I am totally comfortable leaving my 8 month old with my parents, but not so comfortable leaving him with my husbands parents. My husbands mother has MS & is not so stable. They get real upset when we won't leave the baby with them. My husband feels the same as me. What should we do?
2007-05-03 09:22:15 · 16 answers · asked by April C 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I hate leaving my baby with anyone including my parents. She is a lot younger than your baby so Im having a seperation problem. I defintly wont let my mother in law watch her cause shes got medical problems and depression and she takes all kinds of pills and wrecked a car recently.
2007-05-03 09:31:32 · answer #1 · answered by Mom to Isobelle 2, & Gavyn 8mths 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your gut instinct, it's always right.
I worry, constantly, about this. Aidan's leg was broken when he was 7 months old and in home child care, he wasn't even crawling yet (he didn't start until he had his cast on). The lady never would admit to knowing what happened, the state charged her with neglect and took away her license. Criminal charges were filed too but we never had any real closure.
I'm in no way implying anything like this would ever happen to your son while he's in their care, I'm just explaining why I worry so much about this type of thing. If I had gone with my motherly instinct with the "something's not right" vibe I started getting just 3 days before this occured, it would have never happened... and now I have to live with that for the rest of my life.
My husband has been unemployed for 2 months and no one seems to comprehend WHY I'm still paying $100/ week for child care. If I pulled him out now and put him back in when my husband starts working again we would be on a waiting list and he may or may not be able to get back into the church daycare he is in now (high demand). Basicly, I've found someone I trust and I don't want to start all over. I still go there and check on him, usually to the office so that I can watch the cameras so that he doesn't see me and get upset.
Other than his daycare that I trust and my parents, I, still, to this day can not leave him in someone else's care.
I think as hard as it would be, you need to talk to them and explain how you and your husband feel. Stress that it's not only them, but anyone. They, too, had a small baby at one time and will probably understand better than you think they will.
Good luck!
2007-05-04 10:24:22 · answer #2 · answered by Nina Lee 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave the baby with whom ever you are comfortable with. With regards to your husbands parents. Try to visit them with the baby more often (if you can handle that); and maybe leave them alone for short periods; ie you and your husband going for a walk, or running quick errands. That way, they still see their grandchild and have lots of short visits alone with the baby.. You don't say how advanced your MIL's MS is. She may only be able to handle short visits. But if you visit often, you can judge how capable she is at handling the baby alone. If something goes wrong, that would be your reason why you don't feel comfortable leaving baby with them.. Good luck
2007-05-03 16:53:32 · answer #3 · answered by Pandora 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely only do what you feel comfortable doing. Maybe just try to make an effort to go visit them a little more often so they don't feel left out and maybe once he/she gets older, like 2-3-4, you will feel comfortable then. Your baby is still so tiny and is going to need all the help he/she can get until it's old enough to have less supervision. For the next couple years it need all eyes (and the ability to move FAST) on him/her at all times!
2007-05-03 16:32:21 · answer #4 · answered by alexandria1_1999 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that's how you and your husband feel then don't let it get you down. Your instincts must be right on this one. For a young baby you need to have a sitter that's really on top of things. MS can be debilitating in many ways and limit a person's activities.
Maybe you could try to explain this to his parents as nicely and gently as you can, and make an effort to visit them more with the baby.
2007-05-03 16:27:58 · answer #5 · answered by Veritas 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I understand your concern, but I'm sure your mother adn father-in-law would never put the baby at risk. Try trusting them to make the correct decisions about how to care for the baby. Maybe leave your baby with them for an hour and see how it goes and then up the ante little by little. It's okay to be overprotective though, and if this is somethign you just don't feel comfortable with, then don't.
2007-05-03 16:29:13 · answer #6 · answered by poohb2878 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your baby and I would as gently as possible explain the reasoning behind the way you feel That you don't want to put added stress on your MIL and that babies are alot of work. But if she raised you husband with no problem maybe you could visit for a day and see how she does with you there.
2007-05-03 16:31:17 · answer #7 · answered by suann47 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same here.
My wife and I have a 2.5 year old little girl, and a 8 month old baby boy.
My parents watch them on Mondays and Wednesdays while both of us work. I am completely comfortable with them, but when they go to my wife's parents I am scared to death.
2007-05-03 16:29:01 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Indignant 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your baby and don't leave your baby anywhere you don't feel comfortable. You have to protect that child and right now they have to understand that they are physically incapable of fully taking care of a child and giving him everything that he needs!
2007-05-03 16:29:58 · answer #9 · answered by I smile because of them ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should politely explian to them how you feel. I understand why you would be worried. Trytoexplain tothem that you feel with her illness being unstable you justaren't comfortable leaving them alone with you child. They will probably get angry but they will get over it. Good Luck!
2007-05-03 16:33:00 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋