I am 32 yrs old and married for 3 and a half yrs. we do not have children yet. I am an employed woman. My husband earns a meagre salary but I earn better than him. My husband has some property. Often he asks me money as he does not have any sort of savings. Besides all these he used to take money from my A/c or my purse without my knowledge and his justifcation is he has got all the right to take the money even without my knowledge and it is not a mistake at all since I am his wife. Though he is affectionate towards me, I have dissatisfaction towards him due to two things , one his monetary dependance on me secondly his this kind of a behaviour. Inspite of he being affectionate I sometimes feel that he is hurting my feelings by doing all these things. I always used to tell him that I dont like his taking money without my knowledge. If he does certain things against my principles it definitely hurts me is it not? Is he really affectionate. If he is really affectionate will he dosuch
2007-05-02 20:34:36 · 6 answers · asked by janu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Will he do such things when I have told him that I dont like him doing all these things, if he is really affectionate. Earlier due to these problems, I even decided for a divorce only bcoz of my family members advice I went back on the decision. Again my family advises me not take a hasty decision since he is affectionate towards me immaterial of his activities. Since my family also says like this, for my happiness sake can I choose a person of my choice and just maintain a relationship with him secretly. I dont think it is wrong since I am not satisfied with my married life. My family some times says that past is past try to forgive and forget but I am not able to even when I have sex with him these thots enter my mind and l lose interest to indulge in sex with him. I am in a fix .Pls advise
2007-05-02 20:40:24 · update #1
I often for good reasons only God has not blessed us with a child. Am I right so that I need not suffer with the child.
2007-05-02 20:42:16 · update #2
Because he is your husband he should have respect for you and cannot use this excuse to take your money. Get yourself a new account and dont give him access. If he cant control his finances he should not mess with yours. in addition have a good think about your relationship because are your emotional and physical needs being met. I had this conversation with my man 2 nights ago.
2007-05-02 20:41:08 · answer #1 · answered by scragatag 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you have is a relationship in which there is not enough trust. That will get worse before it gets better.
You can do one of two or three things. You could learn to accept his behavior, which would preserve the relationship. You could make him attend counseling with you, or you could divorce him.
I would suggest you try to get him to counseling, but if that doesn't work it would appear either of the other choices will at some point surface as your course of action.
2007-05-02 20:41:04 · answer #2 · answered by Warren D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your married then in my opinion your money is joint. He shouldn't be going in your purse but you shouldn't view it as just your money. You prob feel that way because your the bread winner and maybe you feel like he should be. Make him get a better job. Get seperate accounts. Either way he shouldn't have to ask for money unless its a big purchase and then you guys should sit down and talk about if its fesible or not.
2007-05-02 20:42:29 · answer #3 · answered by ckpipes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he is wrong he shouldn't do such things,he don't have rights to waste your hard earning money,But you asked? is it wrong choose your own way? what that means? you don't love him any more?Do you want to choose other life partner? if you really like him then you need to talk to him seriously&strongly but with very polite way, try to convince him&make him understand, tell him about your feelings&how much you have been hurted by his behavior, give him few months time to change his behavior,tell him if he dont change? you will choose your own way,After all these effort if he didnt change? then you can diside to choose your own way, But remember make sure that your new way will make you or keep you happy!!!
2007-05-02 21:01:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are right and he is wrong. There are 2 important things in a committed relationship. The first thing is called "trust" and the second thing is called "respect". Obviously, he is lacking of the second thing.
2007-05-02 20:38:42 · answer #5 · answered by jolin10 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you got alot to complaint about and can write a book. are you sure you dony have issues and want to blame others . if i was the husband id leave
2007-05-02 20:49:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋