I am 16 and I want to have a baby?

Question

I am 16 and my fiance is 19 and we have both decided that we want a baby. He has a job that pays good and I am looking for a job. For schooling I take classes online at pennfoster.com so within another year I will be finished with that. Soon I am going to start Votech classes in auto mechanics. I know what you all are thinking that I'm too young and to wait and that I haven't considered all of the consequences and before anyone says anything about statutory rape I am going to tell you that it is perfectly legal for a 16 year old and a 19 year old in the state of Missouri to be sexually active together. I have thought about the financial part of having a baby and yes I have priced a crib and diapers and formula and the hospital bills. I know that me and my fiance can take care of a baby.

Most of you are saying that this is a declarative statement instead of a question and you're right I should have mentioned that I want to know what you think about it. Also a lot of you are telling me that I haven't considered medicines, doctors, toys, and clothes and I want you all to know that I have considered everything. And I have already started that savings account for a baby as somebody mentioned earlier. I don't consider a baby to be a toy or something that's just around to be adorable. I want this baby because he or she will be there own little person. I'm not worried about all of the parties that I'm going to miss out on. I've already done all of the partying that I want to do. I've done the drinking and the drugs and if I had any second thoughts about that then I wouldn't be trying to bring a baby into this world. I know the difference between right and wrong and I know that I will be a successful mother and this baby will grow up so much better than I did.

Answer 1

What is the rush though? Okay, so you and your fiance want to have a baby. That's great. But why now? You're only 16, would it matter if you had one now or 5 years from now? Why don't you finish school, find a good job and build up savings for your family.

If you really want to do this then go for it if you honestly can financially and emotionally handle having a child. But considering that you still have many years to have kids, why not give it a few years. Do things now that you won't be able to do once you become a mom.

Answer 2

Lets say this, are you ready to pay twice as much for everything for the next 18 - 20 years???

ANd what if you have another within a year or two of the first one's birth? Its more likely that you will have another around that time.

BUt NO, do not have one now! If you are going to do auto mechanic classes, do you really think that you are going to do that very well with a huge stomach in the way, swelled ankles, cramps up the hizah, mood swings, constant need to pee beside other effects.

Then what about after its born, if its just you two, you will never have a night together alone without that child . THats why most people get pregnant again a year later, the child is older, has calmed down, and mom and dad get frisky, since you are apparently sexually active.

You will NOT be able to do things with your friends again, movies will never be the same, the child can not stay quiet for more than half an hour. THey demand your full attention 24 hrs a DAY!
You can't do that with an auto mechanic job.

Shopping won't be the same either, as its just not about a crib, diapers, and formula.
THere are clothes, medicine, bottles, creams, NUMEROUS HOSPITAL VISITS!!, toys, teething toys, car seats, high chairs, remodeling issues, everything you could never think of.
You just don't take the baby home and deal with the hospital that one time. CHeck ups are needed every month! ANd if your child DOES get sick, and they will from something, you will have to deal with that pressure.

Then there are the schooling costs, which will never end.
ANd thus ending up if the future for college costs.
Do you really think that you are able to keep up with all this for 2 children? Always think that you will have 2 children as the national average for children in families is 2.5.

And are your classes online paid for? You will never get the money to pay for needed items if you are still paying off school debits.
ANd what about your home? ARe you renting? OWn a home? Mortgage? Or just living with your parents?
Where is the money for that going to come from if most of your paycheck goes toward paying for your child?

DOn't assume its that easy to care for a child. The things that you want and the things that you crave, movies, candy, friends, certain foods and eateries, will come 2nd to the needs of your child.

Answer 3

Well, I would wait until you have completely finished your education, you say you nearly are, so that is good. If you are in a long term relationship and both financially and emotionally able to raise a baby then thats fair enough...however, what I dont understand is why you both feel that you have to do this now? At age 16 you still have so much to experience, wouldnt you and your boyfriend rather have a few more years of being a couple? Im sorry but it sounds like you are doing it to prove everyone wrong...I dont mean to sound patronizing but I dont think that anyone trully knows what they want at age 16..I am 21 now, and believe me, I am a completely different person than I was when I was 16...I know people can become parents at age 14, 15, 16 and turn out to be amazing mums and dads, but if you have the choice, would you not rather wait? Enjoy your life the two of you for a few more years...you have plenty time! Wait untill you both have a bit more life experience, as this will benifit you and your future child. Good luck whatever you decide! :)

Answer 4

I am glad to hear that you and your fiance have such a good relationship and want to have a baby together, and it's great if you guys think you are financially ready for one and no matter what anyone says on here, it's up to you two to make the decision.

Although my advice is wait, I am not going to be a hypocrite or anything because I am 21, not financially ready, almost 5 months pregnant & doing it alone. But the reason I am saying wait is because before I got pregnant I was having fun. Going out with my friends, living college life, traveling wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted. You and your husband to be can travel without the worry of.."can we afford it?" You two can experience life together...you can still have a baby young, maybe like 18..he'll only be 22. That's just a suggestion....

But like I said I am not going to be a hypocrite, I know having a baby is such a blessing and I am so excited about becoming a mom, if you think you have a great support system and that you two would like to start your family already...than go for it......

Answer 5

What do you want us to say? If you're looking for us to back you up, then I'm sorry, but it's not going to happen. Believe me, you're not ready for a baby. When you are adult, married, HAVE a good job-(not LOOKING for a job), living on your own, and mature enough to be worried as heck about not being able to afford to have a baby, then you'll be ready. You can't even BEGIN to comprehend what you're getting yourself into.
Good luck to you.

ADDITION: You sound like you're a smart girl, and are getting a good plan in place. It's a good start, however, motherhood is still something that you couldn't even begin to understand until you're there, and once you're there, there's no going back. You're stuck through thick and thin for the next 18 years at least. Why don't you compromise and wait 2 more years, until you're 18, and then think about it again? It's only 2 years, which WILL pass in a flash, and it will give you the time you need to finish school, get a good job, solidify your relationship with your fiance even MORE, and save up even more money for the baby. You would only be doing yourself and your baby a favor by sticking it out for just 2 more years. Believe me, I've NEVER heard anyone say that they wish they'd had their children sooner. I've heard PLENTY of people say that they wish they'd waited, though.

Answer 6

While I commend the fact that you seem to be responsible enough to think about the financial part of having a baby... I have to say... 16 is way too young to have a baby.

You have priced cribs, diapers, formulas, hospital bills. That's a start.

Are you ready to have a baby? Are you ready to take on a new little life that is in total need of all of your attention, quite a few times in the middle of the night and all day?
I have a daughter who was born with a cleft lip/palate. She is not 5 years old yet and has had 7 surgeries, and there are many more to come. Are you ready, at your age, to deal with the possiblities of what is to come with a baby?

I'm 39 years old, the mom of an 8 year old son and almost 5 year old daughter. It's a huge thing, being a parent.

Think about it more, sweetie. Don't rush into parenthood. Remember, it's not all about the cuteness of a little baby. It's so much more...

Answer 7

I know that every woman has those feelings, they come and go even as young as you are. But I PROMISE you will feel like you missed out on your youth if you have a baby now. You can always have a baby in a few years. By the way, don't worry about the price of formula, you should breastfeed, it's much better for your baby and for you, and it's free.
Did you know that:


Teen moms spend more of their young adult years as single parents than do women who hold off on having a baby.

A baby born to an unmarried teen mom who doesn't finish high school is 9 times more likely to be poor.

Almost 50% of teens have never thought about how a pregnancy would affect their lives.

Answer 8

HA!!!! Yeah right!! Are you nuts??? I know many couples with Bachelor's Degrees' who have a hard time taking care of a baby financially! How "good" of a job could a person have at 19??? You should REALLY wait! What is the rush? Wouldn't you want to spend time with your significant other before having a baby? Do you have any idea what it cost to have a baby? My friend has a 3 year old and is still paying the $30,000 hospital bill!!!! It is not just diapers, milk, bottles. It is Health insurance, pediatric bills, rent, car insurance, water bill, electric, gas,daycare alone is about $350 wk, phone, groceries, clothing, immunizations, co pays, etc, etc ,etc. The expenses NEVER stop! I am a mom of two and mu husband & I are trying to save to buy a house! IT IS HARD!! You can always have a baby later on... why now?

Answer 9

so what's your question? you seem very set on having a baby - are you looking for some support from this community because perhaps everyone in your life thinks it's not the best thing? trying to justify your feelings by posting this is wrong.

the fact that you're even asking this "question" as a declarative only indicates that you're still way too immature and selfish to be a parent. so, grow up and establish a strong sense of your identity first, then you can think about sharing your life with a little one when you will definitely be more capable of being a better parent.

Answer 10

Please get married before you get pregnant. Evidently, you are already living together and paying all of the bills. If there is enough money left over to cover the great expense of having a baby which includes dr. bills, hospital bills, formula, clothes, day care if you work.

Finish school first. That is the least you can do to act mature about this. I married when I was sixteen. I regretted it even though I waited until I was 21 to have a baby. At 29, he found him a girlfriend. I know this will never happen to you. Be ready to support you and your baby.