I am in the beginning stages of getting a divorce. I have three kids with her and a house. she is abusive and has been the entire relationship, I have had her arrested for it, but now she is saying she is going to make me pay.
2007-05-02 22:32:30 · 15 answers · asked by Ken 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Even without the abuse, divorce is a very bumpy ride. You did not really state the grounds, or provide enough to predict any outcome. But, if you can prove the abuse has been on going, you may be the victor out of this.
2007-05-02 22:48:03 · answer #1 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you should be concerned with are those children. If she is abusive, get her away from those children. She might take this out on them.
Not in any way does this have to be ugly! Your a man, act like a man and you should be able to handle everything. Show her and the children that your in control and work with her. Don't stoop to her level.
If you don't want alot of trouble, the best thing you can do for you and the children, no matter how crazy it seems, is help her get thru this! It's difficult, but it's worked with many people. Let her know, or let her think that you still care about her in a different way now. Not as your wife, but as the mother of your children. You can become good friends. Tell her your worried about her and you want to see her happy and enjoy life now. Divorces always become alot easier when you work together. Don't be selfish and you will get what you give in the end. Those children are suffering now, because of your divorce. Don't put wood on their fire.
She is a miserable person. You can help that. Unfortunately, because she is the mother of your children and you will be dealing with her until their 18 yrs. old. I wish you all the Luck.
2007-05-03 06:14:44 · answer #2 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Main priority here is the children,get custody of them as she has been abusive to you and been arrested for it this shows she is unstable and could harm the kids,use these points in your arguement on having custody and ask that she has supervised visits. You have suffered enough by the sounds of it and divorce is no easy ride,she probably means she will make you pay finacially,she will think she will automatically get the house because of the kids, but if you have sole custody then you will get to keep the house so the children are not homeless. she may say you caused her to be abusive by goading her so much she lost control,if the police have a record of your calls and her arrest get these forwarded to your laywer as soon as and get a good reputable laywer.I dont know where you live but mothers used to get custody straight away but with the new fathers rights laws the court is more understanding..If you can prove you have been the victim and that the children where exposed to this and I hope they werent as they could have psychological issue because of it, then the court will lean in your direction. try to get medical evidence she is unstable,also you may have to give up work to look after the kids so she wont be able to hit you in the pocket, you have a lot on your side in this and yes with her threat to you it will get really ugly and nasty. Just make sure the children are kept out of this and dont need to witness any fights and arguements between you, they are the main priority in all of this also reassure them that they are in no way to blame for this happening, and that you just cant live with her anymore and you dont want them to suffer, Im sure they will understand that you have their best intrest at heart..
Good luck any threats she makes keep a record of them get an interdict out on her so she cant come near you,if she breaks this she will be arrested, you have endured enough in this relationship by the sounds of things, you deserve better and no amount of money is worth your sanity and safety....
2007-05-03 08:52:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't proof that she is abusive to the children, then indeed the only thing your going to pay is child support.. but you should have a talk with a lawyer your going to need a lawyer for this, ask him that you want joint custody of the children that might help, other than that you will be paying that child support that is what she means by making you pay. Good luck.
2007-05-03 07:44:15 · answer #4 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to get plenty ugly so watch your back and see to it that she can't get anything on you or spread lies around about you. She's a vindictive conniving shrew so get a restraining order and keep her away from you, the kids and everything that you own. Since you already know that she's been nothing but trouble and she vows revenge then take all the necessary steps to protect yourself. You already have complaints on record about her so just keep adding to what others are all ready aware of about her. Don't back down or show that you are afraid of her either. When she tries to make trouble for you then make it twice as bad for her and show her it's not worth the effort on her part.
2007-05-03 06:00:10 · answer #5 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she got arrested for the abuse, was she convicted? If so, you need to go for custody of the children, and if you have the children, the house. She won't likely be able to get custody if she was found guilty of the abuse.
I would say it's going to get REALLY ugly. However, from the sounds of it, it has been REALLY ugly. This is just the last concentrated splat of ugly until you're out of it.
2007-05-03 05:42:07 · answer #6 · answered by Kaia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's going to get mighty ugly. Trust me. But my husband was going through the same thing and still kinda is because of their child together. What is helping him is the police reports from her abusive behavior. You could go after full custody and possibly win because of it. I would go for it, who wants their children around an abusive person?
2007-05-03 06:02:53 · answer #7 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her its worth every penny to you not to have not to look at her abusive a s s anymore.
Get a good attorney and get the kids and if you are still with her keep track of the calls you make to 911 and have all that when you go to court.
Good luck
2007-05-03 05:54:49 · answer #8 · answered by dans.chat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to file for custody of your kids and get a copy of her rap sheet and document everything that she says to you accusations etc. Any pictures you maybe able to acquire that could be use full
2007-05-03 06:03:41 · answer #9 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get copies of the police reports you've filed against her and hire a good lawyer. It may get ugly but if you have a good lawyer things could go your way.
2007-05-03 05:39:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋