Im a single guy, recently divorced, and have been introduced to the world of swinging clubs. I now worry that sex with just one woman will not be satisfying and am worried I have spoilt myself and am too corrupted to have a normal relationship. Has anyone else been in this situation?
2007-05-03 10:45:41 · 11 answers · asked by RubbingRhubarb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's too bad you didn't get some experience with swinging while you were married. I think one of the reasons that married couples have difficulty finding single playmates who are able to handle the lifestyle is because they don't - or can't - relate to it the same way that a couple does. When a couple swings, they are risking something very significant. A single person has no relationship to lose by swinging, and for them, there is nothing more to it than some interesting sex. For the single, it truly IS a hollow activity. They don't get the benefit of the sharing or the closeness that results from putting your trust in someone else, and having them put their trust in you.
If you believe that you have spoilt yourself, then you already have. You will need to change your beliefs about sex and love and how they are (and are NOT) related if you hope to successfully incorporate recreational sex into your life. You'll need to deeply consider what you think a truly "normal" relationship is. If you don't think any seriously married couple has any business swinging, you don't have any business in it either. If you harbour any feelings of guilt or wrongdoing about having sex without the promise of love, you should definitely stop swinging. You definitely need to be able to this with a clean conscience; otherwise it really is as unhealthy as the nay-sayers tell us it is. Until you work that out for yourself, you'll find it to be an unfulfilling experience.
Please see the website below. There is a forum on there devoted to singles and swinging, and there are several well-respected single men there who offer their perspectives and advice. It's a great resource. Best of luck to you.
2007-05-03 14:11:46 · answer #1 · answered by intuition897 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if it's only ever been the physical side of being with another person that's interested you, stick to swinging because you never will have a normal relationship.
But if there's more to relationships than the physical for you, then eventually you'll get bored with the shallow gratification available at the swinging clubs and start looking for something a bit more substantial.
2007-05-03 17:54:48 · answer #2 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have just clearly defined your feelings toward sex and love, and you now know that the two are not the same, that there is sex with someone you love, and sex with someone you don't, and they both mean totally different things.
You just need to find a woman who has the same ideas about sex, love, and relationships and wants to explore it more with you. I know they are out there, I've seen some single guy friends of ours find love with women that are as open-minded as they are.
2007-05-04 13:45:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I haven't but I think you have a reason to worry. Young men generally like exploring their masculinity by having sex with as many women as possible, You eventually get to a stage where you realise that you don't need to explore any further and you settle down with one woman. This is mainly 'cos they come to a stage where they realise that there is more to love than sex alone and that every body has that special some one that can provide this kind of love. So if you get to a stage where you find it ok having sex with multiple partners then there is trouble.
2007-05-03 18:08:47 · answer #4 · answered by Sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes...and have been in the life for 20 years and never got bored with it...variety is the spice of life......
2007-05-03 17:54:48 · answer #5 · answered by JoyDivision 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Try to spend more time on earning money. It helps a lot)
2007-05-03 17:50:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
no but you may soon tire of this and decide when it is time to find a soul mate friend and partner for life
2007-05-03 17:55:39 · answer #7 · answered by susan will of the wisp 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
then just stick to the swinging
2007-05-03 18:26:48 · answer #8 · answered by debbie v 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Continue rubbing rubarb and enjoy .
2007-05-03 18:21:13 · answer #9 · answered by badass-mofu 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
no never been in that deep water
2007-05-07 16:29:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋