Women, why did you choose not to have children?

Question

I'm not having children because:

a) I have no long-term patience for children.
b) I don't want to be distracted from my career.
c) I would rather be "Rio" instead of "______'s mom."

It goes without saying that if you want children or have them already, I don't want to hear from you.

ASHLEIGH: I was seeking out the perspectives of women, since we are constantly battling each other over whether or not childlessness is an acceptable choice. But what the hell.

WILLIAM M: I hear that. I'll be getting sterilized as soon as I can.

CRISTY B: Anyone who disagrees with any of your reasons is the lowest of the low. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that.

HIS: Something tells me I once knew you under a different name. Either way, stop wasting my time.

STEPHEN R: Can you read? I clearly stated that if you had kids, I didn't want to hear about it.

STEPHEN R: And furthermore, your assertions about space in America are disingenuous. Wisconsin may be an empty pit, but Manhattan has a higher population than my entire PROVINCE. I suggest you study some demographics and get back to me. And since I'm an atheist, I consider your "second commandment" argument to be without merit.

YOUNGWOMAN: I like children, but only when they belong to someone else. Kids are like Florida — nice place to visit, wouldn't wanna live there.

MAN IN SEARCH OF ANSWERS: Hey, I agree with you here. If it's within a woman's ability to have children and she wants them, she should have them. If she doesn't want them, it's better not to have them. But I'm only interested in hearing from the childless for this question.

Answer 1

This is interesting because I wrote a paper and did a presentation on this topic for a sociology college class. Most people think that women are BORN to want to have children. This is not so; do some research. Men and women are socialized for different roles. Men are taught to be independent and assertive while women are taught to be nuturing care givers. SOCIALIZATION plays a factor. So what about the people who have a normal social childhood?
Some women don't want to because they think other things in their life are more important, like careers. Others find kids annoying and don't have any patience, yes. I've talked to a couple of couples who have animals and say that's all they need to be happy.
Also, it's hard to have kids these days! So many rules: you're a good parent if you work and are the perfect parent and spend every waking moment with or worrying aboiut your child. You're a bad parent if you feed your kid high-sugar cereal for breakfast... it's ridiculous! Can't even spank kids these days. For thousands of years parents beat their kids and all of a sudden it produces psychological damage? Evolution could argue that we're already messed up because of that! And not doing it now won't stop the damage!!
I'm sorry to respond, I do want to have children, but I have somewhat of an understanding of why some people don't want them. I told my sister (age 24) if she ever has kids, that I'm adopting them. She's focused on her career and has never been the mothering type. I'm pretty sure it had a lot to do with socialization (we didn't live together).
There's nothing wrong with not wanting children, although most of society thinks its abnormal. More and more people are deciding not to. It's a CHOICE, not destiny. Just think, if someone who doesn't want to have children has them, he/she might not be that great of a parent.
Like I said, sorry I responded, but I just wanted you to know there are people out there that respect people who decide not to have kids.

Answer 2

I am 25 and I can tell you why.

1. I also have no patience for children.
2. I don't want to take care of anyone.
3. I don't have the financial resources for children.
4. I don't know how to raise children to be the best that they can be. I know I was the best that I should have when I was a child. So I have no idea of how to raise them to be one.
5. I don't know how to teach them the way that I should teach them. I don't my children to make the same mistakes as I did when I was a kid and I don't know how to teach them to not do so.
6. I will not be able to be a good parent because I don't feel that I am a good person myself.
7. I don't know how to set a good example for children.
8. It is very hard to raise children today as the way children are today.
9. I want my freedom. I don't want the rest of my life to dedicate to someone while I can dedicate to myself.
10. I HATE CHILDREN.

Answer 3

My girlfriend does not like them. She had her tubes tied at age 27, and a hysterectomy at age 35. I had a vasectomy at age 21. She is now 36, and I am 40. We have been together for 5 years. Neither of us ever wanted them. We prefer animals.

We know other people that feel the same way.

She says:

If you have kids you loose your identity and individuality.
If you have kids it changes you life completely.
If you have kids you age faster, and look 10 years older than you are.
Having kids wrecks your body.
Having kids is expensive.
Having kids means you loose your freedom.

Being 40, most of my friends have teens, or adult kids. They would never admit to it in public, but in private, they tell me that they regret having children.

Answer 4

d) I had no support system to help raise my child
e) I don´t have the economic means to provide adequate maintenance/education for a child
f) I was severely neglected as a child and was afraid of doing the same to my child
g) I was raped and the idea of having intercourse ever again scared me to death
h) This world is over populated already, it does not need my help to keep growing
i) There are so many unwanted/neglected children in the world in need of being adopted, I rather adopt some of them
See, I never had children, and none of all those options apply to my decision of not having them, so the list can be even longer than it is.....

Answer 5

Not to butt in, but speaking as a man, if I had it to do it all over again and knew then what I know now? I would insist on a doctor giving me a vasectomy!

Answer 6

i LOVE my freedom!!! it's much easier to get my friends to pet sit than it would be to find a babysitter while i'm out of the country. i'm more of an animal lover. i do have step children but having them every other weekend is so easy. being an actual parent just is not for me.

Answer 7

I am a transsexual woman so the decision was already made for me. Still, I would consider adopting one.

Answer 8

Would You agree that the same should be said of, for and by Men?

Answer 9

Wow,
A lot of anti-child people out there.
My wife and I have 8 children one is not born yet.
We have decided to have children because it was Gods second commandment to human beings. We are the only species on earth who decide not to have children don't you think that's strange? And about this whole "Overpopulation" theory it is a hoax. Just go up in a plane some time and se how much space there really is. besides the whole worlds population could easily fit into one single state of the U.S each given their own house to live in.
Don't believe me? Do the math on a calculater, very simple process. Here in wisconsin wed could all have 6 acres of land if we spread out.