Best piece of advice you can give that you didnt know until you became a mom?

Question

Im due with my 1st anytime now actually May21 but Ive begun dilating/thinning already. Im just relishing these last days without a newborn sleeping, watching tv, relaxing...what have you learned about newborns since you've had one that no one told you or that you think is helpful. Thanks.

Answer 1

Know one knows your child like you. Just because your mother says you slept best after a bath in water with lemon grass doesn't mean your baby will. Take a little weekend trip with your husband while you still can!

Answer 2

Congrats!! Well, it's hard. Don't know if anybody has told you that yet, but it's true. I'm a single mother, so it's a little harder for me. They are worth it, though. I wouldn't give my daughter up for the world. Um, you can never be prepared. It doesn't matter what anybody tells you, you won't understand until it happens. Hmm, some advice: Instead of relishing the chance to sleep, start depriving yourself now. Honestly. If you aren't used to getting very much, hopefully you won't miss it when the baby comes. :) Also, try to get into a routine now. Baby's need routine. I was told that, but my life has always been so hectic, I didn't know what a routine was. She was probably six months old by the time we had a semi-set schedule.
Another thing to remember is that you are the mother! Go with your instincts. Always listen to advice, but remember that you don't have to take it! Do what you think is right.
Oh, and a friend of mine is going through this now. All children progress differently. Don't feel bad if your baby isn't doing as much as somebody else's baby. My friend was in tears because somebody told her that her baby was probably retarted because she wasn't crawling by six months! Don't listen people when they say things like that.
Love your baby. It will be enough. (Well, you might want to feed it once in a while, too. :D )
Good luck and congrats again!

Answer 3

When I was pregnant I spent a lot of time reading about pregnancy and delivery and not nearly enough time actually thinking about what it would be like to have the baby. If I could go back I would really read more about babies sleep patterns and sit down and think about how I wanted to teach her to sleep well. Instead, I ended up getting in the 'trap' of nursing her to sleep in bed and have had a hard time getting her to sleep independently and without nursing to sleep. In the early days of motherhood, exhaustion takes over and you do whatever you can to make it from one day to the next. Having never really stopped to think about the issue of sleep, I didn't really have any tricks in my back pocket to help me through this tiring time. I love my 9 month old to bits but she still wakes up every 2 or 3 hours and most days I daydream about what it would be like if I had tried to do something about her poor sleeping patterns when she was a newborn. While we make progress each and every day on this front, I hear of some mothers who have babies who sleep so well and I feel so jealous (although I am sure they don't sleep as well as they say they do!)
Hope this is helpful. Really most of it is all 'on the job training' if you know what I mean. Loving your baby comes so easily and thus everything else seems to fall into place.

Answer 4

There are several things I'd like to pass on to you.

1. Be prepared to sacrifice everything, even a trip to the bathroom or a nice relaxing shower, up to the first three months, for the sake of caring for your newborn. The three month period after birth is typically called "the fourth trimester". The post-delivery aches with possible swelling may still be present for weeks after birth. You may even be medicated with painkillers. Its okay to go without a shower and wear the same clothes for days. But buy some thick, "Depends®"-type feminine pads for the after-birth - you'll be wearing them for a few months.

2. Ask your mom, your hubby, or a kind relative or neighbor to cook meals, clean dishes and the house, and wash clothes for you. Your focus should be on taking care of the needs of your newborn, not cleaning out toilets. Don't be afraid to ask for help from anyone.

3. Sleep when your baby sleeps! No explanation needed here. My mom told me this prior to having my 2 kids.

4. Have a humidifier ready to loosen lodged mucus draining from the baby's new sinuses (remember the baby was floating around in fluid, now suddenly she/he has to breath with new sinus equipment!).

5. Keep lots of bottled water handy for you - especially if you plan on breastfeeding.

6. Buy disposable breast pads, to insert in your nursing bra, if you plan on breastfeeding.

7. The first months will be a blur and you may be bombarded with requests by relatives/friends to visit and socialize. Hold off on the social engagements until your baby gets her first full round of immunizations (approx 6-8 weeks).

Good luck! In the meantime, rest and have a date or two with hubby!

Answer 5

Newborns don't do a whole lot for the first month or two. That is your time to rest, take it easy and bond with your baby. Breastfeeding can be a real challenge, but don't give up if it's hard. Get a good lactation consultant to come and help you. It's the best thing I ever did.

Answer 6

Congratulations! Have a good baby reference book handy, (I love the Dr. Sears' "The Baby Book") and also try to journal as much as you can because the time really does go by so quickly-someday you're bound to want to reminisce about the experience of raising your newborn and it is so easy to forget that phase when you're caught up in chasing that precious little ball of energy around the house.
Best of luck for a smooth delivery and recovery!

Answer 7

A friend of mine always says "everything takes 20 minutes". While you're in it seems like it takes forever (teething, not getting a good nights sleep, your sex life being on hold or heavily down prioritized, etc.), but looking back all the firsts and stages of your child's life will seem like it only lasted 20 minutes.

So stop and treasure the little things, they're over in a blink of an eye :-) And remember you didn't stop being a wife just because you became a mother (THAT's a slippery slope!!!)

Answer 8

--Your goal is to survive the first three months with your sanity and the baby intact. All advice you get from anyone (myself included) is subservient to that. If you can make it through the first three months, it starts getting easier. Why? Your body has started to recover, your hormones are starting to regulate (usually), the baby MAY be sleeping through the night, and the baby has probably started smiling at you.

--My kids cried less on a schedule. I don't know if this is true for every child, but it was definitely true for mine.

--IGNORE ALL ADVICE if it doesn't work for you and your child. Most advice is based on people's personal experience. Every child, parent and set of circumstances is different. What will work for me may not work for you.

Congrats!

Answer 9

New mother syndrome is all in your head- thinking that only you know how to hold baby right or that only you have been through all of this before. Let those who care about you help you out and give you advice (but use judgement when taking it!). Also everything doesn't have to be perfect all of the time!

Answer 10

When you are going through a stage that seems to take forever, one day it will seem like no time at all. Cherish those stages even if they suck at times. They will be over one day. And you will miss them. But there's always more to come. While they may be telling you what to watch on TV, there are still plenty of milestones.