marriage getting worse!!!?

Question

I tried sitting down talking to my husband letting him know how I feel but, I'm still getting nothing. As I said before we had this problem over an ex of his who recently passed away. Just yesterday I was online playing around and he accidentally left his email page up. I saw where he had been talking to this woman the entire time he was deployed in Afghanistan and he was saying how much he loved her and missed her and that they would be together when he got home. He came home November last year, and she passed in December. I feel like if she was still here, he would find an excuse to get out of this marriage even though he got me pregnant in December. He claims she told him she was pregnant around the time we got married so he said he thought it was the right thing to do to keep saying he loved her. I guess his strategy is to get women pregnant, leave them, and move on and fall in love with someone else to get away from responsibility. Can someone tell me what to do??? Please??

Answer 1

I think its obvious what you need to do. Get out of this marriage and get out soon.

Answer 2

Your husband was having conversation with this other woman while in Afghanistan, was he talking to you as well? Only he knows the truth as far as if she was still alive would he leave you to be with her. He's not going to tell you the answer to that because she's now deceased and therefore he has no reason to discuss it. It wouldn't be an excuse he was to leave you, he's just the type of man that loves them and leaves them when he finds a new one. He got you pregnant perhaps to keep a hold on you so that he'd always have to have contact with you as well. Her telling him that she was pregnant just before he married you perhaps was her way of trying to hold on to him. What happened to the child that she was supposedly having? Is there actual proof that she was having a baby not just any baby but your husband's baby? It sounds like either your husband thinks and feels he's a "Mack Daddy" or he he has low self-esteem and whatever a female tells him he falls for. Him producing all children is great but is he going to be able to take care of his children? The best thing for you to do is think about is your marriage to this man worth saving? If you feel that you can move on and continue having a future with him then by all means try and work on your marriage. If you feel that he may continue to contact other women and get them pregnant and perhaps leave you to be with them then you need to pack your bags and move on. You can come up with an easy solution on your own, remove yourself from the situation and think about it this way if a female friend or your sister came to you with this same situation what would be your advice to them? Think deep in your heart about what you would tell them and there would be your answer. You wouldn't tell your sister or a friend anything that would harm them or that you wouldn't be willing to do yourself.

Answer 3

Although your judgments are harsh for a good reason you would have to sit down and talk to him in a neutral way to get the truth. Try not to let your feelings get in the way of talking about his feelings. If he did indeed love her and harbor feelings for her while you were together then for whatever reason you can't seriously believe just because she's dead that he's not going to do something like this again. He cheated on you--there is a reason and it's a painful one. But until you can understand the reason and work on that problem together it's just going to happen again. You really need to talk to a marriage counsellor about this or you're going to feel insecure in your marriage indefinitely.

Answer 4

I can only imagine how you feel. If I were you I would call a counselor and talk to someone about all of your feelings and, get direction on what action you should take. Who knows what men have running through their minds when they are over seas? He has hurt you deeply and now you are confused on what you should do about it? I would also be devastated if I was made to believe that my husband loved and cared for me and found out what you did, and he owes you an explanation. You can not carry these emotions on your own .......you need help and support. The most important thing right now is your baby and it is not good for all this stress to be in your pregnancy. Your life and your baby's come first, so please go talk with a professional and keep yourself safe. I am so sorry that this has happened to you but please know if you choose to move on your life without the baby's father you can do it! You deserve to be respected and appreciated for who you are. Your world is in a haze right now and you need help for your life to become clear again. I wish you a beautifull baby and hope that things turn out for you both.....so take care of yourself sweetie.

Answer 5

I consider marriage, like some thing else, is what you make of it. It may be as just right or unhealthy as each of you treat each and every different. Marriages can worsen over time just like they may be able to get higher over time. No, I do not believe persons naturally live to destroy every other, whether in a brief or lengthy-term relationship. I feel when relationships go unhealthy, it's for several explanations. Laziness, no longer working to grow collectively as a substitute of apart, lack of predominant communication and relationship competencies, not talking about and being on the identical web page relating to the predominant problems in existence, no longer working out human wish and lust and what to do about it, not spending sufficient time collectively, having too many children too speedily, juggling too many things at once, being selfish, letting your own personal problems get in the way rather of getting aid for them, improper attitudes and recommendations about marriage, what it manner, and what it particularly takes to make it work, etc. Backside line...I think selfishness makes marriages worse and destroys them.

Answer 6

Well, I do see where you're coming from. It's not the fact that she's no longer around, it's the fact that up until this time, he had been corresponding with her without your knowledge and had she not passed on, what then? It's about principles, afterall.

If talking to him isn't getting you anywhere, I suggest you get some counseling for yourself to try and work on your share of pain then perhaps you can find your answer on what to do. This is a complicated situation and there are no easy answers.

Answer 7

You are in a bad spot but personally i think that you should leave him and raise the baby on your own. He does sound like the type of man that likes to fool around and he will do it again. Cheaters cant change even if they say they will, they will only do it again and again. Get out while you still can and start a new life. Good luck and congrats with the baby

Answer 8

You know its not the fact the idea that she would go back to her ex bc she's dead, but the mere fact is why the hell did he marry you in the first place. get out before it gets unhealthy for you. relationships are conditional, not uncondtional or else there would be no such thing as divorce. the messed up thing is that you are pregnant right now, and what you need is someone you can count on. I know what your brain is thinking, its just that damn heart that messes our head up. i think you know what you need to do and deep down you wish he could change, but will he?

Answer 9

Well...It is obvious that he will not be leaving you for her but,i wouldn't trust him.Trust is everything in a marriage without trust you have nothing.Do you trust him if not then you are wasting your time and you need to move on..It doesn't sound like he is going to be faithful to you so save yourself the hurt and get out now..

Answer 10

I think you should accept his explanation and quit bugging him about this woman. She's dead and can't cause trouble with him. Hormones go crazy when a woman is pregnant and you may be having irrational thoughts. At lease give him a chance to redeem himself.

Answer 11

its a very complicated situation you have to handle this situation with great wisdom
and you are a married women you have to convince and try to remove from that girl
and try to remove all the vices and weakness in yourself and prove herself the best wife and try to convince him and do what he wants Inshallah your problem will be solve
and its no any solution to come out of the marraige you have to think about yourself and your baby don't be take any step in hurry or in anger
be cool and calm and try to solve and also pray to God He will help you