For those who are single?

Question

I just broke up with my boyfriend, and I live in the same apartment as him. I really don't want to move, and I have a seperate bedroom.. But.. How do I keep the promise to myself that I'm not going to back with him, and I'm going to move on?

Also, how do I get rid of the feeling that I'm never going to find someone else?

Thanks!

Sorry.. Heh.. I meant GET back with him, not back with him.. That didn't sound very appropriate. Lol

Answer 1

Wow Tab, good one.

Yes, that's probably your best bet. You can go to something like www.prideroommates.com if you want to be sure you're going to get gay roommates who you'll feel comfortable around. Failing that, www.craigslist.org is a great resource!

Answer 2

Hon, I feel for you...you are in a very difficult place right now, and his being in your face daily ain't gonna help. If the avatar is of you, you will have no problems finding a new bf, but why in the world would you be so anxious to have one???? The happiest people I know are all single. There is a hell of a world out there to play in, just do it safely. I would strike a bargain with him at this point...the apartment, for the time being , is off limits to bringing tricks home...one or the other will not be able to avoid being jealous, and that ain't pretty under the best of circumstances. Time moves on, and so do we...the farther you are from the situation time-wise, the easier it will be. And, if you really want some good advise, get a new bf NOW, just be careful with his feelings, for yours will not be real...but it certainly will fill up your time and life...you won't have time to sit and feel sorry for yourself. I get over all my past loves with someone new, and quickly..as in hours. You can too. Go for it. Good luck

Answer 3

Oh shucks, this can be really hurtful for you, sharing the same living space with the one you were in love with once. The promise you make depends upon your resolve, and your feeling of self worth to not breach it. As for moving on, and finding someone else, be on the look out. Keep yourself busy in activities that help you take your mind off this relationship. Go out with other friends more often. Take a vacation. And if your avatar pic is really yours, you should have one reason less to not believe you will find someone else :-) Take care and all the best.

Answer 4

I also broke up with my partner after ten years, but we broke up in a violent break-up, so I moved out and explored the life of being single, drowning my sorrows with Alcohol, A- Class narcotic and hard work. For nine months I have lived on my own and yeah there were moments of anger and of love. Well after blaming him, myself and everyone else around me, I decided to move on, leave the city I'm in, because I had lost the only reason that I had to move to this city upon telling him this, I am now staying with him and without any discussion we understand that there will be no going back, we have stayed friends, have sex for old times sake (very rarely) we have met other people and even though nothing is concrete with these new people in our lives, we are saying our goodbyes by getting to know each other. You won't go back, because each of you have different memories of the same incident. But I'll warn you don't drown your sorrows. Plan to move on, have un-committed sex(safely) and enjoy, don't let the guilty feeling of betrayal fester within your mind.
Always remember you where loved by him as you loved him, but the relationship wasn't right and with that in mind the right one is still out there and with hindsight now you are better armed to foresee the future of a new relationship before it becomes serious. So have a sea change and enjoy your search for yourself and nobody else until it feels right with you

Answer 5

Dude, this response comes to you from Canada.

Though, currently in my life I'm not single, I found in the past, staying with an 'ex' partner is never ever a good thing.

It's one thing that you both agree that you will 'share' the rent and bills, but eventually someone will come along either in your life or his, and the relationship (friends/roommates) will dissolve. Only worry I would have at this point, is when it does dissolve completely, will he just move .. or will he be responsible and give proper notice, clean up with part of the bills etc.

Taking that kind of risk only tells me one thing, though you ask your Friends in this forum of what to do - I believe you've got your mind made up that you will stay 'IN HOPES OF RESTORING YOUR BROKEN RELATIONSHIP'

Maybe now you will retort and get angry with my response, but later down the road, you will finally understand where I'm coming from if you don't now.

Good luck,

bga

Answer 6

If you insist on continuing to live together, you will need to have a lot of activities that take you out of the apartment. Join club or support group or two, meet friends for dinner, visit family, volunteer, switch to working evenings, etc. In other words, build a separate life.

After a break up, everyone feels somehow like damaged goods, like the car on the lot with rust spots. That's not reality, it's simply self-doubt. You can get better via hanging out with people who share your interests and may express an interest in you.

- {♂♂} - {♂♀} - {♀♀} -

Answer 7

That promise has been made and broke a thousand times. Check craigslist on the net and find a roommate.

As for the feeling youw ill never find someone else - that is simply going to take some time.

Answer 8

I think you need to be realistic. I lived with someone for two months after we broke up and by the time he left I was at my wits end. You may have a hard time moving on when youre still living with him. If his moving is not an option then you need to realize that in order for you to move on you need to move out.

Answer 9

ive just had the same problem as you, the feelin of you will never find someone who loves you again is just a transtion. there are so many guys in this planet. Now try to focus yourself on other things and i would sincerely recommend you to move to another apt, i mean if u really wanna move on u have to! im sure u will find a much better apt and a new bf. buena suerta!

Answer 10

Baby boi, it takes time. it will be harder on you, since the two of you live in such close proximity to one another, but if you keep living your life for yourself and trying to do better, you will move past the feelings of hurt, pain and flashing back. You will find someone else. Deep in your heart, you know you will. you might be confused now, but that's just because it's all so fresh.

Answer 11

In time you will find someone else, but for now, you need to find somewhere else to live, being around him will make this difficult to do, so move on, and out! best of luck to ya! You can stay at my place, if ya like??