What do you think about training women through 'selective complimenting'?

Question

Years ago, when I led a group that taught men how to be good leaders in society and in family life, I taught them what I termed 'selective complimenting'. Basically, men find something that is good about a woman and compliment her on it. By complimenting her (and continuously complimenting her) that ideal will subconciously sink into her mind as a good thing to do all the time. For example, let's say I was to see a woman fix a plate of food for a man. I would go up to her and tell her how sweet that was of her to do that and how I wish more women did things like that. In her mind, she will associate that as a good thing and would be more likely to repeat it because of the good outcome of it (compliments, flattery, etc.) This also works with getting women to dress the way you want. If a man sees a woman he knows maybe at work or in public and sees her wearing revealing clothing, he could ask her "Don't you think that is too revealing?" Now she will be more concious of how she

she dresses. I call that 'subliminal suggestment'.

Good idea?

FireKitty, I think that is great and wish more women did that. Good thinking sweetie.

Answer 1

I feel a compliment goes a long way. I know of a relationship where all they do is yell at one another. Neither is ever happy and nothing is ever accomplished without a screaming match and both parties left wondering why they continue to bother. I believe that an "I appreciate what you did" is wonderful. Even an "I think this is good however I think if you did this it would be better" really sticks in the mind.

And those who say people shouldn't be trained....Media trains people everyday. Parent's train their kids. And you know there are women out there that think "I can change him" ALL of that conditioning is nothing more then training.

Answer 2

Its better than the other option. Beating them or degrading them to get what you want.

They say flattery goes a long way.

What do you think about women complimenting men on what an excellent job they did on remodeling the house? Or telling them how sweet it was of them to fix whatever was broken in the house (plumbing, jewelry, appliances, etc.)? Or telling them how unprofessional and unmanly that outfit makes them look?

Answer 3

It's called Positive Reinforcement, and it was first discovered by B.F. Skinner. He created a maze for rats, which contained several levers, that when moved, released food pellets. The idea was that by releasing the food, you could train the rats to move the levers, even after the food is removed. It's the same concept. It's been studied since by psychiatrist. It is effective, but it's used as a tool for self esteem and dog training, not trying to get your woman to fix you dinner! LOL!

Answer 4

This is effective on either of the sexes. Anyone constantly being praised for a job is more likely to do it good the next time as well.

Answer 5

Not a bad idea; remembering it takes a bit of honey to gather more flies than what it does with vinegar.

Answer 6

I think my wife nailed it...we men are just learning to catch up.

Answer 7

Excellent idea!

Answer 8

Girls have already been doing that to men for centuries!

Answer 9

I don't think people should be "trained" in anyway. We aren't dogs! That is so terrible that you would try to train women.

Answer 10

...I think you're learning to copy what we've been doing to your side of the species for a long, long time. -Nothing new there, sorry.