Can a white guy and indian girl get married?

Question

I have a white boyfriend and we have been going out for almost 2yrs now. We both meet in school and we spend nonstop time together, even at work. We have became so involved in each others lives that we don't know how to separate even if we tired. We both feel that we are right for each other; however, my whole family is against it. They would like for me to find someone indian.
Let me tell you more about the past. This guy comes from a family where his parents passed away when he was 9yrs old and was raised by his grandmother. He has gone thru a lot, and all he wants in life is a family to call his own. He is one of the most loving and carring individual I have ever met. My family is a tipcal indian family, but we have no relatives in america. We have a few friends, but no one that we can look for support on.
I am fustrated because of this situtation. I did not go out looking for an white guy, it just happened! All I want to know is should I take my family side, or the person I love?

Answer 1

I wouldn't say to go against your family.I'd say..give your relationship some time..and meanwhile make your family see what a good person he is n why u would be happy with him..make them see what u see in him..believe me your parents would want the best for you..to make sure that in the end U stay happy..time is the best thing that heals things n makes ppl realize alot of things...give it a try..dont lose either ..both are as important...try n reason it out with your family..make them see what u see in him..They love u enough to make sure u r happy...believe in that n give it time..

Answer 2

I say in the end the fact that you are still with him after two years should show you how much you love him. Your parents should know this and be happy that you found someone that you have those feelings for. They may not be happy now but once they see how good you guys are together, they will come around. You just have to get them involved in your relationship with your boyfriend. By doing this you might be surprised that they actually change their minds. The way you speak of this guy he seems like a wonderful person that loves you a lot.

When you say you have few friends, do you mean your family or you and your boyfriend?

I think you are looking at this the wrong way. You ask should I take my family side or the person I love. I think you should be asking yourself should I be with the one I love and who loves me or should I give that up to be with someone my family decides. I think if you dont follow your heart and be with this guy that you love, you will regret it in the end. My cousin was in the same situation and she went with her family. The Indian guy that her family found for her married her, cheated on her, and was very abusive. Now they are strains on both families and they are seperated looking to divorce.

Also is he willing to learn your culture and be involved in things that you enjoy. If so you realize that those kind of guys are hard to find. The loving caring and willing to listen, I wish I could find one :)

Good luck with your future marriage and be confident in your hearts decision. In the end you are the one that will have to live with the guy.

Answer 3

Well you said you are an Indian and he is white American. There is no legal impediment in such a marriage. But there are many differences between the two of you. Race, colour, Religion, Culture, Food, Method of upbringing etc. Indians generally consider marriages as sacred and try to patch up and live togather even if differences arise in their matrimonial life. Whereas the rate of divorce appears to be quite high in American marriages. But this is not to say that such marriages did not succeed in the past. I know of a South Indian girl hailing from an orthodox family married an American 15 years ago and still the marriage is going on beautifully. They met and loved each other in an Indian Classical Music class back in India. I feel that the interest and love of classical music in both of them is acting as the cementing factor. Besides their love for each other is also undiminished during the passage of time. But all Interracial marriages are not so successful in comparison. Therefore every thing depends on the personality, attitude and character of the persons concerned. It is prudent to look before leaping. I understand your plight and sympathise.But what else can i say excepting asking you to pray to God and proceed ahead cautiously. Pray to Shirdi Sai.

Answer 4

Of course you should be the one you love. Your family doesn't have to spend their lives with him if you marry him. My only concern is I don't know how old you are, you say you been going out with him for almost 2 years and that you met in school, so that would make you pretty young.

Life is fickle. Just don't rush into anything, especially if you feel out of feeling if you don't marry him now your family will keep you apart. There is so much more life ahead for you, just take your time. If your love withstands opposition in a few years, then you should definitely marry the one you love.

Answer 5

Your family is an important part of your life. You should take serious consideration to that. If the guy really loves you, then he should try with your help to gain the trust and confidence of your family mambers.
By this I mean he needs to adopt your culture and be in sink with all your family members. This would be taking the traditional Indian food, curry etc.. and also the temple praying and the Indian customs that your traditional Indian family will have.
Once that is done, I am sure your family members will look beyond the clour of skin that he has...

take care...

Answer 6

Wow! You are dealing with customs that run deep in your family. You sound young but old enough to make your own decisions. When you marry, you do marry the family as well and in your situation, there are many barriers to this relationship.
I would suggest that you slow down a bit. Spending "nonstop" time together can get you into trouble. It also will create a distance between you and your family.
You seem to imply that they already know him but have they even met him? Will they allow you to invite him to one of your indian celebrations so that he can show them that he wants to learn their ways? If so, this will begin to break down the walls of prejudice and even, perhaps, they will begin to see him as part of the family. Of couse, he would have to cooperate and want to learn. You could be his teacher and help him to ask the right kinds of questions about your families traditions and stories. This cannot be faked. He must be truly interested. In this way, he will also learn a lot about you as well.
I do wish you well and will be praying for you and the family.
Jim

Answer 7

When you were younger and growing up, you looked to your parents to guide you and protect you. Now you are older and can make your own decisions. You can thank your parents for doing a good job, but let them know you are in love with this guy. If you both want to be married then congrats. If that is what you both want, no body in the world should / can stop you.

Good luck. Have a great night.
Felicia

Answer 8

WHO GIVES A CRAP WHAT ANYONE INCLUDING FAMILY THINK!!!

In this day and age it is hard to find someone like that and that feels the same way about you....if you love each other than everyone else will have to either get used to the idea.....you may never find someone you feel this way about again and regret it for a lifetime...

Try to explain this to your family and let them know you love them and want their approval but that nothing can stand in the way of your love....

Ask them why they would feel so prejudice against another person when the indians have fought for years against being discriminated against....try to get their blessing and if it does not work....go with your heart.

Answer 9

I think you both are in love and able to understand each other well. I will say go for what your heart says and find your own happiness. What is important now is your life if your are happy then slowly your family will accept you. God Bless you both. All the best. Spartan

Answer 10

If your family really love you they wont care about who you can married! As long as your happy thats all that matters! Two people can be happy in life even if they dont come from the same culture, same background, or race! If your family really want you to be happy then they shouldnt care about who you married! You should sit down with your family and your boyfriend and talk about all your feelings! Also try to fix something so that all of you can be happy!

-Estrella