Ok here it is My husband has a son that just turned one today and we have a 4 month old and another one on the way. I love my husband but because of his stupid a$$ ex he has not seen his son since Jan. Well anyways his birthday party was this last Saturday and she went behind our backs and invited his whole family and is trying to be involoved with his family well ours since I am married to him.How should i feel about that? Shouldn't his family love and support me since I am the one that is married to him and the one that he loves? Also how should I feel since as soon as him and I broke up once before we got married and worked stuff out his ex called and asked to marry him and live with him and be with him. How do i know who he really loves and wants to be with? I do not want him to have contact with here since I know that this is going on and in our marriage vows it states that you forskae all others. Please help?
2007-05-03 12:08:48 · 8 answers · asked by kmylander03 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok first off the ex was never his wife it was a one night stand so get that straight. And us having another baby is not the fact. We can if we want we know how to raise children My son is very well loved and taken care of. So no I am not going to get my tubes tied.
2007-05-03 12:23:03 · update #1
This woman should not be invited to family functions if she is still trying to get together with your husband. You're his wife and you must come before her. I can understand that he would want a relationship with his son and thats normal and should be encouraged but this woman does not need to be a part of your life for that to happen. Tell him how you feel and together work out the best way to approach it.
2007-05-03 12:13:17 · answer #1 · answered by Em 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the fact of the matter is this the inlaws obviously have a relationship with the ex and there's nothing you can do a/b this at all. they may even resent you as an anteloper. now i don't know if you were the cause of the break up in the marriage or not but it seems that way to me since the kid is just turning 1 and you have an infant,but i'm not judging you by the way but if this is the case then you honestly have to see where everyone else is coming from. the only person you need to worry a/b is your hubby. he is what matters and no one else. if the ex want's to be a b*tch let her it's not your problem. but i were you and the old man he can file for visitation rights w/the court and if there isn't an order for child support he should step up and voulunteer to do this b/c it is his kid and then she has no ground to fight the visitation. make sure that he has recipts for everything he buys the child so he has proof of his involvemrnt in providing for his son. just hang in there. it won't be easy but if you have a strong marriage it will survive despite those against you. always communicate your feelings to your spouse and most importantly trust him unless he's given a reason not to. he can't control what she says or does,but he can control himself. and if he truly loves and respects the family he has now then you have nothing to worry a/b but also remember what comes around goes around. ps always keep the child in mind b/c he's the innocent one you're all adults.
hold up who are you people to tell someone when and many kids to have. if she's married and can afford it she can have as many babies and when she wants to. are you taking care of them or her family? no then my your Fn business at least it's w/her husband not 2 or 3 different men like most of these nasty girls out here get a grip. when you start paying her bills then you can say somthing. girl i got your back.
2007-05-03 19:27:18 · answer #2 · answered by sexkitten 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a mess. First off, why did he and his first wife break up? Was it your fault? He sounds like a player. Why are you having a baby so soon after you just had one? Why is he having so many children so close together? He needs a reality check here. What's going to happen when all three of these children are in college at the same time? You have to accept the fact that the ex is going to be in his life, just because they have a child together. They will always have that tie, and nothing you say or do will ever change that. It sounds like you all three need to grow up and realize that while this is hard on you three now, imagine what it's going to be like in 4-5-6 years from now, and all these children are put in the middle. Do yourself a favor and get your tubes tied. This is ridiculous what you all are doing to these poor helpless children. And yes, it's fine to invite the grandparents over for the child's birthday party. Who are you to say who can go where. They have brains and can choose to do whatever the hell they want.
2007-05-03 19:18:20 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
We are going through a very similar situation. My grandson turned 1 in Feb. His father, my son, does not try to see him at all because it upsets his married to someone else, hateful live-in. (They also just had a baby of their own and he is 6 months old. ) Because his youngest son's mother is always picking fights with his eldest child's mother, which is a girl, no one in our whole family thinks it is a good idea for the 2nd mother to let him see his son. He is always with our family and his mother is just as sweet as can be. The same as with his daughter.
We all try to keep those relationships separate, and when my son and his skank don't like, it is tough. I told him if he wants everyone to butt out, stop making babies he don't want to see.
Have you both let it come down to the same??
2007-05-03 19:29:02 · answer #4 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should've discussed that before marriage and you should begin setting some grounds rules immediately. But first, tell him this is destroying you (emphasize that or he won't take you seriously- men are generally emotionally-dense) and what he plans to do about it. You both have infants to worry about so unless he minimizes contact with ex (not counting when they meet to swap custody of the boy), this will cause an unharmonious family life for the both of you in the years ahead.
2007-05-03 19:16:33 · answer #5 · answered by SloBoMo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This woman sounds like trouble and his family is sorry as hell for fooling with her. My hubby talks and hangs around his x and this woman is crazy she has put us throught hell. His mom says she does it for her grand kids but the other day my kid had problem at school (she works there) and his x took her home she tells her never even called up his x called to tell us all about it. I went off. If you feel threatend make sure you hubby know how you feel. If he can't see the kid he need not have contact with her. Unless its through a lawyer. Follow your instints and watch your back.
2007-05-03 22:20:51 · answer #6 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's not much you can do on your own, hon. You have to have a talk with your husband, explain exactly how all this makes you feel--without making accusations or getting angry--and ask him to deal with it.
2007-05-03 19:15:27 · answer #7 · answered by Alice K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should have thought about all this before agreeing to marry him. you knew the ex would be a part of your lives forever
2007-05-03 19:24:10 · answer #8 · answered by Ghanaian Princess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋