How come nobody gets this?

Question

The articles outlining the duties of a SAHM with corresponding salaries are a tribute to mothers. They are intended to make you think about all the things your mother has done for you, or your wife has done for your children. Mothers DESERVE recognition in appreciation for everything they do. Remember Mothers Day is coming soon. Coincidence?

I don’t think anyone really expects mothers to be paid a salary, but it IS nice to assess the value of the work from time to time.

Why don’t people see this for what it is?

Steve: Father's Day is coming in June. You'll have your turn.

Ashleigh - yes, that is worth thinking about.... thank you for bringing in a different perspective

Answer 1

Sadly in our society people don't see the things we do... just the money we make. I was at one time a stay at home mom and was never rewarded monitarily for that time however.... the rewards I received were much greater.... 3 GREAT kids who love and respect me.

Sometimes things need to be spelled out for some people so they can truly appreciate what another person does.

Answer 2

Speaking here as a predominately SAH wife and mother and now grandmother, I can say that I've come across those things before and been less than impressed.
They are throwing us a bone, when what we need is coin of the realm, preferably in the form of some sort of tax break or incentive, if we can subsidize daycare and Wal mart would it really kill if we gave a break to the SAH parent?
I personally may be mad for crepe paper carnations, and I save every card, but in the years I was at home, I could end any conversation at a cocktail party with the words "I'm at home with two kids". Men would turn away, and women would glaze over.
That's the real life test, and SAH flunk everytime anywhere but the PTA and the playground. We really need respect on a day to day basis and not a once a year special.
Phil, if a man offered to do what your mother did without pay he would be put away and not in a nursing home either. So much has to do with what is expected of us. So little with our expectations for ourselves.

Answer 3

Is a Stay at Home Mother Worth More or less than a Stay at Home Wife, or a Stay at Home Father, or a Stay at Home Husband? The point could be made that We all need a Mother, but only once (ditto for Fathers), and after that We could all be raised communally, in much the same way that certain Native American tribes chose to function. I wonder what sort of a society We would have created had that altered familial structure been the norm? Worth a thought or two on Mother's Day, and Father's Day too, don't You think?

Answer 4

There is not a doubt that caring mothers are wonderful and deserving of praise. That is not to say a mother is automatically qualified. The idea that mothers deserve pay for the choices they make, devalues caring mother's attention to their families to the point of meniality.
My own mother raised 9 children and we lived without running water or indoor plumbing until 1959. She and the children did all the chores like hoeing the garden and gathering the produce, milking, feeding livestock (chickens, Guineas, pigs, cows, dog). She had a gas cookstove but no air conditioning, she hauled water to a kettle in the yard to heat to do laundry, which was done with an old wringer-type washer, she ironed all clothes (this was before no-iron) and prepared all meals from scratch, even cake, pie and bread and swept the floors with a broom and dustpan, then mopped them all.
She doctored the multitude of cuts and bruises. The only time we saw a doctor was for broken or dislocated bones, stiches for the larger cuts or immunizations.
My dad worked just as hard; he had a "normal" job away from the home and also helped with the chores, especially on weekends plus added ones like replacing the piping on the well, building new structures like a brood house for the chickens we raised for cash, repairing the barn, house and other structures, mowing (two acre yard), butchering and doctoring the animals, painting the house, roofing, etc.
Today's mother spends a few hours a day on cleaning and cooking. Rarely, if ever irons and can't make cake except from a mix. She almost guaranteed, relies on a washer/dryer, freezer, microwave, dishwasher, and vacuum among other labor-saving devices. Wouln't know a live chicken from a hog and couldn't butcher a chicken but buys them already cut up.
After I left home, my parents moved into a smaller house with central heat/air, carpet and all the appliances people take for granted. They both retired but kept on doing what needed to be done for each other until my father's death. After my mom became incapable of caring for herself, she DEMANDED to be place in a nursing home because she "didn't want to be a burden to her children".
That is a caring mother, in my opinion. Her husband and children adored her and she would have been highly offended if someone had mentioned she deserved pay for accepting the responsibility of the choices she made.

Answer 5

Showing appreciation is always a good thing.
A heartfelt thank you, a card, flowers, a gift, a hug, etc. Those are all well deserved tokens of appreciation.

However, mothers, fathers, wives, and husbands have voluntarily taken on something called "responsibility".

And everyone in the family has responsibility TO the family. We are in debt to each other.

For example, as a husband and father I OWE it to my family to care for them. It is not a gift that I give. That is my responsibility, which I gladly carry out, and don't expect any more than simple appreciation for doing my level best.

Should it be any different for a SAHM or SAHD?

EDIT:

KA1227 - Every single day that I can hug my wife and girls is Father's Day to me. I don't need any more than that. . . . and definitely not another tie (smile).

Answer 6

What article? Mothers ARE paid a salary if they work outside the home.

The value of the work IS assessed since we have Mothers' Day. I recognize and appreciate mothers that stay home to raise their kids.

Answer 7

I think it's just experience for most of us.

My mom, who I love and respect, didn't work hard while I was growing up. Maybe other mom's did, but mine spent most of her day drinking coffee with other mom's and watching TV.

She wasn't a psychologist, and who would pay an untrained psychologist anyway, and she wasn't a doctor or most of the other higher paying jobs they throw in to this list to boost the salary to the 'shock' level for news anyway.

The other half of why I don't care is that I'm a father, and I did, and do way more parenting than my ex-wife. This article is clearly for stay at home moms, but it also reflects on moms vs. dads value for us divorced people.

The last reason for me is that it's just shock news, no different that Howard Stern, except that it's acceptable drama. I don't like either and so I have some scorn for this.

Answer 8

Yes it is nice to access the value of SAHM(s) really there is not monetary value to it in truth. You cannot put a price on the first walk and or the first word.

Answer 9

I thought it was pretty interesting to see what my time would be worth in the workplace..if only I could find a paying job where all these skills can be used!

Answer 10

I see it for what it is.