I cheated on my wife a year ago, we tried to work past it but she could not leave it alone, every fight we got into she brought it up and help it over my head since then... Now we have been seperated for three months and she has cheated on me, she wants to come back... I am wondering if it will be different since she got it out of her system or will it be the same...? I am not mad at her for doing what she did, i just want to hear it from her mouth... Should we give it another chance?? or will it be the same as always...
2007-05-02 16:25:15 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you say you are not mad at her, then let her come back. Do you think she cheated on you to get back at you? If so, I think you both are even and both have the understanding of how it feels to be betrayed. Give it another shot! Life is too short!
Good Luck
2007-05-02 16:36:37 · answer #1 · answered by Pocahontas 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience, I was cheated on and chose to stay with that person, it took almost two years for me to completely trust him again. You both will always have the idea of the other one being with someone else. If you do stay together try counselling because it will get your unresolved issues out. Plus, there will be a mediator there to point out the obvious and the not so obvious. Good Luck!
2007-05-02 23:40:09 · answer #2 · answered by Misty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh ouch - the "get back at you" sex. I would imagine that she's hurting even more now than before. Do not be fooled into thinking that since she cheated once, she will do it again. This may have been something to draw your attention (it did) to try to make her believe you're even (it won't really) and now she wants to go back to "reality". As for forgiving you - she's just put pressure on herself to "have to" forgive you. - This in the eyes of others is usually seen as weak unless she did the same back.
If you truly love each other - if you ever truly loved each other - if you commit to each other once again - it can be real again for both of you.
Make sure you invest in your marriage though. I highly recommend the relationship series by Tony Robbins.
2007-05-02 23:37:47 · answer #3 · answered by stars the limit 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
things wont ever be the same, you both went outside of the marriage....eventhough you were seperated when your wife cheated....it is no different, u two are not boyfriend and girlfriend. you are husband and wife...that is serious... you both comitted adultry, you dont take your vows seriously....y get married if your just going to cheat on one another? if you both are willing to give it another try, you two need to seek some spiritual and marriage counseling, go on marriage retreats, learn and understand one another, and learn about what marriage is all about, concentrate on loving one another whole heartedly and not think about touching someone else...if you both are willing then there is a chance, this marriage could change and be better if you both work at it together
2007-05-03 00:47:18 · answer #4 · answered by M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That sounds kind of dangerous because two wrongs don't make a right. I don't think it will be the same because now you two have more to argue about. She will still she bring up your indiscretion and will use it to justify why she did the same thing. I think you guys should just call it quits or get some counseling if you think it's worth a try. Good luck sweetie.
2007-05-02 23:34:01 · answer #5 · answered by Ki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Same as always..she is not going to let it go, but will add her cheating as YOUR FAULT to the list. Very foolish of both of you to handle this in the manner you have....She has not gotten over anything, plans on punishing you from now on...do not let her. Time to say next! And mean it. Not because she fooled around...big deal...but because this thing is never going to go anywhere. Sorry to be so negative, but when someone cheats, the other has two choices...put it down, forgive and move on and past the deal, or spend eternity trying to punish the other for such a "grievous" offense. Hog Wash....no one is going to pay and pay, and pay.......it gets old very quickly. Seems that too few understand that. Good luck
2007-05-02 23:32:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It will be the same as before, only worse, unless you seek some professional counselling together. You two clearly need an independent referee to sort out your cycle of revenge-cheating.
2007-05-03 07:43:14 · answer #7 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were separated then it would not be considered cheating. I would try marriage counseling before you make a decision either way. Date your wife again, and do all the things you used to do together before you were married.
2007-05-02 23:29:28 · answer #8 · answered by liebedich85 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you both cheated then it must be you two are not mature enough to get married. When you get married you make a commitment to love and charish that person and they should be the only one in your life. I suggest before you get back together to seek marriage therapy.
2007-05-03 00:59:28 · answer #9 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did not say you love her or that she loves you .if there is no love get a divorce and next time keep it in your pants!it sounds like its over cause there seems to be no real remorse or sorrow for what you did.i am sure your wife feels it too thats why she cannot forgive or forget because you dont feel you did anything so wrong! but you did thats why you arent mad cause you deserve it.but truth be known you will cheat again cause you are selfish,just end it!
2007-05-02 23:41:16 · answer #10 · answered by dixie58 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋