain when you decide for him. Just tell him when he whines, you had a chance to work it out together and didn't take the time. I think that maybe you should consider filing custody paperwork that outlines exactly the visitation schedule, etc. That way he can't just make his own mind up, it will be clearly written the days and times. If he is willing, maybe you two can hire a paralegal to help with the paperwork. It may save you a lot of frustration in the long run. Also most courts offer free help filling out legal forms. Other than that I can see a lot of headaches in your future.

Answer 5

So stop dealing with him. Obviously with children you can't cut him out of your life completely but with the way that he is acting it's apparent that he's too immature to have an adult relationship with. I don't know why so many people underestimate the power of communication in a relationship!! It's extremely important. Without it a relationship is useless. And fighting does NOT constitute communication. If he is unwilling to talk problems out with you then why should you keep pushing? You're giving and he's taking. Not a symbiotic relationship at all. He needs to grow up. Good luck!

Answer 6

So okay this is how you should deal with this. Get a lawyer that is in your bugget and take him to court and get child support and then the judge will give him certain times that he can have the children. If then this still does not work he will still have to pay the child support and and will not be able to see the children and then if he refuses to pay then he will spend time in jail. Really if he really wants to be immature about it then you should really hit him where it hurts the most. Good Luck

Answer 7

Hard to try to support you two working things out with that side of the story. Does he have another view? Is it valid? If you are correct, it sounds like you should initiate the divorce and have the court settle some of this junk. Then get yourself to a happy place again.

Answer 8

I think that you should keep reminding him that in order for your children to grow up normal, he should step in and keep up his side of the bargain.

Separation is hard for all parties involved. It is better when the children have a clear understanding of what is happening between their parents. And although, you and he can't make it work as a couple, there is no excuse why you can't do what right for your kids.

Answer 9

You need to do things legally since he won't cooperate. Get a lawyer, that well take some of the stress off you.

Answer 10

Set up a visitation schedule and leave things at that. He has issues and only he can overcome them.

Answer 11

Thats just him being immautre.. im sorry that you are going through this. Email is prolly the best way, if he still dosnet respond take it to the next level.?