I will try to make a long story short.....this guy I have been seeing lives 1 1/2 hrs. away. We see each other 2 x a month. We don't have any commitment & I got asked out by another guy & talked to him about it - he said he hadn't been in a relationship for so long, he forgot how & then grudgingly told me I could go. I decided not to but since he never asked, I haven't told him.
Then, because I was insecure, I referred to us as friends w/ benefits & he seemed sort of upset. The truth is, I care about him very much & never saw us as FIB but said that because I figured that's what he was after ( & didn't want to get rejected).
Things have cooled off since then but I am going to see him again today &I don't know if I should come clean & tell him that I wasn't truthful when I acted like he was just a piece of a** or let it go. He seems to not enjoy talking about 'us' (what guy does? :) but I feel like I screwed up. Should I tell him he means more than that to me or will it scare him
2007-05-03 04:10:32 · 14 answers · asked by Clarissa 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is hard to make a relationship work, being that far away. But you have definately made the attempt to making it work, even by showing up to his games. You are a special person. You definately have feelings towards him, but you might be at the crossroads to ask where he sees this going.
If you want more out of the relationship, you need to tell him. If it scares him away, then he needs to figure out how to deal with that. What if he never "gets it"? What if he doesn't want a relationship and is fine with just being a friend with benefits. Is that enough for you? If he can't see that you are crazy about him, then he is simply blind. It is not wrong to want some parameters around the relationship / friendship. You simply want to know where you stand.
2007-05-03 07:00:45 · answer #1 · answered by ciberpunk1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We need details, details...so how did the baseball game go the other night go???? Did it brighten his day or what..??? We need this information missy.....IIf there's no commitment, what's the deal w/ the FIB. I had a chat w/ this babe the other day and it boiled down to the fact that friend w/ benefits type relationship is a dead end road...someone is going to get hurt in the end....anybody in that type of arraignment is just going on with it due to their feelings for the other person...it's not an "equal" status relationship...one partner feel more about the other...it's a fact....NOW....from now on, don't refer to him as a "friend" w/ benefits, will ya...I would be hurt to if the girl I'm giving myself to said I was a friend. I'm mean I like would think "well you sure wern't just a friend when you were yelling my name out the other night"....so why start now....Come clean, be vulnurable and tell him how you really feel, apologize. Don't let it go. Even tell him he's a good piece of a** (just kidding). It's sounds like you like him, are accepting of his awkwardness and no more of this FIB garbage...Baby if he doesn't like talking about "us", why even worry about him..go out with door #2 next time....You should come clean, be truthful and stop of the messing around...Sheeesh.....
2007-05-03 12:48:29 · answer #2 · answered by prouddaddy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say dont tell him! if he wanted to be more and put a title on the relationship he would have done so, especially once u told him someone else asked u out. yeah he might have got mad when u said he was a friend with benefits but really its the truth..........wait to see how he responds when u see him then u can ask about the situation before u go spilling ur guts and he might not feel the same
2007-05-03 11:22:49 · answer #3 · answered by Ma Baby 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just tell him the truth and tell him that you referred to the two of you the other way because of your fear of being rejected and that you did not want to hurt him when you said that. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to tell him and the less likely it is he will believe what you say. He will either be relived or scared, but the bottom line is, you will know where you stand.
2007-05-03 11:22:14 · answer #4 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would just be honest with him, and let it take its course. If you care about him for more than just a piece of a**. What harm will it do? It might make him feel alot better knowing how you really feel, And it seems like it really bothered him to think you just wanted him for a piece of a**.Maybe he has more feeling than he wants to admit also.
2007-05-03 11:18:33 · answer #5 · answered by blondie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you really feel. This gets it off your chest and lets this relationship do one of two things: 1) it ends or 2) it gets serious. Either way, you can't live forever in the status quo.
2007-05-03 11:19:08 · answer #6 · answered by StormyC 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You found a man that could talk???!!!! and about us????!!!! Probably an alien clone type person studying humanity for a science project. Overheard one of my daughters asking a sibling, "How can you tell when a man is really happy?", to which her sibling replied "Who cares". Then they both laughed and rolled on the floor. Made me proud to be a father.
2007-05-03 11:17:05 · answer #7 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be honest. If you ever want a relationship with this man, you have to keep honesty between you at all times. Don't play games.
2007-05-03 11:15:32 · answer #8 · answered by Jbuns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want him to know how you really feel then tell him. But if you don't care what he thinks, then don't worry about it.
Since it seems you do care, you should be honest about everything.
2007-05-03 11:15:52 · answer #9 · answered by ╚╔╩╦ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure tell him, then see where it goes. you never know, it might turn into a real relationship. You wont know if you dont try
2007-05-03 11:15:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋