I was so hurt and bitter after divorce (cheated on me)after 15 years of loving him...tell me it's ok to feel love again...so scared of falling in love again..can't go through any more pain...tell me true love does exist? I am in love with a man that is everything I have wanted..but so scared of getting hurt again. He is everything my ex husband wasn't and everything I have always wanted..but scared of getting hurt? What can I do to convince myself that he will be someone I can grow old with...I love him so much but am so scared to tell him how I feel.
2007-05-02 22:01:56 · 15 answers · asked by buggie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You poor thing.
Go for it, you've learnt from your mistakes and this time I'm sure you've chosen more wisely - you know what didn't work and what you don't like in a partner.
Now you say this guy is the opposite of your partner, well that shows you've learnt.
Don't be scared of getting hurt - give yourself but give it cautiously with your eyes wide open. Just keep on telling yourself that you deserve happiness.
I feel for you hun, but think how lucky you are to have found love again. Embrace it and don't let it go!
Tell him you're scared, and take things slow.
Good luck, and enjoy every minute of it xxx
I just had this sent to me as a forward - thought it could help you.
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin.
2007-05-02 22:13:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh do do do tell him! Of course you are hurt who wouldn't be, but your bruises are in danger of preventing the healing taking place. Tell him but don't tell him everything in ten minutes as even if he likes you he may see this confession (for you telling a man you love him after so long not saying it will be a catharsis and will be deeply emotional for you) as desperation. I know it isn't but I can almost feel the tears welling up inside you so don't freak him out by accident. I have no idea what relationship you have with the guy - physical, distant? So I am not going to tell you when and how to do it but a hug and whisper the truth to him and great expectations should work. Timing is everything so you will have to wait until he is looking right into your eyes and then you will know. Yes you can love again and it will be better than before. Yes true love exists I assure you and it is very precious. I am sorry you have been hurt and hope for you that this guy will appreciate how much you love him. Good luck.
2007-05-02 22:14:52 · answer #2 · answered by pwwatson8888 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's definitely okay to fall in love again and I do understand your feelings & apprehensions because they're quite normal after being gone through some painful & bitter experiences. So all I would say is that since you've been hurt & betrayed before so you may just need to be a bit careful this time & this is just to protect yourself & your feelings- Careful in the sense you've to make sure what this man's true feelings are towards you - I mean has he ever expressed his love & desires towards you in a concrete way ?? This is important & more so now beacuse you've strong feelings for him so it's obvious that sooner or later you may probably wish to get settled down with this man.So you've to know & make sure of his feelings & true intentions in order to avoid any future disappointments. And yes, true love does exist though sometimes it's a bit hard to find But it does exist & so if you're sure you've found it in him then I would say go for it, don't let your fear or past hold you back because what happened has already happened & there're things in life which're beyond our control. And yes, life would sometimes bring some painful things too but we've to learn to live through all this & find a way. So if you're sure of his feelings then I would say go for it & I just hope your instincts are true & maybe he is indeed the man you're suppose to grow old with so good luck :-)
2007-05-03 00:23:39 · answer #3 · answered by SpiderQbeck 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is very much okay to fall in love again. Luckily it sounds as though you found a man that is nothing like your ex and you said that he is everything you ever wanted. Go for it...just because your ex hurt you does not mean that this man will. Don't let your past relationship ruin a possibly good relationship.
2007-05-03 03:08:49 · answer #4 · answered by susie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may get hurt again. There's always that chance.
However, you may not. This man may be the absolutely best thing that's happened to you ever. Do you want to risk never knowing? You can get over being hurt, you did it before.
You're old enough to know that the CHANCE at real happiness is worth the chance. So, suck it up and leap back in there.
2007-05-02 22:47:16 · answer #5 · answered by Kaia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are no guarantees little buggy, thats just the way life is. You're going to get hurt sometime in the future. Life is not going to be a smooth highway, you can always count on some pot holes.
Go for it, this guy sounds great. Love him, let him love you. Be present with him. Who knows if you'll grow old together. The world could end tomorrow or you could decide that you're really a lesbian.
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=10985686747941482137
Tell him how you feel while you're stripping off your clothes and kissing down his chest, I'm sure he'll comfort you ;)
2007-05-02 22:12:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My last husband left me for my best friend and I thought I could never let myself trust anybody and love again.
Thank God I was wrong.
I've been happily married to an amazing man now for three years.
Sometimes you have to risk being hurt in order to gain the Good Stuff. Tell the man how you feel.
Because, sweetie, true love DOES exist. I'm living proof.
2007-05-02 22:06:04 · answer #7 · answered by j3nny3lf 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, love with all of your heart. Life is too short not to. It's those terrible experiences that make the wonderful ones even sweeter. I am divorced from SATAN himself and I didn't think I would move on but here I am! I'm happily in love and remarried to the sweetest, most loving and trust worthy man on the planet. Find your happily ever after and enjoy life as it was intended. Best wishes. (I'll dance at your wedding!)
2007-05-02 22:09:08 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hurt from our past affects our future relationships. any relationship we enter has the possibility of heartbreak. you have to be secure that you have learned from your past, and not place unfair expectations on this new man. give the guy a chance. you dont want to live life with regret either.
2007-05-03 02:58:33 · answer #9 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'ts always ok to fall inlove again everybody desirves a change at happiness
2007-05-02 22:04:43 · answer #10 · answered by Janice M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋