Why do married people have affairs?

Question

Also has it happened to you? If so, what did you do about it? What should be done about it, I mean how to you deal with a situation like that?

Answer 1

It's not true that most affairs are initiated by women (as in a previous answer). Men are just as responsible for their affairs as women are.

Men have affairs to make themselves feel better about their sexuality, and sexual prowness. For men, affairs are physical.

Women have affairs because they do not feel loved and appreciated, or understood by their partners. For women, affairs are emotional.

Having said that, most people have affairs because they are afraid to confront problems in their current relationship. The use the affair to lower the tension that they feel in the relationship. Affairs are also used to force a partner to take an issue seriously. Some people use the affair to find out if they would truely be happier with someone else.

Affairs are devestating to the partner who is cheated on, and it often spells the end of the relationship. The cheated on partner feels humiliated and worthless, and the cheater is consumed with guilt.

If my husband had an affair I would divorce him because I could never trust him again. If I had an affair, I'd expect my husband to divorce me. (If I got to the point of having an affair the marriage would be over anyway).

Couples have survived affairs, but it takes a lot of counseling to move through the damage that an affair causes.

If you are thinking about having an affair, first question what you are not getting in your relationship that you need. Try to solve those problems within your current relationship. If you cannot, then leave before you have an affair. Your self-esteem will be intact.

If you think your partner may be having an affair, confront them about it and get the truth. Then decide whether or not the relationship is worth saving.

Good luck - I hope this helps.

Answer 2

Maybe you should ask the person who is having the affair. Many people have different ideas of marriage, committment, and loyalty. Sexual temptation is a strong physical obstacle and a wedding ring does not subdue hormones, but discipline and dedication can.
Forgiveness is a great way to put the past behind you. I realize an affair seems like a pivotal betrayal. But life has lots of betrayals-try not to magnify this one because you had different expectations than someone else. Try to communicate your feelings clearly and remember, no one is perfect.

Answer 3

They are bored with their marriage. They feel accomplished that they can have two people at the same time without the other knowing and that they are good enough to have two people loving them. The other person is better looking or younger. Different reasons, but mostly all because they think they will feel better about themselves, but actually feel worse in the end because they did something bad or their spouse found out and now they are getting a big fat divorce and have a custody fight over the dis.

Answer 4

Yes, it happen to me, and I was pregnant with twins(we didnt know we were haveing twins, i found out when i delivered them., I found out threw him out, delivered my babies without him he didn't know what I had (which was a boy and a girl) I kept this whole family away and they didn't know either what I had had, and he would send me money orders to help provide for my babies, his parents would go to my parents house and leave money and pampers, and I would send them right back to him/them.I felt if I didn't mean enough to him or that i was pregnant, then he had no busy knowing any thing about them. We met by accident at a friends party and ended up talking again. He did not meet the twins until they were 2 yrs old, he didn't know their names or ever watch any wonderful things they did. He is still paying for it now. It is my way or no way at all. I lost all respect and love for him and when we did get back together I had to learn to love him again. After 20+ years I still don't truly trust him and never will. I think i forgave him but will never forget. we now have a fairly good relationship and he does all the house work, i do the cooking. I did let the twins know about his affair and how he wasn't there for them for two years.

Answer 5

Most of the time married people end up cheaping because they go out looking for someone to listen and understand how they feel. Often married couple don't take the time to listen and share that close bond that they had when dating. They stop being interested in what the other one needs, feel or desires. alot of times the relationship become more about me me me....so the partner turn to an outsider to make them feel better......which end up in bed

Answer 6

I think people get bored with their spouses. Relationships that they originally think are innocent can easily turn into dangerous affairs in seconds. I have not experienced this (thank God). Its up to you & your partner how you handle an affair. I guess you have to ask yourself if you can trust the other person again and if you think it's worth it to keep trying.

Answer 7

Boredom

Answer 8

Yeah men get board very easy by the same girl every night they want to test drive a new car once in a while. Plus women cheat on there partners to probably more they just better at hiding it.

Answer 9

well maby its because they are bord with the same person so they have affairs or maby they just found out they love someone else and the cant aford a divorce or they love them both the same.And i has never happed to me but if it did i would slap that man silly and tell him to get a life then never see him again:) LOL

Answer 10

It hasnt happened to me,
They do it cos there most probably board or they like a bit of excitement and get plesure at the fact that they might get caught, or simply they aint getting what they want from there wife!