Why do people put their aging parents in assisted living facilities?

Question

I stand corrected...accept my apologies. I now understand somewhat.

Answer 1

coolgem-until you've been in the situation, forced to make a choice in what would be best for your parent, you can't really assume the children are selfish. We had to put my dad in a facility, he had Alzheimers. It was a very emotional choice. My dad worked to give us everything and in the end, we couldn't help him. The house he lived in for 40 years, became foreign to him. He'd put gasoline in the birdbath, water in the lawnmower, he'd get up at night and wander, we TRIED, but everything just confused him. At the facility, his room was very basic, he had 24 hour care, and he calmed down. He wasn't frustrated or angry anymore. To see him have some PEACE in his daily life was better than watching him suffer at home.

Answer 2

My mom had to do that with my 92 year old grandmother because she has dementia and was a danger to herself and others. My mom is in her early 60s and still has to work to support herself and could not leave my grandmother alone all day in her house because she would get hurt. My grandmother needs to be monitored 24 hours a day. My mom could not afford a live in nurse so we had to put my grandmother in a 'home'. We sold her house and 'they' took all the money (over $300,000). Once that money is gone my grandmother is eligible for Medicare and they will cover the cost of the facility. They will only allow her a $6000 'burial fund' after that. The situation makes me very mad but we had no choice. My mom visits EVERY DAY to make sure she's being taken care of even though my grandma doesn't always know who my mom is.

My mom is not qualified to care for an elderly person with medical problems anyway and neither am I. We have no other immediate family members.

Answer 3

There are a number of reasons our parents and grandparents are put into assisted living centers, most commonly for their own safety. When a person's home becomes unsafe for them to live in, or when a person requires more care (or more specialized care) than their family can provide, it makes sense to put that person in an appropriate setting for their condition. When my grandfather started showing signs of Alzheimers, he came to live with us for a few years. But my parents both had to work to support all of us, and my sister and I were in school, so we didn't ahve the resources to care for him 24 hours a day the way he needed. When he started wandering off in the middle of the day and getting lost, and nearly burning our house down 3 times, we realized we were in over our heads and we needed to take him to a place where people trained to handle his disease could care for him. It wasn't an easy decision for any of us, but in the end it was best for him.

My grandmother is suffering from dementia and refuses to leave her home when we discuss assisted living or her moving in with relatives. Luckily for us we happened to have a somewhat distant relative who has provided in-home care like this before and was not only looking for a new job but somewhere to live, so she was a great fit. In the end, it was a stroke of luck that things worked out, because if we hadn't found her, it wouldn't have been long before we were forced to take my grandmother to a safer location than her home.

It's not an easy choice to make, but sometimes it's the only solution.

Answer 4

while obviously people have different reasons, i would say in general because the older parent needs full time care which younger adults who must work for a living cannot provide.
i intend to do it for my mom, if and when she reaches that point.of course, it's something that we've discussed, she is the main part of the decision, it's still her life.
she will be taken care of by professionals, while still able to do whatever she can or wants to for herself.
there are things, particularly medical and physical therapy related that i am not qualified to do, so even if i was well-off enough to quit working and take care of her, i wouldn't be confident enough in my own abilities to take on the responsibility of elder care.
xxoo

Answer 5

In my grandma's case, we can't care for her ourselves. She needs constant supervision and special medication and professional care. It would not be possible for us to care for her in our home.

Of course we visit often and my aunt is there nearly every day. It just isn't feasible for her to be without professional care 24/7.

Answer 6

Because they are selfish, spoiled children. Shame on them!!!