Why do I keep getting pulled back into the situation?

Question

My ex-husband moved due to job reasons and left our child with his mother. She is turning 15 tomorrow. I went to stay with her and could not adjust because I was staying in my ex-husband's house and my mother-in-law was interfering.

Well, now my ex-husband has accused me of taking things from his house even though I did not.

He is also telling me to come back and stay in his house until our daughter graduates from high school. He has had several offers on the home, but has not accepted them.

He is very worried about our child as I am. His mother is halfheartedly doing things for the child.

I am getting dragged into a situation that I know is not healthy or good for me. Yet, I feel tempted because I don't have much going for me in my life now.

I basically go to work and attend a divorce recovery group once per week and do errands and work out on the weekends.

Any suggestions to not pulled back?

Answer 1

First of all, do not go into your ex-husbands house again. If he is accusing you of stealing things, then you need to not be there.
I don't understand why he would accuse you of stealing things and then ask you come and stay at his house. That makes no sense.

If he is that worried about your child, why doesn't he have her stay with you? Why don't you have custody?

You should not be expected to feel comfortable at your ex mother in laws' house. It's not even right to ask you to be there.

I would suggest to your ex that you take your daughter for the duration of time it takes him to get on his feet. When he wants to visit with her, you can take her to his mother's house and HE can stay there and visit.

To answer your question: You go into these situations because you have a child and you don't want her to suffer because of it. There is nothing wrong with that. But you cannot put yourself in situations where your own mental health will be compromised. You and your ex need to work out a solution that works for YOU as well as your daughter.
I think having her stay with you is a much better solution.

I you end up agreeing to stay at HIS house (not with your ex mother in law present), then get the agreement in writing, signed and notarized by him stating that you have permission to stay there for a specific amount of time. And have a friend stop in every once in awhile as a witness in case he makes any other accusations. Cover your butt. Do not make any agreements with your ex verbally. Make them all in writing or thru the courts.
Otherwise it's his word against yours.

And it sounds like you might be depressed.....when was the last time you had a physical?

Answer 2

If your daughter is with your ex mother-in-law, then why not have her live with you? I guess the situation may be more complicated than it appears but that would be one solution. Just keep in mind that your daughter comes first and concentrate on that.

Answer 3

How can you say you are being pulled back?

She is your daughter so you do anything in your power to take care of her. You mother-in-law is not the child's mother.

YOu picked the guy, married him, and had child. You have to take responsibility for these consequences. The true victim is the child, not you.