How can I get my baby to sleep in her crib? I have a hard time letting her 'cry it out' and when I have tried.

Question

she has cried for over an hour. That's as much as I could stand. I have been sleeping with her since she was born since I was, and still am, nursing. This worked PERFECTLY with my first baby and when she was my baby's age (11 months) she was sleeping almost the entire night alone in her crib. She was great about taking 2 long naps a day, everyday, in her crib. too. So I thought this sleeping arrangement would work out again. WRONG. She will not sleep by herself even though the babysitter (all day 5 days a week) has no problem at all getting her to take a nap in the packnplay. I have tried a pacifier, rocking her, stroking her back, etc. but she just stands there gripping onto the bars of the crib SCREAMING. HELP! This is not good for her, for her sister, for me, for my ailing marriage. But I am often just too tired to fight at the end of the day not to mention the crying keeps her big sister up. HELP!!!

Answer 1

oh sweetie!!this is mama lee :)
first of all it is not good at all for you your baby or your family!! but you know that so let me try and help :) but you must do it!! :) and yes its hard hey i put ear plugs in :) when my children were little and i was putting them to bed if thy screamed because thay dident want to go to bed and let mine scream yell what ever as long as thay were not sick or hurting well what ever works sweetie but you have to let her cry!!! scream its ok it does not make you a bad paren!! also maybe the babysitter is making her sleep to long? in the day!!! also even when you are tired when you get home you need to spend time with the baby even 30 min before bed!!! and no breast feeding at night!!! use a pump if you have to put the milk in a bottle but all my children were off the bottle at night or all together by 16 mo, all children are diffrent or parents :) but do you truly know your babysitter? if so thats great but if not then i would be putting a camra in the house!!you can never be to careful ask any parent out there i'm sure thay would tell you the same!! but i'll bet your baby misses you in the day and shes just 11 months old, we have two children 23 and 29 and our five year old that we addopt at birth she has adhd and b/p and raiseing our granson hes two 1/2 and i'm here to tell you its not easy being a parent as it is and you and your husband also needs your time or it will take a tole on your marrage!! plus you have another child and then theres some you time!!!:) or there should be!!! i dont have any of that :( and i know how hard it is!! good luck and and remember let the angel cry!!! and if you can look on the internet and buy the it works!!!!! that will tell you more then i could ever have time to tell you also i think you can buy it at walmart!! good luck and god bless you and your family, mama lee,

Answer 2

We have three children and one on the way. The first one my wife would place on her back just like they tell you is the safest way and the baby never slept well. The second baby she would allow to sleep on his stomach and he slept better. With the last one my wife had her own bed and the baby always slept with her through the night and the last arrangement worked best. I know some mom's thrash and move around too much and it could be a danger to the baby but my wife doesn't move much in her sleep so this worked out.
My wife no longer has her own bed so we are going to try the crib out again. I know she is not one who could let the baby cry it out. She used to say this was cruel. She would run to them and basically wear them in a sling through the day. Some people may think this spoils them, used to I would agree but we always get compliments on how well behaved our children are (at least they are this way in public).

Answer 3

I am with you on the whole "cry it out" thing. I can't do it either. I would recommend putting the pack and play in your room. Wait until she gets into a sleepy state and put her in it, if she wakes and screams, wait until she is totally asleep and then put her in there to sleep. You can transition to a crib after 2-3 weeks in your room. When she adjusts to that move her into her own room. I read in one of my baby books that this type of transition works best before six months. I think you just got lucky the first time. I had to transition my son gradually but did it by six months and it was still a little painful but the longer you wait the worse it will get. I think this could work with minimal wear and tear on you and the whole family. Good luck with everything.

Answer 4

How many consecutive nights and days (naps) do you let her cry it out? It can sometimes take a week or even 2. I think if you do this it will work. just don't give in. My pediatrician said to let them cry for 2 hours but I only did it one hour also with my 2nd child (my fist didn't cry that long) after that hour I would pick her up and rock her in my arms and she would go to sleep but the next night I did the same thing. It took about a week for her.
I would try again. Put her to bed early like 7 or 7:30, this is better for her and also maybe big sister wont be in bed yet.
good luck

Answer 5

Your experience speaks to how kids can *respond differently* to things (regardless of the need to keep in mind that kids still need to be treated basically the same).

With children, in particular, you must learn to tough it out. You've taught her how to treat you and she's taught you how to give in (treat her). Giving in can, and in your case clearly and absolutely has, simply reinforced her behavior.

Again, you must get tough. There's no way around it. Create a bedtime routine and stick to it--a bath, a story, a specific length of time to cuddle, tell her goodnight, then shut the door and walk away. Turning on a sound machine is also a good idea.

Try letting her sleep in the packnplay since she seems to have no problem with the sitter in it. Later you can work on transferring her to her crib. Also, check with the sitter on her routine for getting her to sleep, packnplay or not.

Otherwise, when she bawls, you (and your husband as well taking turns) can go in and comfort her simply with soothing words, pats/rubs on the back, wish her good night, and walk away.

After going in the room, pick her up *firmly* and decisively with a secure grip, lay her down, soothe her verbally and with your hand on her belly or head, then walk away. Your hesitancy, tentativeness in this process will speak non-verbal volumes to her and to you, and you will simply reinforce for her that you're vulnerable...and so, the behavior continues and/or escalates.

Gradually decrease the number of times per hour you go in to check on her, speak to her and physically soothe her. Then walk away. You husband should also help reinforce this and take turns.

Start this on a weekend night, say Fri., so you have a couple of days where you don't have to worry about going in to work the next day being rundown.

Don't be surprised if the behavior gets worse before it gets better. Just be consistent and she will learn that escalating her behavior does not bring out a corresponding, escalating, or frustrating response in you.

She WILL learn that whether she cries softly or vigorously, she will get the same tempered response from you two and that her crying and screaming will get no extra or special attention.

Eventually she will tire and modify HER behavior bc she's learning that it's getting her nowhere and she's tuckered out to boot. She will be learning that her behavior is no longer working for HER and it's no longer working on YOU.

Answer 6

try through the day initially putting her down for a nap and going maybe into the back yard with your other child meaning you wont hear your daughter and your daughter will get used to the fact bed time means bed time,,, if your daughter does it for day care then she is playing you up which unfortunately children tend to do with their moms as they know they can get away with it. Get her used to day time nap means day time nap then night time sleep means night time sleep and as hard as it is you must hold out, it sounds like you have tried this again and again but failed meaning all your daughter has learnt is that she needs to keep it up a little longer for your attention.
unfortunately the only answer is to leave her to cry keep goin in keep putting her back to lie down in silence,dont give her the attention or talk to her, this may take a week of hard work but will be plenty worth it... good luck,,,, ive been there

Answer 7

The one thing that worked for us is to put her in her crib and stand beside it. Each night we would move further away from the crib until she was used to going to sleep on her own. We are now able to put her in her crib at bed time turn on the ocean wonders aquarium ( these are great! http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=3933930) and she goes to sleep on her own!

Hope this helps!

Answer 8

Whats wrong with keeping her in your bed? She will outgrow it when she is ready.

There are plenty of other ways to have fun with your husband... the shower, the kitchen table, the stairs... :)

I actually put my son to sleep in his crib for the first stretch (nurse him until hes completely out and then lay him down on his tummy) and then bring him to bed after he wakes up.

Answer 9

Please read Dr. Marc Weissbluth's book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby. This helped me for my 2nd child. Good Luck!

Answer 10

you need to put her in the crib close the door and let her cry she will wear out and fall a sleep break this now before its a bigger problem