I think my husband is showing signs of a mid-life crisis. Wanting to spend more time with friends than family,when I ask how was work its always the same that " its work". It doesn't seem like he has the need for physical closeness with me,barely a kiss when he leaves to go to work. He started smoking again after more than 6 mo. quitting,and drinks every weekend.Just got his first tattoo. He refuses to talk about whats going on and if I ask he says he doesn't know...when I say I'm afraid to loose him he doesn't reassure me that it won't happen.Hes never been the cheating type. Is this a mid life crisis or something else? If there is anyone who knows these signs or has experianced them...what was your outcome? How did you handle it? The more answers I get the better.
2007-05-03 01:38:49 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Been married almost 12 years with 3 kids and financially we are doing ok
2007-05-03 01:43:28 · update #1
I practically throw myself at him and nothing and as far as being on him about this its been going on for over a month and I talked to him a lot the first week and when it didn't work gave him space I brought it up once last night to see if he was ready to talk and he didn't so I left it alone.
2007-05-03 01:49:46 · update #2
I'm going through the very same thing. My 27 y o kinda partner (we are currently separated) is going to get his lip peirced, keeps talking about the RX7 he wants to buy and how he knows that something is missing from his life but doesn't know what it is. I'm sorry, I'm probably not actually that helpful afterall...........
2007-05-03 01:51:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Midlife Crisis At 30
2016-11-14 20:15:26 · answer #2 · answered by portillo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Signs Of Male Midlife Crisis
2017-01-04 09:40:11 · answer #3 · answered by mayer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not a midlife crisis, don't excuse his behaviour away this way. He's just reverting back to a wish to be "single" (don't read that as cheating), the stuff he missed out on because he got married at 18! Unfortunately, an older brother of mine did the same thing, bought a motorcycle, started spending more time away from home, drinking, etc. - all bad behaviour which took him away from his wife and family. It didn't end well in his case, but that's another story.
You know, all you can do is talk with him and redirect him back to you and your family.
2007-05-03 02:03:24 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know exactly what it is called but for lack of a better term I'll refer to it as the 30 year rut. You take off as a young adult somewhere around 20 to 22 and you have great aims and high expectations. The years slip by and all of a sudden you are 30 years old. Damn! Here I am over the hill, where did my youth go what have I accomplished? I don't have fun like I used to and I am going to a regular job that I thought I never wanted when I was young. Am I caught in a rut and what is the alternative? Am I willing to risk it? Should I upset the wife with this nonsense or just see what comes along?
It is I guess you could call it just seeing yourself in a rut. It passes with a little time.
2007-05-03 01:58:42 · answer #5 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention children. I think he is feeling life i very routine right now. I think he is too young for the midlife crisis. I don't know how long you have been married either.
something is definitely going on. he is bored if you ask me. and acting out perhaps a little and don't think he wont cheat either. men do that ya know............
I am a woman and went thought that with my husband. I was completely bored. Life was very routine for me and I later divorced for allot of reasons. but looking back the bottom line I wasn't happy at all. married the wrong man.
good luck
2007-05-03 01:46:48 · answer #6 · answered by crazymama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you were married for 12 years, so this means you got married at about age 18, that is the time guys go out and do all the stuff your husband is doing now. I think he really never got to experience this kind of stuff.He has probably met someone, that has made him feel young again. You guys have 3 kids, so I am sure you probably took alot of time with the kids, and maybe he felt left out as a husband. I know alot of wives have kids, and forget they have a husband as far as that hot sex that you used to have and the fun you used to have before you started worrying about the kids all the time, and what there needs are. I am sure you put your own needs as well on the back burner. That's what moms do. I think you should really go seek a marriage Counselor. You said you were financially stable.You should maybe plan a weekend getaway for just the two of you. Have someone you trust keep the children. Have fun, remember all the reasons you two fell in love. I will have you in my prayers.God bless your family.
2007-05-03 02:56:06 · answer #7 · answered by Heather D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mid life crisis just means they feel like they are stuck in a rut and nothing new happens. People feel like 'this is what the rest of my life will be like". They do things to try to jump out of the rut.......just be thankful he doesn't quit and become a hippie!
It can happen at any age a person feels they are stagnant. Some people just get there sooner than others. Some never get there at all.
My brother in law bought a horse and swears he should have been a cowboy........Even my husband thinks he is acting crazy.
Hopefully your husband will settle in after feeling he has made some changes in his lifestyle and you won't have a horse in your den!
.
2007-05-03 01:45:59 · answer #8 · answered by momwithabat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's trying to get some excitement in his life. And also trying to get noticed and see if he's still "got it" with the ladies. I agree with most of the other answerers, that he is afraid this is all life has to offer and wants to get out and feel some of that old excitement. Can you go out with him, offer to go out and have the fun WITH him? Can you get a babysitter every Fri or Sat night and you two go out and have some fun? Why don't you go out and get a tattoo too, I'm sure he'll like it. Why don't you try and make home exciting and fun too. Like when he comes home from work, have the kids gone, have some drinks ready, a good movie and something sexy on? Maybe he won't want to leave then? Don't nag him. Show him you can be fun too. Go out with your friends too and show him you also still have a life, and can go out and have fun alone too, if that's how he wants it. Let a little gossip get out about how another guy hit on you. Maybe that will spark some jealousy and make him appreciate you and what he's got. It may take him going out and making lots of dumb mistakes before he realizes the good wife he's got at home. I hope it won't be too late. Hang in there and try some of these suggestions.
2007-05-03 02:23:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are classic signs of a midlife crisis for sure. I also think there's some depression involved too. Don't put too much pressure on him to find out "what's wrong"......he doesn't know probably. Just love him, be patient with him, and don't "push". Good Luck!
2007-05-03 01:46:34 · answer #10 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya daft lass, of direction you're no longer too previous to start something new! I also have a stable pal who's 40 and he or she all started doing an paintings degree. She's now practising her high quality paintings degree then is doing a masters after that! She'll be mid 40s by skill of the time she's finished, yet she's loving it. you should circulate and get some careers suggestion and notice what thoughts are open to you. Please do no longer supply up on in spite of it relatively is you pick to do. Get your self onto a school direction and meet people who you have something in undemanding with. I met my husband by information superhighway relationship, so it may paintings.
2016-10-04 07:49:26 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋