Ok...I'll start off by saying I have absolutely no intention or desire to leave/cheat on my husband.
I have two male friends, both of whom I've known for many years (only one I've dated...in high school). Since I've been married however, and I'm also pregnant, these two men have decided to tell me they love me, and one even asked me to marry him. Obviously its made being friends with them awkward it definately makes my husband uncomfortable, as well as myself. I've told my husband I would stop talking to and/or hanging out with the two friends, but he insists he trusts me and its OK to continuing being friends with them. I'm just curious...can any men out there explain what they were thinking in deciding to tell me all this now? I highly doubt it was because they were afraid of being turned down. I just don't get it...
2007-05-03 12:41:00 · 19 answers · asked by ME 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Boy...that's a tough one. Trying to read their minds for you, and for anyone. I'm a man and have a few woman friends. I feel close to them, but we each know that we are married, have our spouses, are JUST friends, etc.
Whatever has been going on between you and these guys must have given them the wrong idea. You may not have done anything "wrong"...it's just guys...we tend to take things differently and view things in a sexual manner.
If you were a guy, they wouldn't be "in love" with you in this way. They would just love ya' as a buddy and slap you on the back. However, I'm assuming you're attractive, and you hang out with these guys. We just see things differently.
Remember the book that was something like "Guys are from Mars, etc..." It's true. We just don't think the same way as women...therefore, what you've said and/or done as a friend, these guys took as something more. Again, you have done nothing wrong...
I've got disagree with your hubby, though. Nothing good can come from hangin' with these guys. If they've been bold enough to say they love and want to marry you...they're not getting the message that you're not interested.
I would NOT hang with these guys again. Tough solution, but they will never get rid of being "hung up" on you.
Good luck "mom"!!!!
2007-05-03 12:52:35 · answer #1 · answered by mhcgjl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Selfish losers.
A good male friend would make sure that he didn't interfere with your relationship with your husband if he truly cared about your happiness. I have discontinued contact with ex girlfriends that I really liked and cared about, because I knew I was a problem in the eyes of their new husbands.
Your so called friends really need to be out of your life. And it is a good thing your husband is so secure and understanding. Your need to repay his trust by giving those two zeros the boot.
2007-05-03 19:51:18 · answer #2 · answered by ninebadthings 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you a natural flirt? That doesn't mean you intend to do anything about it, but they could be getting mixed messages which you've unintentionally put out there.
If you truly value them as friends, ask them if they got the wrong idea but definitely tell them that it's completely unacceptable to proposition you in that way. If they ignore that line in the sand, then they really are jerks and you should have nothing more to do with them.
2007-05-03 20:45:14 · answer #3 · answered by Perran 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have absolutely no idea...I would DEFINATELY have a problem w/ guys saying that to my woman. Like I kick their butt and tell them to hit the road. I don't get it either. They must think you're easy or something or that you would dump you husband f/them...I don't know...
2007-05-03 22:35:35 · answer #4 · answered by prouddaddy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They might always have loved you - and if you carry a "glow" about you, now that you are expecting, they might find you quite irresistible.
You are better off to break off contact with them though. Emotions can run quite high and quite deep sometimes and you don't want to put into risk your current relationship.
2007-05-03 19:45:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
They just want to have sex with you...and then leave the responsibilities to your husband to clean out the ****....
Come on be serious.... you married and still engage in such talks with other man?..
take care
2007-05-03 22:10:33 · answer #6 · answered by trymejames 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, kudos to your husband for being mature about the whole thing, and not a jealous fool! Second, perhaps your "friends" are just being selfish. Or maybe they think they can "convince" you to run away from the obviously good relationship you're in now. Who really knows how men think!
2007-05-03 19:45:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
these "men" are incredibly immature... putting their own weird desire to tell you these things...a married woman... ahead of your life with your hubby and expectant child...
If you truly love your husband, and if he truly loves you, I very strongly suggest you break off the friendships with the other two idiots
2007-05-03 19:47:15 · answer #8 · answered by michael 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why would u want( married and preg) be hanging out w. a guy that ask u to marry him(even tho knowin that ur rdy married?) seriously...get away from those "guys" . do u think they only want ur friendship...ur preg. and married for godsake.
2007-05-03 19:45:18 · answer #9 · answered by Just_Me 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well if u have had intimacy with them in the past and still hold on to them as friends even after married ,if i was your husband i would have big ?,
2007-05-03 19:44:21 · answer #10 · answered by reifguy 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋