Why does my 7 month old scream like I am ripping his arms off.?

Question

My baby is a terror. I love him but all's he does is scream if I am not holding him constantly, and I mean constantly. I have to hold him while going to the bathroom, when he goes to sleep. The instant I put him down, even if seemingly in a dead sleep, he will wake up screaching like someone just branded him. He was diagnosed with acid reflux when he was 3 weeks old and the doctor recommended that I hold him upright after each feeding, and to hold him upright when he slept, (he had a severe case of acid reflux.) He has been fine for the last 3 months no symptoms and he is off the medicine completely, but now when I put him down he just screams. I was told to just let him cry it out, and so far everyday I lay him in his crib and let him scream, the longest I let it go on for was 2 hours, after that I thought it was just abuse. Does anyone have any suggestions for this mother at her wits end. I love him but he is very trying and I am starting to lose patience with him. Please help

I thank everyone for there responses, there is some great advice. I have taken him back to the Pediatrician, and it was her advice to let him cry it out, she has given him a clean bill of health. I have recently started solids, and he has absolutlely no interest in eating andthing from a spoon, so I just keep trying. I am still breastfeeding. I do have a swing and a bouncer seat and everything else created by toy companys to take your money. He does not like anything. He hates being in the car for rides. I am hanging in there, I do not want anyone to think I am a bad mommy because of this question, I really love my son, and I appreciate all the helpful answers I received. Thank god for my four year old son, he helps occupy the baby and he has been so wonderful. I just fear that I am neglecting him, by paying so much attention to the baby. They both need me period. I will keep on doing my best, and I guess at least my arm muscles will be very strong :). Thank you

Answer 1

I cannot believe some of the answers you are receiving!!!!! My first child was the same way right around 7 months. Are you still breastfeeding? I was, and that is how I found out I was pregnant again - no joke. If that is a possibility, I'd check it out. Also, if you are still breastfeeding, has he been eating any baby foods that are new to him? What about you?

I googled "7 months old separation anxiety" six months back when I was having this problem with my son. I found a number of articles about separation anxiety in infants. I've gone back to google and found some links for you that may be helpful.

What worked with my child and may or may not work for your own, was just keeping him with me as often as possible, if I didn't absolutely have to leave him with his dad while I went grocery shopping, running errands, etc., then I simply didn't.

I rearranged my schedule to allow for doctor visits for him in the morning, as well as mine. I ended up changing my schedule to complete a number of tasks during the day, instead of at night while he slept.

I bought a sling, which he absolutely loves to this day. It allows me to do dishes, go shopping, do just about anything, with him (and these days he's running so I don't have to chase him when he's in his sling!).

I did a lot of activities with my son on the floor. I'd set him down on the floor and we'd play with his tummy time mats, or we'd play with an exersaucer he had. I gradually eased him into playing in his exersaucer/walker/Johnny Jump Up. After a while, he was comfortable playing as long as he could see me.

I'd say it took almost three months for my son, but now he is fine and entertains himself, lets me leave for a little while, etc.

The best advice I can give is to hang in there, because he's more than likely just super attached to you right now. He just wants his Mommy, and that's the best you can give him. So as long as he's comfortable, just remember that when he's happy, you're happy. It's not the other way around... yet!

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

I really feel for you. I have not incountered the acid reflux, however my son did cry alot at bed time. He would wake up time and time again and I was at my wits end as well. I did let my child cry it out.( This does NOT cause mental retardation as stated in another anwser. Retardation is a genetic issue not a crying issue.) As hard as it is, the trick is to not go into the room untill he has gone to sleep or he has stoped crying. I you go in at any point you are teaching them that if they cry long enough that you will come at some point and the crying will not stop. I did not sleep for 4 days. He is 17 months old now and has 1-2 naps a day and sleeps all night. This has been happening for 8 months.
I found that a strict routine was also very helpful. For example bath at 7:00 to 7:30 sleeper and bottle and them bed. Every night with no exceptions. We did not give our son a bottle in bed this is up to you but it worked for me.
I know the pain that you are going to feel and I know the tears that you are going to cry, be strong and presistant. You are giving your child the gift of sleep, a gift that they will use for the rest of their life. If you have a mate explain what you want to do first and be sure that you are both on board. If your mate is not, don't even try its hard enough to have you child crying nevermind you mate telling you that you are doing something wrong.
Much Luck

Answer 3

Do you have a baby sling? If you could put him on your back and go about the day, that might work well for both of you. That's what I do when my son is being clingy. Slings are lifesavers! Check http://www.mamatoto.org/ for ideas for simple, inexpensive slings (as well as links to places where you can buy ornate, pricier ones if you'd prefer.)

He really may be experiencing pain when lying down flat. To this day my husband gets stomach pain/reflux when he lies flat. I would definately make an appointment with your doctor and see if there is a physical reason that he would still need to be upright. Maybe you could try placing blocks underneath his crib so that when he lies in the crib his head is elevated, and try to place him in his crib during playtime to get him used to it. I would encourage you to follow your mother instincts about crying it out. Leaving a baby to scream for long periods of time feels neglectful to me too, especially if he's possibly in physical pain.

Is he crawling? My son went through a really clingy phase just before he became mobile. He's much happier and more independent now that he's crawling. Hopefully the same will be true for your son.

Can you get away for a little while? Will your son stay with your partner or parents or a friend happily for a few hours? A little bit of alone time on a regular basis might make it much easier for you to tolerate your son's neediness when you are together. Try to spend some time with friends, or take a long shower while your partner watches the baby, or go for a walk around the block without him... Anything that gets you away and relaxed.

Good luck!! I'm sure that everything will get better for you in time - hopefully sooner rather than later!!

Answer 4

you need to just let him scream when you have to like when you go to the bathroom, just shut the door and act like you don't hear him. It's only for a minute or two he isn't gonna have a heart attack. You are probably responding too much to his screams, so he is gonna do that. He needs to know you have limits, like when you go to the bathroom, you go alone.
Have you checked to make sure that he isn't teething? Are you burping him well after feedings? If you're not, it's possible he could be spitting it up and not be full. You have to feed a baby with acid reflux muxh more than other babies.
Have you tried getting some cds to play lullabytype music to sooth him? Don't give up, I know it's fustrating, but it does not sound good when you are calling your child a terror, sounds like you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown and you could take your anger and fustration out on the baby.
You have to keep trying and be patient, if you're baby is constantly crying then something is wrong and you need to find out what it is.
Also, some babies are very needy as far as attention and there isn't much you can do about that except to give them as much attention as you can. You must know when to take some time to yourself though before you lose it. Even mom needs a break. Do you have any friends or family nearby, or dad who can help. Maybe they can take baby sometimes so you can get a break, or dad can spend some time cuddling and loving on the baby so you can get a little r and r yourself

Answer 5

It must be a tough time for you and your baby. Firstly remember that your baby is not doing this to annoy you, he is in pain when you lie him down and therefore wants the loving touch of his mother.

There is a special raised (45 degrees) triangular foam matress that you can buy from mother care which your baby would be straped into by the velcro wrap. This will keep him at a good angle to stop the acid reflux and relive his pain when sleeping. (it's proven to work). It may also be of benefit for you to buy a lower flow bottle tet and give him milk as a drink because this would turn the acid in your baby's tummy into a more alkaline pH level thus reliving pain.

Answer 6

first off, i don't recommend you letting your 7 month old cry for 2 hours...that's a little much. i don't know how you can even stand it. i think the longest i have ever let my children cry was maybe 10 mins at the most. if he is crying that much, then there is something wrong. at first i was going to say that since you were holding him so much in the beginning he was probably just so used to being held that he didn't want to be by himself. but after 2 hours of crying, he should have been sleeping if that really was the case. i would talk to his dr. try to swaddle him in a receiving blanket...that will make him feel secure as if you were holding him.

good luck

Answer 7

I have an 8 month old. Same problem, including the reflux.

He is doing better, but he too likes to be held and cuddled. I don't really have any words of wisdom for you - other than to be patient. I know that is tough, and it was tough for me.

However, (8 months on Saturday) has gotten better within just the last couple of weeks. Your baby will outgrow it.

Look at the bright side: Your baby loves you, and does not want to ever be without you. That makes it tough because we have lots of things to accomplish as parents, but remember they are only little once. Soon, he'll be down playing, walking and running. Before you know it, he won't want to be cuddled. A cuddly baby is a blessing!

I just wanna say, I hear ya' sister. Keep your chin up, it will get better soon.

Answer 8

Your kid is so used to being held non-stop that he gets upset when his routine is changed. Try to set him down for short periods at a time, possibly with something to distract him. Start with 5 minutes, but stay close by. Let him cry for 5 minutes, then pick him up. Do this several times throughout the day. The next, try 10 minutes, but again, stay close by. He should be able to see you. Hopefully, he'll get used to being not held - and then you'll have to work on leaving him alone (nights and such, of course, not for hours while you go shopping....)
Thsi is obviously very confusing to him - mom always held me, and now she doesn't!?!?!? So give him time to slowly adapt to the new situation. Also, keep in mind that he has no other way than crying to express his confusion and displeasure. Try not to take it personally, he just has no other outlet.
Good luck.

Answer 9

I dont know your home life situation but it sounds like you need a day off. Ask mom, dad, or any family member to watch your child for a day so you can regroup. I know you keep hearing to let him cry it out but as a father myself its hard to do that. BUt thats the best thing to do is not let him have his way all the time. Thats where it starts is the crying and mommy always being there. You need to put a stop to it now or your child is going to control your life for the next 18 or so years

Answer 10

It sounds to me like he's just got too used to being held all the time because of his medical problems. Thankfully, now he's over that, and well done you for getting through it. A friend of mine had a similar problem with her daughter who had constant chest and lung problems for the first 6 months of her life and had to be kept under 24hr watch for breathing difficulties. As she grew out of them, they had the same thing you're going through now. The way they were suggested to approach it was this:
To start with, put him down in his crib but stay where he can see you until he's asleep. If he cries, rub his tummy and talk in a soothing voice to him till he's calm again then stop. When he's used to this move to stage 2.
Stage 2: Put him down and say goodnight or whatever you're going to say to him when he goes to sleep. Then move out of his sight, but for now stay in the room. He'll freak for the first few nights, maybe a week because he's so used to you being there constantly. As soon as he cries, go over to him and rub his tummy and speak softly. Do this everytime he cries, as soon as he cries. After a week, continue this but start to leave him a little longer between each time you go him. As he's young, start with a minute. Do that a few times then move to two minutes and so on.
Once he's used to the idea that you are still around if he needs you even without him being able to see you he'll be happy to go to sleep on his own, or spend time on his own awake during the day. You'll be able to pee in peace again!

Good luck, and remember: no matter how hard it seems to leave him to cry (when you get to that stage) it's for his benefit. He needs to be able to feel secure in the knowledge that you are there for him even if you aren't holding him. And it'll be much easier for everyone if you do it now rather than in a year's time!