was dating someone right when i found out my close aunt had terminal illness but i never told him.. i acted real cold towards him and he stayed around 3 monthi guess bc he hoped i'd be how i was at first. he broke up with me bc I basically treated him like crap..i was fine with it bc that was less pressue 4 me. i left him alone.. but when my aunt died i flipped.out and sent him all these crazy texts saying" i wish i would've told you what was wrong..etc.." one probably would've been ok but i sent about 6(crazy as heck i know!!!). a couple weeks later(sounds like a movie, but it's true) another close relatived passed away this time sudden and i flipped out again.. i never experienced losing a close relative b4, let alone 2 back to back.. my girlfriend ran into him and he told my friend that i annoyed the crap out of him with those texts(of course)... it's been a couple months and i'm back to my old self.. do you think if i explained it in person he'd understand?
2007-05-03 14:50:24 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
i didn't explain to him what was going on with my family at the time bc i was in denial and couldn't verbalize it..
2007-05-03 14:50:38 · update #1
Everyone reacts to things differently, whose to say what's normal. The outcome may have been different had you told him what was going on with you, but you didn't, now you have to live with the consequences. The relationship is over, he doesn't feel the same about you, so there is no since in trying to continue to explain things. To him your attempts seem like an excuse and acts of desperation. Basically too little too late. At least now you know the consequences of not being open about your feelings with someone you care about. Use this as a learning experience, next time be open and upfront about your feelings/experiences. A person that cares about you will take the time to understand and help you through it. As for your relationship with this guy, its over, he's not interested anymore, forget about him and move on.
2007-05-03 15:08:28 · answer #1 · answered by ctelly22 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well some people do react differently to negative changes in life. Your reaction, no matter how harsh it was, was your way of coping with the pain.
I think that you shouldn't send anymore text message. However, you should put your thoughts on paper that way you will be able to really think about what you are saying. Then, when the time is right, send him that letter or type it in an email and let it be. If he decides to speak to you, it won't be overnight. You must give him time to heal.
2007-05-03 15:00:47 · answer #2 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, many people are "one chance only" type people. If you cross them or hurt them (which it sounds like you did) it's easier for them to cut you off and simultaneously cut off the possibility for more pain. If he is such a person, there's probably not a lot of good to be done in trying to explain yourself.
You really should think about this too...if he really cared for you, wouldn't he understand once he heard your family members had died? If he REALLY cared for you, wouldn't he be concerned about your well being after such a traumatic event?
You will pull through this...and you have to make a choice whether this will make you bitter or better...the choice is up to you!
titus <>< (1 Peter 5:7)
2007-05-03 15:05:34 · answer #3 · answered by titustheworshipper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might understand. Probably depends if he's found another girl that actually talks to him and includes him in her life. I don't know either of you though, maybe he is immature too, so you may have done the right thing by focussing on family issues (which are more important than some guy you don't talk to). I think you should see if he is even friendly to you anymore, and if so, go for it.
2007-05-03 15:15:12 · answer #4 · answered by Frank 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether your reaction was normal or not isn't really relevant. You were coping with a loss the only way you knew how.
A sincere apology and brief explanation will probably help you more than it will him. Go for it. If he isn't understanding you have lost nothing. He'll still think you're weird, but probably won't go running the moment he sees you.
2007-05-03 15:06:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
r u really sure you are 'back to your old self'? if something stressful to you happened to you again, would you be able to handle it, or would you 'freak out'? you might need to seek the assistance of a therapist to make sure you have really worked through everything you need to work through, before you push this guy even further away than he already is. even so, you might just have to give up on this guy; some things you can't get back.
2007-05-03 14:59:18 · answer #6 · answered by KJC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well yeah first you should apologize for flippin out, then you should explain what happened and all, and when you finish apologize again...if he doesn't understand then he is probably just a jerk anyways.
2007-05-03 15:02:38 · answer #7 · answered by Timotheus is my Roman name (?) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should call and explain in person and see what the reaction is. Just be sincere.
2007-05-03 14:57:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no if he was like that screw him hes not worth it move on...life is a pool of water something happens and it creates many ripple problems with you it was a death then, denial, then freak attacks, then relalization. it is your ripples in life.. i know i sound like a fortune cookie but if he didn't understand then he wont understand now... hope i helped
2007-05-03 15:00:03 · answer #9 · answered by lil_redhead3182 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋