Would you have a long distance relationship with a 25 man whom still lived at home with his parents, works at a fitness gym as a personal trainer(for two years) but never has any money, but he's taken on a job as a drummer for a restaruant for extra money, hangs out on myspace all the time, has been at a junior college for four years and yet still isn't half way finished to getting his A.A. Degree.I know it's totally up too me and I know that, but I have a degree,and I have money, but I don't see us really balancing each other .what do you think
2007-05-03 09:44:06 · 11 answers · asked by Drea B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Run the other way. Not to be rude, but I can't believe you have to ask about this. It isn't any one particular thing that you mentioned, it's just that it's all of those things together! Be careful and good luck!!!
2007-05-03 09:51:15 · answer #1 · answered by higherlovetx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact is you already know the answer.
Balance is important in a marriage but it doesn't necessarily mean 50/50. It means whatever your both are comfortable with. And, by the way you've worded your question you are obviously not comfortable with what you have now. Nor are you comfortable with what you see your future might be.
In my humble opinion you have two choices. First, you could talk with him and tell him that you feel uncomfortable with this disparity between your current lifestyles, motivations and goals. Or, you could look to his parents to see what they are like and if that matches your expectations hope for the best.
From experience, the acorn really doesn't fall far from the tree. But it may take you quite a while before he achieves that. And, he may achieve that on the back of your effort. Depending on how far you want this relationship to go and how old you are I'd consider dating multiple people close to home.
2007-05-03 17:36:05 · answer #2 · answered by dan_phillips25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage isn't just about love.
Marriage is about spending the rest of your life together. I think you two do not have the same values and wants out of life. You probably want a larger house, more things for your home and family, trips; while he's ok with little. That won't balance out, I promise.
I think you two should talk about marriage first and what you two want out of life. If he wants the nice things as well, ask him how he plans to afford that. Ask him if he knows what he plans to do after his AA.
And I'll let you in on something, an AA doesn't do JACK SH*T now a days. You have to find a better job. What about health insurance? Does he even have that?
If you want kids, imagine trying to do that on his income.
What about retirement?
See, you shouldn't ever love *the idea* of a man. You must love him for who he is. And if this man, right now, in this moment in time, is someone you are unsure about marrying (it sounds like it, or you wouldn't be on here asking this question listing all the qualities you think make him not marriage material) then you should not take the stroll down the asile.
If you are considering that because of your "life schedule" and you want to get married... ask yourself if you want to get married or you want to get married to this man.
If its the former, then you should cut loose now and find someone suitable. And I know how frustrating that must sound, because then you have to date all over again and get to know someone, what if you don't get along, then wait and wait and then it will be another year before the possibility of marriage.
Is another year not worth avoiding a life time of misery?
You know that the NUMBER ONE thing couples fight about is money?
If you have uncertainties at all, don't marry him.
2007-05-03 16:53:09 · answer #3 · answered by HE'S NOT INTO ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it yourself....you don't see the two of you really balancing each other... sounds like you are saying marrying him would be a mistake. I think you are right. Concentrate on getting your career going and find someone dependable.
2007-05-03 20:48:29 · answer #4 · answered by susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't have any relationship with a guy (not a man yet) like that, let alone one long distance. He's pretty much not grown up yet.
2007-05-03 17:11:40 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm, the fact that your asking strangers to recommend your man to you speaks volumes.
I'd suggest you already know the answer?
Sorry, I wish I could be more positive, but I thinks it's better to be honest.
Good luck to you.
2007-05-03 16:52:14 · answer #6 · answered by toowit2wu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you ready to support him? If he is just getting by at his parents for this long how are you going to change him?
2007-05-03 16:49:58 · answer #7 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder....
2007-05-03 16:48:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He sounds too immature for you.
2007-05-03 16:50:22 · answer #9 · answered by whitexsaucer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, run away
2007-05-03 16:51:45 · answer #10 · answered by BigDaddy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋