I am 26 and was involved with a 34 year old man from Italy in a long-distance relationship. We met about two years ago and last summer began our relationship. We had been good friends up to that point and his mother and I have always been close (she introduced us).
I went to see him for New Year's and he proposed marriage. I was thrilled, believe me. Well, he gave me a ring and when I got back to the US, the stone fell out twice. He told me he spent 300 Euros on it; naturally, I was hysterical.
When I got to the jeweler, they refused to repair it. Why? Because it was only worth $20. I called him to tell him I knew the truth but the phone line cut. This was Feb. 8 and we have not spoken since-- he won't answer the phone.
I have spoken to his mom several times, even today. She said he said he thought I thought all he wanted me for was US citizenship-- NOT true. He also thought I got it appraised on purpose-- NOT true. She says "if they are flowers, they'll bloom." What do you think?
2007-05-03 11:24:15 · 14 answers · asked by Windflowers03 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am going to be honest... I don't know if I can move on.... I am devestated... :-(
2007-05-03 11:31:42 · update #1
I never cared about the ring's value-- but the significance-- absolutely! He said he told me 300 E as a joke. I even told him before he gave it to me that the significance was the most powerful thing-- that he could spend a penny for all I cared. Sigh....
2007-05-03 11:41:47 · update #2
It's time to move on. If he won't even talk to you on the phone, how are you going to get married. He obviously has major trust issues that you are not going to be able to deal with. It's better to find these things out now than after the wedding.
2007-05-03 11:30:32 · answer #1 · answered by e_imommy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The quality of the ring is not the issue here. Maybe he couldn't afford a nice ring.
The issue is he hasn't spoken to you in more than 2 months. Doesn't sound like a fiance to me. I know it hurts, but it's better to end things before the vows are spoken. If it is truly meant to be, you may meet again once he does some obviously needed growing up. Otherwise, consider yourself single and available and Mr. Right will come along some day. The most important relationship you can have is with yourself. Love and value yourself, and demand that whoever else loves you treats you with dignity and respect. If you don't have that, you don't have any relationship worth having.
2007-05-03 11:35:16 · answer #2 · answered by KJS71 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there. Done that exactly and him disappearing devastated me. Move on and let your heart heal. Find a nice guy here in the US. That's what I did. Now I come home to a man in the flesh instead of a man on webcam. Besides, if he can't afford a better ring he sure as hell can't afford immigration and naturalization. I know it hurts but you will find love again. I promise you. Let him go.
2007-05-03 11:43:14 · answer #3 · answered by Angel of Light 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is devastating, and I'm sorry. Something similar happened to me. However, if I were you, I'd consider myself VERY lucky and call this a close call. This guy is a loser and a fake and at best is leading a double life. You need to move on, as hard as it is, and don't give him another thought. Anyone who loves someone would not treat them like this!! Embarrassment from a cheap ring isn't something you just stop talking to your future wife for.
2007-05-03 11:41:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably really embarrased about the ring. He may have spent 300 Euros on it and been taken for a ride. Most men don' t pretend to know about jewelry. When you called him out on it, to him it may sound like you're more interested in the value of the ring (i.e. money hungry) than what the ring stands for (i.e. I want to be with you forever).
2007-05-03 11:37:22 · answer #5 · answered by Zeltar 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is probably really, really embarrassed about the ring situation. I know I would be. He probably wanted to give you a beautiful ring, but just couldn't afford it. If you want to try to salvage the relationship, maybe send him a message through his mother that you don't care about the ring, you care about him and that you just want to talk to him. If he's still not willing to talk to you then perhaps you let him be and move on.
2007-05-03 11:32:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think he is a looser and a lier. He used you for sex. He is giving his mother an excuse and trying to blame it all on you. The phone line didn't 'cut,' he hung up on you. Forget about him. Stop talking to his mother period. Find a real, honest, grown up man! "if they are flowers they will bloom," basically means that plastic UNREAL flowers don't bloom, just as UNREAL love doesn't bloom.
2007-05-03 11:31:42 · answer #7 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you do get back together you should talk about your plans if you get married where you should live if he says US right away then you know he is just marring you for citizenship!! does he work or have money ? or do you have money that he may think your rich and be marring you for that? If i were you I'd be careful.
2007-05-03 11:52:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get rid of the goof that buys his engagement rings from the dollar store!!!
he went to all that trouble to make a fool out of you, for what ever his motives may have been!
you don't need a bum like that regardless of what his mother says.
2007-05-03 11:53:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that sucks, pawn the ring and use the money to chase him down
2007-05-03 12:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by kc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋