I have been in long term relationships before and am 'normal' in that I do get sexually attracted..to men, and enjoy intimacy but I have never enjoyed penetration.. and have always found it very painful..
Honestly if I never had intercourse again I would not miss it.
It has been 2 years now since I was last in a relationship..and I have closed myself of from that world...
But at the same time I do miss the other aspects of a relationship, and have always been very domestic and maternal. I really want to have a family and not end up an old maid living alone with her cats..
Please give me advise.. Is it posible to find a husband who doesn't want sex. Or is that a given thing in mariage?
2007-05-02 17:19:04 · 69 answers · asked by ???? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You could marry a gay guy and be artificially inseminated.
2007-05-02 17:22:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
There are many types of intimacy other than penetration. If you have someone that truly loves you he and you will find other ways to make love. There is a huge difference between sex and love making. I have a husband that is much older than I and penetration is not on our list of priorities to say the least. I like you would rather not have it at all. It just leads to more children and I already have six. LOL :) There are a lot of women who want more love making in their marriage and the husbands want to be gentle and not have the penetration. Do yourself a favor, don't settle just to have a mate. Wait for the right one that fits what ever it is that you are looking for. You will find the person who is right for you. As with starting every new relationship, don't find someone you can save or train. People don't change for the most part. They grow up and change life styles but don't change behavior. Find the someone you are comfortable with and love and like him for who and what he is not for what he can become. Make sure that person feels the same way about you. This will make a good, long, and happy life.
2007-05-10 14:07:07 · answer #2 · answered by flateach33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For every cup there is a saucer my grandma would say. Question to you - if instead of pain, penetration brought you pleasure - would you changeyour mind about sexual intercourse with men? You could have a hyperextended hymen - one whih has been partially torn - but is healed and may still be intact today - a rather simple surgical procedure can be-done to remove the hymen to allow for vaginal acces and normal pain-free intercourse. Youi should check with your OBGyn. There might also be some buried psychological issues involved in what is causing you pain.
On the flip side, yes I do believe there are men of every age out here that may not feel that vaginal sex is the end-all and be-all of the sexual experience between a man and a woman, but I did not get a reading on whether or not you were open to mtual masterbation, oral or anal sexal contact, or if you were shooting for celebacy.
setting that issue aside for a moment, there is certainly nothing to preclude you from having a full house hold of children unless you are sterile or unwilling to adopt. If you are still having you menstrueation cycle every month, and prodcucing egs which can be harvested and fertilized by your husband using the invietro technigue, then you could still take babies to full term and experience live birth. The alternative is adoption.
So I think with all of the ground breaking work happening on the medical front on a daily basis, I can see women, who could never concieven spawning great families.
2007-05-10 07:46:33 · answer #3 · answered by jtrall25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question to you - if instead of pain, penetration brought you pleasure - would you changeyour mind about sexual intercourse with men? You could have a hyperextended hymen - one whih has been partially torn - but is healed and may still be intact today - a rather simple surgical procedure can be-done to remove the hymen to allow for vaginal acces and normal pain-free intercourse. Youi should check with your OBGyn. There might also be some buried psychological issues involved in what is causing you pain.
On the flip side, yes I do believe there are men of every age out he
2014-11-02 12:08:26 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch! Maybe it isn't the intercourse itself more than knowing how to find what pleases you both. If it is painful to you, that seems to be the real problem here, not the actual act.
Maybe you might do some research on some creams or ointments that may remedy the problem. Some of them have a slight numbing sensation. I would think that size is an issue for you as well. I once dated a girl that was very small and we had to take our time and allow her to relax and not rush things. By learning to do this, we both had a lot of fun and pleasure.
Good Luck.
2007-05-09 06:26:37 · answer #5 · answered by johnchrstpr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask your gynecologist or doctor why you are experiencing pain upon penetration!
Do not close yourself off from the possibility of a fulfilling and satisfying sex life without medical advice.
And maybe the men you have been with have not been knowledgeable about how the female body works and how you need to be stimulated in order to enjoy sex.
Don't give up!
2007-05-09 20:01:50 · answer #6 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well have mercy Girl do you really think a guy wants to marry you to just look at you . GET REAL if you don't want to end up being that old maid you mentioned . then i advise you to give it up honey . or you will find yourself in divorce court. and no to answer your question last time i checked you need to have inter coarse to have children unless of coarse you want to have artificial insemination . sex is wonderful and pleasurable with the person you love and if you find it painful every time maybe you should consult your Doctor for the reasons as to why it is so painful for you .
2007-05-10 16:53:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not wanting to have sex between married poeple is not that immposibe eventhough its not normal . any couple shoudlnt be ashamed of it and shoudl try to get help to try to enjoy their intemite life again , but u wont find any body that woudl wanna marry and not have sex infact many hates to get married coz tahst meas they shodul have it only with one person for rst of their lives and tahst kinda scare and bore them .
i do beleive that u r first experience was with someone who aint gentle aint understanding and a complete savage . it shoudl be painful first couple times but later shodul get better and better beside even at the very first time it is sweet pain, and the girl would be sore and that but eager to have it again may be more than first tiem ad it getts better and better and better then it gets to be ok and then cpuple need to learn tricks to keepthe heat and so on like anything else it goes though ups nd downs all the way. u shodul try to get help any good shrink woudl help u to get in touch with ur feelings and childhood memroeis may be u were abused as a child and tahst why u dont appreicate havin sexual entercourse. get ur problem treatede and dont ignore it any longer and stop thinkin of finding sucha weird partner its not the answer to ur priblme. if u tried some match maker u might end up with some homo who woudl need a woman as a cover coz he cant coem out u defnifnty dont want that.
its never too late
good luck
2007-05-10 15:19:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to your Gyno about the pain. I had a friend that had pain during sex....she had to have a MINOR surgery. She never had pain again...and she enjoys sex very much. I think that is quite common. Sex is a pleasurable thing. There should be no pain. Your Gyno can help you with that. It could be a mental imbalance too. Either way....it is fixable. Probably the reason you don't want to have sex is because all you have felt is pain, or perhaps nothing at all. Trust me, you don't want to go the rest of your life without feeling good sex! GO TO YOUR GYNO GIRL! SEX IS GREAT!
2007-05-09 17:17:58 · answer #9 · answered by Fernando G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will be very hard for you to find a husband who shares your views. You may however find one, but in doing so may I suggest that you be very upfront with this man from the beginning or two hearts are likely to get broken. You can always adopt a child or do IVF to get pregnant. But if you don't like sex and that is painful for you, child birth may be a bit of a hassle for you. Have you been to a gyno and had a full check to see if everything is right in your "nether regions" to see if there is a cause for the painful penetration? Or maybe try a whole lot of good lube when you have sex, or a man that is less endowed that others. I hope all goes well for you, good luck.
2007-05-02 17:24:56 · answer #10 · answered by prettyprettyprincess 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
To your question, no it´s not possible... making love is a natural expression of the heart and soul of 2 that will join together and show their love that way. Having said that the fact that you don´t feel comfortable with having sex or making love and that it´s always been kind of traumatic to you means that you either have a trauma that might come from your parents or people around telling you that sex is bad and that you will burn in hell and that created some kind of trauma making you block the pleassure sensation or maybe you have some problem in your intern system that might be causing that extreme pain... you might need to go to a doctor and get check out a pap or something like that might help clear all of those doubts.
2007-05-02 17:23:54 · answer #11 · answered by Stephanie F 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋